By: Megan M
I always envisioned that being a stay at home mother would consist of perfectly executed macaroni crafts and a spotless house and a wonderfully, well rested mother. Clearly, I must've been drunk when I had these thoughts because that is not what is going on in my house. Not now. Not ever. I have two small boys, Carter and Max, who are a day shy of being 18 months apart. Now by "small" I mean that Carter (my baby) will be a year in almost a week. I know, I know, clearly I have a death wish and should have a drinking problem by now. I love staying home and raising my dudes but, it is far from being all puppies and rainbows. It has actually taught me some very, very deep life lessons.
1. Don't be so judgy.
I was always the first one to gasp and say "oh my gawd. I would never!! How could she?" Listen unless you are in the persons exact situation, which by the way is super unlikely, back the eff off. You wouldn't like it if the shoe was on the other foot!! Have some compassion and empathy for your fellow mommy!! Shit is hard! We all do the best we can and have different ideas of what the best is for our families. So unless it's gross negligence, can it sister because I'm pretty sure you are far from perfect and don't have a lot of room to cast the first stone.
2. Shower time is sacred time.
Showers are the one time I am left completely alone and can relax.....so what if I'm in there for 45 minutes, leave me alone! I just need a minute to not be needed and clung to and screamed at and asked for something. I just want to shave my legs for Christ sakes. I looked forward to my solo shower just to sit on the floor of the tub and blank out. So if you disturb me and get a jail house shank fashioned out of a tooth brush lodged in your thigh don't act all surprised! Fair warning.
3. I will never, ever be THAT mom.
You know the mom that does all the amazing Pintrest projects and posts them to Facebook and makes every snack so it's organic and does every imaginable play group and class with their children. THAT mom yeah it's just not me. I have come to terms with this and mourned the death of my inner Donna Reed. I play in the mud with my kids and go on bug and salamander hunts, let them drink from the hose and I don't hover at the play ground, I (gasp) let them fall and learn from that digger....with in reason of course. When they need help they ask for it. I want them to be able to be free thinkers and realize when something may not be such a sweet idea. Belly flopping off the couch onto the hard wood floor is one of those ideas just for an example of the shennanigans my kids pull off. For me it works. I can't protect them from everything all the time. I don't allow them to stick objects in outlets or run with scissors....ya know that kind of stuff. And when I've had a long night with a sick baby, yes I let my toddler have a G Dammit cookie at breakfast just so he will shut it for 2 minutes so I can pee or put on a clean shirt. Don't get greedy mommy!
4. You will no longer have personal space or boundaries.
I am the only female in my house and as awesome as that may sound, there are some interesting questions that my 2 1/2 year old asks. For instance why Mommy's peepee is "all gone" or where my "boobies gone". You kid, they are gone because you legit sucked the life out of me...for 18 straight months. Now I have to save my allowance for a new pair. Selfish children. Oh and please don't think that I actually say this stuff to my kids. I don't and I mainly just have an all day sarcasm fest in my head. Lets face it, I can be kind of, shall we say, inappropriate for most. I haven't peed with the door shut or slept in my bed with out a little human in it for years and that shit messes with you.
5. Your kids will have to come second sometimes.
Ok, I am NOT talking about spoiling myself with a $300 purse or any of that crap. I am talking about mentally and emotionally taking care of me. I have to put my health first so that I can take care of my kids the way that they deserve to be taken care of. I go with out constantly and am always the last one on the list and I am perfectly ok with that. I feel that when it comes to my marriage and my own mental and physical well being, I need to be priority because if I am a hot mess then I am of no use to anyone!
6. It's a lifestyle. 24/7. End of discussion.
So here is the skinny: I grew up on the Cape and have lived here pretty much my entire life give or take 3 years. I am a stay at home mom of 2 little boys who are a day shy of 18 months apart. My baby will be 1 in December and my oldest turned 2 in June. In my pre-mommy life I worked in the medical field for over 10 years. I am really honest about what it's like to raise my 2 gremlins and try to find the humor and sarcasm in the midst of all the chaos. My boys and my husband are my world but I do get to "escape" and work a couple shifts a week outside of the home. I want to be able to give my take on being a mom, wife and woman in this crazy world and talk about the things everyone thinks but no one will say! I hope you enjoy!
Cape Cod Moms