Do you ever feel like no one listens to you? Do you hear your Self repeating the same ultimatums over and over again? Do you sometimes feel like throwing your hands in the air and giving up?? Do you feel like you never get the respect you desire or deserve?
Whether you’re at home or at work, respect can be a real thorn for those of us with confidence issues, past or present. It seems nearly impossible to get people to cooperate when you can’t even get them to listen, right??
Believe me, I know what I’m talking about here.
As a dance teacher and occasional substitute teacher in the past, I’ve often wrestled with getting a roomful of noisy students to settle down and listen up. Part of my struggle is my low tone of voice, but previously my struggles centered around uncertainty and low confidence.
So, how did I change things, you ask?
First of all, I worked on building up my courage. I just jumped in with both feet and kept on putting my Self into situations that would force me to grow and force me to command respect.
For instance, I just finished choreographing a community theater production of Cabaret (have I mentioned this recently?…lol), during which conflicting personalities and styles of learning combined with limited
rehearsal time often resulted in a few unhappy, resentful dancers who were sometimes unwilling to accept me as the teacher.
Well, if our audiences are any indication, we have all succeeded despite our trials and challenges, despite our issues with giving and getting respect.
So, what is my formula for getting respect? I hear you asking me. Here is my awesome-sauciness recipe:
1) Talk to your Self with respect
If you don’t, then really, who will??
2) Surround your Self with other people who treat you with respect
Kind of obvious, no? Even if this seems impossible in your current circumstances, vow to ignore your haters. Treat them like the crickets they are — silent whenever you get too close.
3) Treat others with respect
4) Step up to the plate
Be the lion. Practice courage daily. Take a chance on doing something you really want to do. Stand up for
what you believe in, for a friend, for your Self. Speak up. Speak your truth, your OWN truth. Stop avoiding conflict, embrace it and learn from it. Courage is a muscle — build it, flex it, keep it limber.
5) Follow through
If you say you’re going to do something, do it. If you threaten to punish your kids with no TV for a week, stick to it. If you promise to reward them for something, do so. Be a person true to your word.
6) Accomplish, finish things
Don’t leave stuff undone. Once you buy the paint to re-do your bathroom walls, get out the brushes and
get painting! If you take a class (or your child does), then finish it — don’t make excuses to bow out and quit. Goes hand in glove with #5.
7) Ditch perfection
It’s really okay to be in the learning stages of things while you’re learning things. It’s really okay if your house isn’t perfectly clean all. the. time. It’s really okay if your relationship or marriage isn’t as perfectly passionate as it was back in the day. Priorities shift, life goes in cycles, things and people change. Respect
change and it will respect you.
Is feeling respected important to you? Do you feel like you get enough respect at home and/or at work? Hit REPLY and tell me about it. The more I know about your challenges and successes, the better I can help
*Pamela earned her Certified Professional Coach (CPC) credential from Fowler-Wainwright International and her BA in English Literature from Georgetown University. She has been writing and teaching professionally for over 20 years but continues to learn and improve her talents, gifts and skills with experience and training. Her unique background includes PR and marketing for the US Army and a natural wood finishes
manufacturer (both in Germany), translations from German to English for a global retailer, choreography and dance instruction for theater, plus English language training for foreign executives. Pamela has written travel articles, a regular column on cultural differences, book reviews, guest blog posts, her own weekly blog and eZine and she speaks frequently at live events, on radio and TV. Pamela is a featured coach on the Expert Panels of Kristen Howe’s www.LawofAttractionKey.com and Kerry Swetmon’s www.LifeBusinessGrowth.com. In addition, Pamela is on the Speakers Bureau of B.I.G. Women’s Network
Helping others increase their confidence is Pamela’s passion because she learned the hard way how important confidence really is for success in life. She wants to spare you the hard, dark journey she took and set you on a bright, happy path as quickly as possible!
To learn more and schedule your own complimentary SPARK Session, contact Pamela today.
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