by: Linda Bartosik
This post first appeared in my blog Another Day Goes By on January 5, 2011. It's a post I keep close at hand for when it's time to send my children out into the world, without me. September is near and whether its kindergarten or college your sending them off to, take comfort in knowing you're not alone. You're just being a mom. Enjoy.
Today I miss teaching more than ever. I walked into yoga and my instructor was really anxious about her first child starting school. I told her (as a kindergarten
teacher of 35 years) that both she and her son would be okay. I said I’ve known you and your child for over thirty years and there wasn’t a one of you that wasn’t okay.
The first day of school is a most painful experience for moms. You hand them their lunchbox, put them on the bus, go in the house and your heart is in pieces all over the living room. As you pick up the pieces you cry and tell yourself this is right and necessary. They’ve got to go out there and do it on their own. You’re confident you’ve given them all you had and they can now deal with life beyond your backyard. All you can do all day until that bus pulls back up at three o’clock is pray and ask that an angel be on their shoulder.
The next “first day” that rips your heart out is leaving them at college. Now you’ve had 18 years to give them all you’ve got to survive in the adult world, and you have to believe you emptied the attic, the basement, and every closet. This time they’re not coming home at 3 o’clock and you’ve got a lot of nights to sit up and pray that that same angel lives in that dorm room with them. Once again, when you get home, your heart is in pieces, not only all over the living room, but down the hall and into their bedroom, and in the dining room
where their pictures are hung, and in the bathroom where you find the wet towel on the floor that they used that morning. No one but a mother understands an empty house with pieces of her children all over it mixed with the pieces of her heart.
And just when we think they are sinking out there in the world, being tossed about on an angry sea and you want to rush to save them, you look up and there they are, flying steady and strong on their own.
Only a mom’s heart knows the hardest part of love is letting go……
If you are a mom reading this, please go download The Hardest Part of Love by Jane Olivor, grab a box of tissues and sit down and cry with me. We will all be okay.
Another Day Goes By
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