By: Corinne Cameron

I am always interested in how people organize their lives. I figure most households are similar in that there are never enough hours in the day and there is always “something” that doesn’t get accomplished. And of course there are the different types of priorities and their importance really depends on the person they are benefiting, correct?

It isn’t until you sit down and either take the time to mentally put together all that is on your plate, journal it or have a blog you need to write, when you realize that that “plate” keeps growing. When it goes from a dessert plate to a bread then small dinner and finally large dinner plate, you realize that no matter the size, eventually the table is going to get filled too. As parents, we are always challenged with putting things in order of priority because, like it or not, a “day” only consists of 24 hours and some of those precious hours need to be devoted to sleep.

It's actually rather interesting to think, as the rhythm of your day unfolds, that something that was, for example, #3 on your priority list can so easily get pushed further and further down as other more “important” things arise and take its place. The way we personally rank our priorities is due to many things: the way we grew up, morals, health, outlook on life etc... Even in this new world of social media where we now know way more about the day to day of our “friends” lives than ever before, it doesn’t mean people post everything.  I find sometimes that we, as women, tend to judge others for those decisions without knowing the complicated individual filter each person has. If I could with this post impress any one thing on other mothers (or fathers) out there, it would be that 'your priority list is your own and don’t let anyone make you feel different.'

So I ask, how do you choose to organize yourself? Do you write lists? How do you determine what goes on the list? Is it just the major things or do you put every last thing down like “folding the laundry”. Do you have the same routine everyday for the normal things? I realize that my organization is very unstructured. Maybe that is my problem; if I actually wrote things down and had a sense of order, maybe I wouldn’t over schedule myself, wait until the last minute to accomplish things or downright forget to do things like cleaning out the little one's ears at bath time.

On the other hand, as a director, I am very structured. I write out lists to make sure everything gets done. I create timelines to ease my stress level and I am usually prepared way in advance for things like auditions, rehearsals, blocking, choreography etc.. So why can’t I do this for my life in general? Well, maybe it’s because life with a toddler is an ever-changing adventure? Who knew something so small could throw a huge monkey wrench in your day in a blink of an eye!

Even though I don’t write things down and forever feel unorganized in daily life, we do have a nice rhythm of our day and certain small routines that always happen. They tend to make life a lot easier such as always putting Remy’s shoes and socks on right before we are ready to leave the house, while he is sitting on “the shoe bench” (which is actually a wooden storage piece for our throw blankets). It works great! Saying “Remy go to the shoe bench to get ready” signals him to run over and sit cutely waiting on the bench with his infectious smile and giggle due to the excitement of our impending outing. We also have great routines for nap, bath and bedtime that make each “activity” go off without a hitch. Ok why did I feel the need to put “activity” in quotes? Well I guess sleeping is an activity, just a low energy one and my bizarre nature felt the need to separate the word in some way..but, I digress….

Moving on...I recently learned that despite the best of intentions of getting things done and moving things up on my mental list of importance,  life can always throw a curveball. These curveballs can be small or large, but change life in some way. My family has kind of had many good sized curveballs thrown out there as of late which has made life a lot more..umm… let's say 'complicated' for lack of  better term. Without detailing everything as it would take many pages to do so, I'll give a brief glimpse of what has changed my normal priority list which I will try to write in a short paragraph. Ok try to read this like one of those fast commercials that are done in improper English...

Dad doesn’t feel well, collapses, gets taken to the ER. Has his second brain bleed and is in Mass General for a while, then 2 rehabs, then home in time for Turkey Day. Mom, my hubby and I need to learn to care for him as he is now paralyzed on his right side and you really can't understand 70% of what he says. Aides, therapists and nurses in and out of their house, has another stroke and back in hospital, then a week of rehab, gets sprung for a day for Christmas and then discharged for New Year's. Only child, me, takes on caring for him 3 days a week while trying to reschedule Remy’s school and early intervention appointments. Hubby’s car on the fritz and down to one car and need to get him to and from work every day. Mom herniated a disk so Hubby, Remy and I pack up and move in for 5 days to care for them both. Keeping their house clean as it's on the  market (anyone want a nice three bedroom in Brewster??) while searching for a new house for us all to live.. Holidays, dental appointments (I'll write in my next post that I'm actually toothless right now and awaiting new teeth) MRI’s (for my own complicated medical picture), re-evals for Remy's early intervention due to delayed speech, quality time with the twins and the stomach plague hits both hubby and me for 4 days! Arggh!!

Phew.. Ok do I really need to explain more why I haven’t written in a while? Needless to say, life has changed a bit and is continually going to change until we all move and settle. It's both stressful and also exciting at the same time! I grew up with my grandmother in my home and it was great. I really love that Remy will have access to my parents on a daily basis.

Oh yeah, what I failed to mention, until now,  is that I was also charged with directing the entertainment for a fundraiser at Buzzards Play Productions for the theatre department. I plan to write a whole piece on this unique and awesome live venue in the future. Anyhow… between all that was going on, I lost my pianist for the night and in typical Corinne fashion was lucky to find one with a week left to go. I had two rehearsals scheduled for this past week and guess what? Yeah, one of them was on Blizzard Tuesday (the only day the pianist could come) so apparently mother nature didn’t want it to happen. Luckily the pianist (who has never done musical theatre) was able to come for 2 hours on our Thursday rehearsal. We didn’t get through all the music, including one piece that the two actors didn’t know! So they (the pianist and the actors) learned it an hour before the performance.

Ok shameless gushing coming…. One of those actors was my talented husband. The show went off without a hitch. As I watched everyone perform the different numbers I was in awe.. It started off with a “flash mob style” of doing “Seasons of Love” from the musical Rent. Rent was the first musical done at the venue so some of the cast came and joined the recent cast of The Rocky Horror Show to sing the song and it was beautiful! We did some numbers from “Rocky” including my hubby’s solo of “I’m Going Home”. I was standing off to the side of the stage holding a very tired Remy. He goes up, towering over the mic with his 6’6” frame and decides not to use it… he opens his mouth and the house was silent. The only possible thing that could have potentially been heard other than his beautiful voice was me getting choked up and starting to cry a bit.

It wasn’t just his voice that did it (although it was warranted), it was everything that I have just been writing about coming to a head. Even with all the trials and tribulations of life and major curveballs, there was time to just sit back and relax for a moment and beam with pride on behalf of the talent that assembled to support not only the arts but the venue in real need of a financial boost.

What is you escape activity? If you don’t have one, consider theatre… it will give more back to you then I could ever express on paper!

OK, nap time is over so off I go, go, go!

By: Suzanne Golden, M.S., CCC-SLP

This winter feels like it is dragging on and with all of the snow we have been getting my family and I have had to spend a lot of time inside!  One thing my daughter and I enjoy doing more of when we are stuck inside is reading.  Here are some hints and tips for making the time you spend reading with your child more meaningful. 

Before Reading

 Choose books together with your child

 Read about a variety of topics

 Talk about the title and look at the cover

 Predict what the story is going to be about

 Choose books your child has some background knowledge for and talk about it before reading


During Reading

 Label the pictures and encourage your child to say these words

 Use describing words to talk about the pictures you see (big/little, shiny, etc..)

 Ask your child to point to pictures throughout the book (“point to the doggy”)

 Introduce new vocabulary words and provide simple definitions (“A bulldozer! That’s a big machine that pushes dirt!”)

 Ask a variety of wh- questions (“Where is the doggy? Who is in the tree?”) If your child can’t answer verbally, encourage your child to point to the answer and you say the answer for your child to hear

 Pause to allow your child to fill in words that he/she may know

 
After Reading

 Ask your child to recall information from the story

 Retell the story with your child in your own words

 Look back through the pictures and encourage your child to retell the story in his/her own words

 Talk about your child’s favorite parts

 Read books with similar themes and talk about how they are alike and different

 Don’t be afraid to read books over and over again! Repetition is key to learning.

I hope these tips help you expand upon the time you spend reading with your child and help get you through this long, cold winter!

If you would like a PDF handout version of this information, please visit my website: www.goldenspeechtherapy.com

Recently a short YouTube video has been circulating from teacher Brian Switzer and students from the Morse Pond School in Falmouth.  This anti-bullying video from local kids on Cape Cod is amazing for several reasons, but the most important reasons are that our young kids in the community are taking a major leadership role and becoming empowered to make a change.  


Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has. ~ Margaret Mead

The video came about on two fronts. First, it was produced for a School Department program called “No Guff.” This is a yearly effort by the Falmouth Public Schools to raise awareness about bullying. Specifically, the video comes out of Morse Pond School’s TEAM Program. This is a Talented and Motivated classroom that is run by myself (I do the Language side of the program, i.e. film, journalism, theater, etc.) and Ann Goulart, who runs the math component of the program. (We both coordinated on the video project)
The second front is the creative side. As with most stories, books, videos, etc. it came from a small idea that was then enlarged and given details. In this case the idea of “Stand up” is where we started. It is a simple phrase but lends itself to the message that we want people to get up and do something about this horrible thing called bullying. Additionally we wanted to get across the idea that there are way more people supporting you then there are those who are trying to drag you down.

As a school, Morse Pond wanted to get everyone involved so they would have ownership in saying, “We stand behind the effort to stop bullies.” (I should also mention our Principal Andrea Schwamb, who supported this effort As for the students at the school, they are quick to get behind a project like this.) Not only does the message resonate with each one of them but they love being part of a project that is larger than themselves. These kids are part of the digital age and are all to familiar with Youtube and the internet. Here is an introduction to creating content for the internet that is positive and shows them and their community in a positive light. It’s empowering in a positive way. Our hope is it will have a lasting impact on our students and the larger community.

~Brian Switzer & Morse Pond School, Falmouth

By: Melissa Thurber

I grew up on Cape Cod.  It is my home and my safe haven.  Every chance I get to go home I am on that flight.  Currently I live in Navarre, Florida and my life is so different from my days on the cape. 

I became a mom at the age of 19 to a beautiful little girl named Delanie.  She was my world, my everything, and I gladly gave up everything that normal 19 year olds did to take care of her beautiful self and protect her from the harms of this world. 

Little did I know, the craziness that the world was carrying was going to take me away from her.  In November of 2003 I was called to war.  I was sent away from my then 18 month old daughter to go fight in a war that I never thought I would be a part of.   I had to bring her to my parents in Florida where she would stay during my entire deployment.

I was an Army Medic.  I was deployed to Baghdad, Iraq in 2003.  While I was there I was pulled from my Battalion and attached to a group of soldiers that ran security missions all around the country, but mostly in Baghdad.  I also did a rotation at the 31st CSH at the Green Zone in the heart of Baghdad while there was extremely heavy activity in the city.  It was a long and tiring deployment.

When I came home from Iraq things were very different for me.  My family life was not the same.  It was very hard to connect with my daughter and my parents.  I knew something was wrong but had no clue.  I tried to be mom again but it just didn’t work out the way I thought it would.  I then asked my parents to take her back for because both her and I had major adjustment issues.  She stayed with them for another 6 months until I met my husband and he helped me get on my feet enough to be a good solid mother to her again.  After a few years of struggling to live a normal life and hold a job like a normal civilian I decided to seek help.  That is when I found out I had PTSD.  It was a pretty hard thing to swallow.   I still hate it, but deal with it the best that I can.  It definitely holds me back with a lot of things in my life but I am NOW determined to fight back!!!

I have been a photographer for as long as I can remember. Photography is my release. It is my healing tool.  Every time I grab my camera it is almost as if my PTSD doesn’t exist, even if only for a short period of time.  My PTSD will never go away, but I believe that I have found something that helps me find solace in my chaotic life.

I know first hand how very hard it is to talk about why I have PTSD. I always just tell people it is from my deployment. My goal is to reach out to other veterans with PTSD, and through my photography, tell their stories and hopefully help them heal some along the way.  I am currently working on a photographic book about the emotions that PTSD brings up in Veterans.

I already have many Veterans with PTSD that I have spoken to that are 100% willing to participate as they trust that another Veteran with PTSD will be honest and real with their stories.  I have many interviews done already, and a few in the works as we speak.  Although, I do need about 100 total Veterans to make a full book.

Funding this project will bring light to an unspoken problem with today’s veterans, including myself, and hopefully will reach other veterans not in participation to see that it is ok to share our stories, no matter how it’s told.  The funds will go towards buying materials needed to accomplish each shot, travel to get to each location for each shot, any necessary equipment, spec books so that I can show them to publishers (or even self publish), and any other production related costs.

If you feel that you would like to support this project please click on the link provided in this post and donate.  It will not only help get this project rolling but it could potentially help many other veterans with PTSD along the way!!

You can check out my work at: www.melissajthurber.com

If you would like to make a donation to support this book: www.gofundme.com/fundingforptsdbook

by Tracy Lamperti, LMHC, BCETS

It’s not necessarily about how you handle one specific situation or the next, it’s more of a mindset, one that demonstrates intelligence, responsibility and character. 

Mixed messages and being wishy-washy only leaves our children having to decide in each specific experience if it is ok or not. 

Each parent has to decide what message they want to send their child about drugs. 

 

1.     You must live a life that is congruent with the things that you are telling your child.  It doesn’t work to say, “Don’t be a smoker like me.”  It doesn’t work to say, don’t take drugs and then make a family joke about how mommy (or daddy) can’t “deal” until their second cup of coffee.

2.     Multigenerational back up.  If you have parents or grandparents that are “old school” about not going to the doctor and not taking medication, encourage them to find ways to talk about this with your child.  Alternatively, you can talk with your child about how Grandpa never goes to the doctor and never takes medicine. 

3.     If you are going to partake recreationally and/or to excess– hide it for as long as possible.  Give your children the gift of being able to tell their friends, “I didn’t grow up being exposed to drugs and alcohol.”  “My mom (dad) doesn’t……”

4.     When your child gets a fever, reach for the cold compresses, lavender pillows, favorite movie, blanket and pillow.  Teach your child that there are things they can do when they feel miserable with illness besides take medicine.  Give them opportunities to practice this.  If they are due for their dose of children’s Tylenol or cough medicine at 6 pm, teach them that it will serve them much better if they take it right before going to bed.  No one promised any of us a life without suffering.  Teach them that they can get through the difficult 2 hours.

5.     Explain that each of us have been given a body that is leap years beyond any machine that humans have designed. Teach them that their uncomfortable fever is doing an important job.  Teach them that their body works in miraculous ways every minute of every day to keep the constant bombardment of germs and toxins from making them sick.

6.     Be wise about reaching for antibiotics and do the research on antibacterial hand lotion.  Do not withhold medicine from your child when they are sick.  I myself am guilty of waiting too long to go to the doctor and ending up with a respiratory infection that was much too hard to cure.  But be careful about sending a message that the going to the doctor is the answer.

7.     Consider behavioral, sensory and emotional intervention and seek professional support extensively prior to any trial of medication, ESPECIALLY with children.  Despite how these meds are being promoted, there really are not conclusive longitudinal studies available yet with many of them.  But aside from that, there are alternatives.  Seek them thoroughly.  I have already seen the shift with countless teens and adults who wholeheartedly believe that there is something wrong with their biology and they need meds.  Children who get the message early on that their mood and focus needs to be altered chemically are set up for challenges later on.

8.     Whether a child is physically sick or emotionally distraught, look to the FIVE senses.  The changes that happen in the brain when we smell a sent that is beautiful to us, or touch something that feels wonderful, or listen to something that sounds heavenly are well documented.  Teach your child to “change their state with their senses.

9.     How many ways can you think of to have fun?  When we teach children about good, healthy entertainment, they have a much better chance of becoming teens that seek good, healthy entertainment.  Children that experience entertainment through video games and TV will be more likely to expect to receive this passive entertainment.

10.                        Be careful of the attitude, “everyone is doing it.”  Whether we are talking about meds for our “ADHD” child or marijuana smoking for our 15 year old,  everyone is NOT doing it, and neither does your child have to.

11.                        Even though your child might be 16, you still have the right to have expectations and set limits.  They want to get their license?  You are perfectly within your rights to go to CVS and buy the drug testing kit.  IF they test positive, then NO, they should not be driving and you should NOT be signing their application for their driver’s license.  If they have their license already and are testing positive, yes, you can take away the car keys, until they test negative, even if it’s their car.  Your job as parent isn’t done yet and they do have to follow your expectations, if you actually expect them to.

12.                        Talk to them.  Does your child seem “off?”  Keep the dialog open.  Maybe this is a little off topic, but I will never forget this experience.  I was working for DCF (formerly DSS) and sitting at the kitchen table with a mom that was reported for being passed out intoxicated while caring for her children.  She was sober when I was with her at her.  Her daughter (elementary age) got off the bus and came in the house sad.  Her mom lovingly asked how her day was and since she looked sad, asked if she was ok.  The young girl opened up about how she had been teased on the bus.  Her mom sincerely said, “I’m so sorry that happened.” She gave her daughter a hug and asked her to tell her about it.  The girl opened up.  ~That’s an anti-drug campaign right there!  Teach a child to open up and share their feelings.  Give them the time and space and attention to let them know that you really care.  The mom didn’t need to fix it for her.  She needed to validate her feelings.  A job well done by a mom who was drowning her own feelings in the bottle.

13.                         Do everything possible to keep your marriage strong.  The research is clear that children of divorce are more vulnerable to difficulties with drugs and alcohol.

14.                        Keep all medication secure.  People are robbing houses to get to meds.  Teens and even children are looking in their parents/friend’s parents medicine cabinet for drugs.  Consider WHICH meds your feel need to be secured and secure them.  Buy an “ammo can” or other suitable, lockable case.  But furthermore, tuck it away in a closet somewhere that the kids won’t even be asking, “What’s in that box?”  Not that I’m generally classifying these things together, but use the box for other things that the children should not have access to; sex toys, “adult” movies and video games, books, etc.  Don’t create a situation for yourself where you have to explain.

15.                        Set a pattern of family dinners and keep them going.  Studies show that children that experience pleasant meals and interaction during family dinners are less likely to use drugs and alcohol (or engage in sex).

16.                        Know your kids friends and their parents.  Make it clear to other parents, “You see my kid doing the wrong thing, I want to know about it!”  A wise friend once said, “I don’t expect that my kids aren’t going to do the wrong thing, I just pray that they get caught quickly.”

17.                        I’m going to throw up!  Teach your child that they always have your permission to stand up for what is right, but that sometimes it is hard.  If they find themselves in one of those hard spots and don’t know how to get out of it, tell them that it is one of the only times they have your permission to lie.  Tell their friends, “I don’t feel so good.  I think I’m going to throw up.  I better call my mom/dad.”

18.                        Get your child involved in Scouting.  Studies show that youth who are or once were involved in Girl Scouts or Boy Scouts are less likely to use drugs and alcohol than their peers who were not involved.

19.                        Keep the dialog going.  Start early talking to your children about their amazing brain and their amazing body.  Encourage them to take good care of it.  From the fact that they get practice teeth and for the rest of their life teeth, to the foods on their plate, the number of jumping jacks they can do and the academic progress they are making…praise them and praise their body and mind.

20.                        It will never lead to something good.  When examples present themselves, as they will, of the destructive effects of drugs and alcohol, use them as opportunities for straightforward discussions.  It’s not good to be wishy-washy OR silent on these matters that we know our children are witnessing.

I hope you have taken at least a couple of things from this list of 20 that you can focus on and use more actively.  You may have more ideas.  Please post them for all of us here.

If I can be of any assistance with issues like this in your life, please contact me.  As I said in my last post, I am not anti meds for children.  But I will say, I have a lot of tricks up my sleeve as alternatives to meds.  I have helped a great many families stabilize difficult behavioral and emotional symptoms over just a 6 week period.

****I am not a physician or medical professional.  None of the advice here should be construed as medical advice or take the place of a visit to your doctor where called for.

Tracy Lamperti, LMHC, BCETS

If you would like more information or a consultation, please go to  www.tracylamperti.com. 

Tracy Lamperti, LMHC, BCETS
Psychotherapist, Educator, Consultant

My Blog
My Website
lamperticc@gmail.com
774-722-5919 

By: Joan Walsh

Librarian of Congress, James H. Billington named Kate DiCamillo, Newbery Medal Award-winner and honoree, National Ambassador for Young People’s Literature, 2014 and 2015.
 
Kate DiCamillo, an outstanding advocate for the importance of reading, is the author of "Because of Winn-Dixie" (a Newbery Honor book), "A Tiger Rising" (a National Book Award finalist), "The Tale of Despereaux" (2003 Newbery Medal winner) and "The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane" (winner of the Boston Globe Horn Book Award), and "Flora & Ulysses.” During Kate’s tenure, she will appear throughout the country at events with young people, encouraging them to make reading a central part of their lives.
 
Regards,
Joan Walsh
 
jwalsh@capecodhouses.com
http://www.capecodchildrenswriters.com

by Tracy Lamperti, LMHC, BCETS
I am guessing that there are MANY mommies following that remember the slogan, “Just say no!”

There are lots of social/emotional reasons that make just saying no to drugs difficult, like peer pressure and the fact that studies consistently show that children of divorce/conflict ridden or detached homes are more likely to reach for drugs and alcohol.

But today, we see a host of other factors that make “Just Say No” a mixed up message for children.

1.      The psychopharm world has EXPLODED with new drugs, a higher rate of prescribing drugs, a claim that drug “cocktails” (interesting choice of terms) can help people with the emotional issues.  And bonus, kids on meds make the lives of parents and teachers “easier.”

2.     CHILDREN are the target of psychopharm companies.  Approximately 11% of children 4-17 years of age (6.4 million) have been diagnosed with ADHD as of 2011.  More than 80% of children who are diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder take prescription medications at some point to treat their symptoms, according to a new nationwide survey of parents by Consumer Reports Health.  More than half had tried 2 or 3 different meds. (Citations at end of post.)  My colleague, RN NP informs me that the authorization process for med visits is practically non-existent.  I can tell you that the authorization process for psychotherapy is arduous.  In fact, when I request session for practically any diagnosis these days, I have to answer to the question, “Have you referred the client for a med consult?”  And if the answer is no, then I have to answer, “When do you plan to?” or “Why not?”

3.     The DARE program is basically gone.  As a psychotherapist, I used to see many children who were able to articulate that drugs are bad for you, BECAUSE of what they learned in school in the DARE program.  Studies indicate that there was a so-called “boomerang effect” and the program led to a higher incidence of drug use among youth later in life who participated in the program.

4.     Drug/alcohol use has seen a cultural shift where we now think of it NOT as a weakness, morally wrong thing to do, issue to be embarrassed about…but as an “illness” or a “genetic disorder.”  Our children are getting the message, “poor guy (girl).  It’s not their fault.”  Interestingly, we are also hearing children who missed their morning dose for ADHD and misbehave, say, “It’s not my fault.  My mom forgot to give me my meds.”

5.     We are required to have insurance, so why not use it?  We tend to run to the doc for medicine before even giving our bodies a chance at healing illnesses.  We don’t slow down and take care of ourselves or our loved one, we reach for a pill to get back to our fast pace as quickly as possible, or get our children back to school so we can get back to work.  These are practical needs these days.  Who can afford to miss work??

6.     Marijuana, a drug known for causing “the munchies,” uproarious laughter, dulling of our senses, laziness, etc., is being legalized one bit at a time, one area at a time.  Many adults haven’t even gotten it clear in their own mind about whether it should be legal or not and under what circumstances, but somehow we are supposed to help our children understand and teach them not to do it.  Huh??

7.     Speaking of marijuana, a parents smokes up in the house with the children present, the Department of Children and Families (formerly DSS) gets involved (I’m speaking from professional experience now) and the parent doesn’t even get a clear message, “That’s not permitted!  At least smoke in private, away from your children.”  Yet, other states are making it illegal to smoke cigarettes in the car when a child is present.

8.     And the courts…(again, speaking from professional experience) are ruling on custody matters as serious as parents giving birth to drug addicted babies, and parents addicted to and abusing Suboxone (or methadone – sub in any drug you want).    And what about when the parent in question is taking Suboxone as prescribed at “the clinic.”  Or how can the judge tell if they are taking it per doctor’s orders, in addition to on the street?

We, as parents, as a culture, are being pressured to accept drugs (and alcohol) and their abuse as part of our everyday lives!  It’s a steady race to the bottom and this country might just be in the running for a top spot.

Now, for those who are going to accuse me of blaming them because either they are taking prescription medication or their children are taking it for a mental health diagnosis, I have the following to say:

 I am not anti-meds.  I have seen adults who were debilitated with anxiety or depression or other issues, begin seeing a psychiatrist or PCP and take medication.  They were able to stabilize, regroup and get their life back on track.  I am grateful for this and grateful for the option to be utilized.  I have seen children who are so out of focus or anxious and in crisis that medication has been instrumental in keeping them in school and helping them and their parents regroup. 

I am referring here to a cultural shift that has already taken place and continuing to progress toward reliance on doctors, psychopharm companies, medications, etc.  I know there is a huge fascination with zombies presently.  I can’t figure that out either.  It’s looking to me like we are moving more and more to being like zombies or robots and forgetting that what seems at first glance like the smoother-easier route, is really just our participating unwittingly in the race to the bottom.

Next week:

Tracy Lamperti, LMHC, BCETS

If you would like more information or a consultation, please go to  www.tracylamperti.com. 

Tracy Lamperti, LMHC, BCETS
Psychotherapist, Educator, Consultant

My Blog
My Website
lamperticc@gmail.com
774-722-5919
 
http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/data.html

http://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/childhood-adhd/news/20100720/most-kids-with-adhd-take-medication

This program was awarded a congressional Citation in 2012 by Congressman Keating.

The specifics: CONCERT: February 14th, 2014 at the Tilden Arts Center, C.C. Community College,  Hyannis at 7:00 -9:30 PM.  Tickets $5.00 students / $10.00 adults  at the door.

BENEFITING: Cape veterans by fully funding a summer "Stand Down" program organized by Duffy Health Center and the Veterans' Outreach Center.  Their program brings 35 agencies to the Campus of Cape Cod Academy for a day of free services for vets.  We are also expanding our contributions to the Cape Cod Council of Churches’ homeless programs and local food pantries.

Background:  Kids involved: We've been working with Dance Designs and the Beth Walsh Dance Troop - and with several big dance numbers now part of our program, we involve at least 90 dancers alone. Throw in the Conservatory and several bands as well as individual acts from participating schools... and then our CCA production crew and the extra hands the bands bring and the total involvement of young people approaches 200. The 2013 concert also featured a band from Brazil and a dance troop from India, traveling here at their own expense to be a part of the Shelter experience and to bring some ideas home with them.

Money raised: Our first concert fed the Noah Shelter for 4 months.   In order to finance the Stand Down program for our veterans and support  various local homeless relief efforts, we'll need to raise around 15,000 dollars this year, exceeding what the concert raised last year. We've raised over 50 thousand dollars in the first 6 years, doing better each year.  We are grateful to our donors: individuals, local businesses, banks and foundations.

Consciousness raised: The Shelter concert has become a kind of bull's eye - a focal point for not only raising money but for directing public attention to serious local needs. Local media, both print and radio, have been very generous. In each case, we get to talk about the central purpose of our efforts, to house the homeless and now: to assist our local veterans. Regarding our veterans, 26% of the nation's homeless population are veterans who've served our country. A veteran is taking his own life every 80 minutes now. The Shelter project gets all these kids helping and starting conversations all over the Cape.   Our organizers and performers know they are changing lives (even saving lives) with what they do. Certainly, some of the lives that are changed are their own.

Organizations & Contact info.: CAPE COD ACADEMY is a private school, pre-K through 12 with a deep tradition of public service.  The concert organizers are members of People-to-People International and the Barnstable County Human Rights Academy.  CONTACT Lawrence Brown, CCA, faculty & Concert Director at 508-428-5400 at Cape Cod Academy, 508-771-5096 at home evenings.   

Duffy Health Center: The mission of the Duffy Health Center is to provide caring, comprehensive health care and support services to those who are homeless and at risk of homelessness on Cape Cod, and to be a catalyst for individual empowerment and community solutions to homelessness. Duffy provides actual treatment & counseling for substance abuse & psychological problems — and basic medical care for the homeless. 104 Park Street, Hyannis, MA 02601 (508) 771-7517                         

Vietnam Veterans Outreach Center: Offers a wide array of services for veterans including case work and serves as a conduit to additional local services when needed.  The center also serves as a social center for area vets and operates an ambitious food pantry as well.  94 Main Street Hyannis, MA  02601  (508) 771-9599

COME TO THE CONCERT!  Bring your family.  It’s one of the artistic highlights of the year – and you’ll leave feeling terrific!    That’s a promise.

We’ve got around 200 young people from schools across Cape Cod collaborating on this, as performers, organizers, stage hands and ushers.  They’ve picked the vets and the homeless as deserving of their efforts.  PLEASE BE A CONTRIBUTER.  This is a beautiful thing to be a part of.  100% of donations go to programs, no overhead.

WE’LL GET YOU PUBLIC RECOGNITION IF YOU REQUEST IT. Businesses and “god-parent” donors ($1,000 and up) are listed on a full-color overhead screen projection that continues on a loop before the program, during intermission and afterwards. 

Please make checks out to Cape Cod Academy, noted as “Shelter.”

CONTACT: Lawrence Brown, Cape Cod Academy    omamerica1@gmail.com    508-428-5400

By: Gary M. DellaPosta, CPA

Welcome 2014! As the new year rolls around, it's always a sure bet that there will be changes to the current tax law and 2014 is no different. From health savings accounts to retirement contributions and standard deductions, here's a checklist of tax changes to help you plan the year ahead.

Filing Season Delayed by 10 Days 
Taxpayers should note that the 2014 tax season opens on Jan. 31, 2014.

In most years, the filing season opens on Jan. 21; however, due to the 16-day government shutdown that took place in October 2013, the filing season is delayed by 10 days this year. No returns, paper or electronic, will be processed by the IRS before this date.

The April 15 tax deadline is set by statute and will remain in place, although taxpayers can request an automatic six-month extension to file their tax return. 

Individuals For 2014, more than 40 tax provisions are affected by inflation adjustments, including personal exemptions, AMT exemption amounts, and foreign earned income exclusion, as well as most retirement contribution limits.

For 2014, the tax rate structure, which ranges from 10 to 39.6 percent, remains the same as in 2013, but tax-bracket thresholds increase for each filing status. Standard deductions and the personal exemption have also been adjusted upward to reflect inflation. For details see the article, "Tax Brackets, Deductions, and Exemptions for 2014," below.

Alternative Minimum Tax (AMT)
Exemption amounts for the AMT, which was made permanent by the American Taxpayer Relief Act (ATRA) are indexed for inflation and allow the use of nonrefundable personal credits against the AMT. For 2014, the exemption amounts are $52,800 for individuals ($51,900 in 2013) and $82,100 for married couples filing jointly ($80,800 in 2013).

"Kiddie Tax" 
For taxable years beginning in 2014, the amount that can be used to reduce the net unearned income reported on the child's return that is subject to the "kiddie tax," is $1,000 (same as 2013). The same $1,000 amount is used to determine whether a parent may elect to include a child's gross income in the parent's gross income and to calculate the "kiddie tax". For example, one of the requirements for the parental election is that a child's gross income for 2014 must be more than $1,000 but less than $10,000.

For 2014, the net unearned income for a child under the age of 19 (or a full-time student under the age of 24) that is not subject to "kiddie tax" is $2,000.

Health Savings Accounts (HSAs) 
Contributions to a Health Savings Account (HSA) are used to pay current or future medical expenses of the account owner, his or her spouse, and any qualified dependent. Medical expenses must not be reimbursable by insurance or other sources and do not qualify for the medical expense deduction on a federal income tax return.

A qualified individual must be covered by a High Deductible Health Plan (HDHP) and not be covered by other health insurance with the exception of insurance for accidents, disability, dental care, vision care, or long-term care.

For calendar year 2014, a qualifying HDHP must have a deductible of at least $1,250 for self-only coverage or $2,500 for family coverage (unchanged from 2013) and must limit annual out-of-pocket expenses of the beneficiary to $6,350 for self-only coverage (up $100 from 2013) and $12,700 for family coverage (up $200 from 2013).

Medical Savings Accounts (MSAs) 
There are two types of Medical Savings Accounts (MSAs): the Archer MSA created to help self-employed individuals and employees of certain small employers, and the Medicare Advantage MSA, which is also an Archer MSA, and is designated by Medicare to be used solely to pay the qualified medical expenses of the account holder. To be eligible for a Medicare Advantage MSA, you must be enrolled in Medicare. Both MSAs require that you are enrolled in a high deductible health plan (HDHP).



Self-only coverage. For taxable years beginning in 2014, the term "high deductible health plan" means, for self-only coverage, a health plan that has an annual deductible that is not less than $2,200 (up $50 from 2013) and not more than $3,250 (up $50 from 2013), and under which the annual out-of-pocket expenses required to be paid (other than for premiums) for covered benefits do not exceed $4,350 (up $50 from 2013).

Family coverage. For taxable years beginning in 2014, the term "high deductible health plan" means, for family coverage, a health plan that has an annual deductible that is not less than $4,350 (up $50 from 2013) and not more than $6,550 (up $100 from 2013), and under which the annual out-of-pocket expenses required to be paid (other than for premiums) for covered benefits do not exceed $8,000 (up $150 from 2013).


AGI Limit for Deductible Medical Expenses
In 2014, the deduction threshold for deductible medical expenses remains at 10 percent (same as 2013, but up from 7.5 percent in 2012) of adjusted gross income (AGI); however, if either you or your spouse were age 65 or older as of December 31, 2013, the new 10 percent of AGI threshold will not take effect until 2017. In other words, the 7.5 percent threshold continues to apply for tax years 2013 to 2016 for these individuals. In addition, if you or your spouse turns age 65 in 2014, 2015, or 2016, the 7.5 percent of AGI threshold applies for that year through 2016 as well. Starting in 2017, the 10 percent of AGI threshold applies to everyone.

Eligible Long-Term Care Premiums 
Premiums for long-term care are treated the same as health care premiums and are deductible on your taxes subject to certain limitations. For individuals age 40 or younger at the end of 2014, the limitation is $370. Persons more than 40 but not more than 50 can deduct $700. Those more than 50 but not more than 60 can deduct $1,400, while individuals more than 60 but not more than 70 can deduct $3,720. The maximum deduction $4,660 and applies to anyone more than 70 years of age.

Medicare Taxes 
The additional 0.9 percent Medicare tax on wages above $200,000 for individuals ($250,000 married filing jointly), which became effective last year, in 2013, remains in effect for 2014, as does the Medicare tax of 3.8 percent on investment (unearned) income for single taxpayers with modified adjusted gross income (AGI) more than $200,000 ($250,000 joint filers). Investment income includes dividends, interest, rents, royalties, gains from the disposition of property, and certain passive activity income. Estates, trusts and self-employed individuals are all liable for the new tax.

Foreign Earned Income Exclusion 
For 2014, the foreign earned income exclusion amount is $99,200, up from $97,600 in 2013.

Long-Term Capital Gains and Dividends
In 2014 tax rates on capital gains and dividends remain the same as 2013 rates; however threshold amounts are indexed for inflation. As such, for taxpayers in the lower tax brackets (10 and 15 percent), the rate remains 0 percent. For taxpayers in the four middle tax brackets, 25, 28, 33, and 35 percent, the rate is 15 percent. For an individual taxpayer in the highest tax bracket, 39.6 percent, whose income is at or above $406,750 ($457,600 married filing jointly), the rate for both capital gains and dividends is capped at 20 percent.

Pease and PEP (Personal Exemption Phaseout) 
Both Pease (limitations on itemized deductions) and PEP (personal exemption phase-out) have been permanently extended (and indexed to inflation) for taxable years beginning after December 31, 2012, and in 2014, affect taxpayers with income at or below $254,200 for single filers and $305,050 for married filing jointly.

Estate and Gift Taxes 
For an estate of any decedent during calendar year 2014, the basic exclusion amount is $5,340,000, indexed for inflation (up from $5,250,000 2013). The maximum tax rate remains at 40 percent. The annual exclusion for gifts also remains at $14,000.

Individuals - Tax Credits
Adoption Credit 
In 2014, a non-refundable (only those individuals with tax liability will benefit) credit of up to $13,190 is available for qualified adoption expenses for each eligible child.

Earned Income Tax Credit 
For tax year 2014, the maximum earned income tax credit (EITC) for low and moderate income workers and working families rises to $6,143, up from $6,044 in 2013. The credit varies by family size, filing status and other factors, with the maximum credit going to joint filers with three or more qualifying children.

Child Tax Credit 
For tax year 2014, the child tax credit is $1,000 per child.

Child and Dependent Care Credit
If you pay someone to take care of your dependent (defined as being under the age of 13 at the end of the tax year or incapable of self-care) in order to work or look for work, you may qualify for a credit of up to $1,050 or 35 percent of $3,000 of eligible expenses in 2014. For two or more qualifying dependents, you can claim up to 35 percent of $6,000 (or $2,100) of eligible expenses. For higher income earners the credit percentage is reduced, but not below 20 percent, regardless of the amount of adjusted gross income.

Individuals - Education
American Opportunity Tax Credit and Lifetime Learning Credits 
The American Opportunity Tax Credit (formerly Hope Scholarship Credit) was extended to the end of 2017 by ATRA. The maximum credit is $2,500 per student. The Lifetime Learning Credit remains at $2,000 per return.

Interest on Educational Loans 
In 2014 (as in 2013), the $2,500 maximum deduction for interest paid on student loans is no longer limited to interest paid during the first 60 months of repayment. The deduction is phased out for higher-income taxpayers with modified AGI of more than $65,000 ($130,000 joint filers).

Individuals - Retirement
Contribution Limits 
The elective deferral (contribution) limit for employees who participate in 401(k), 403(b), most 457 plans, and the federal government's Thrift Savings Plan remains unchanged at $17,500. Contribution limits for SIMPLE plans remains unchanged at $12,000. The maximum compensation used to determine contributions increases to $260,000 (up $5,000 from 2013).

Income Phase-out Ranges 
The deduction for taxpayers making contributions to a traditional IRA is phased out for singles and heads of household who are covered by an employer-sponsored retirement plan and have modified AGI between $60,000 and $70,000, up from $59,000 and $69,000 in 2013.

For married couples filing jointly, in which the spouse who makes the IRA contribution is covered by an employer-sponsored retirement plan, the phase-out range is $96,000 to $116,000, up from $95,000 to $115,000. For an IRA contributor who is not covered by an employer-sponsored retirement plan and is married to someone who is covered, the deduction is phased out if the couple's modified AGI is between $181,000 and $191,000, up from $178,000 and $188,000.

The modified AGI phase-out range for taxpayers making contributions to a Roth IRA is $181,000 to $191,000 for married couples filing jointly, up from $178,000 to $188,000 in 2013. For singles and heads of household, the income phase-out range is $114,000 to $129,000, up from $112,000 to $127,000. For a married individual filing a separate return who is covered by a retirement plan, the phase-out range remains $0 to $10,000.

Saver's Credit 
In 2014, the AGI limit for the saver's credit (also known as the retirement savings contribution credit) for low and moderate income workers is $60,000 for married couples filing jointly, up from $59,000 in 2013; $45,000 for heads of household, up from $44,250; and $30,000 for married individuals filing separately and for singles, up from $29,500.

Businesses
Standard Mileage Rates 
The rate for business miles driven is 56 cents per mile for 2014, down from 56.5 cents per mile in 2013.

Section 179 Expensing 
For 2014 the maximum Section 179 expense deduction for equipment purchases decreases to $25,000 of the first $200,000 of business property placed in service during 2014. The bonus depreciation of 50 percent is gone, as is the accelerated deduction, where businesses can expense the entire cost of qualified real property in the year of purchase.

Transportation Fringe Benefits 
If you provide transportation fringe benefits to your employees, in 2014 the maximum monthly limitation for transportation in a commuter highway vehicle as well as any transit pass is $130 down from $245 in 2013. The monthly limitation for qualified parking is $250.

While this checklist outlines important tax changes for 2014, additional changes in tax law are more than likely to arise during the year ahead.


Gary DellaPosta is a CPA and founder of the firm: Gary M DellaPosta, CPA's & Business Advisors.  A graduate of Bryant University, he is a member of the American Institute of CPA's as well as the Massachusetts Society of CPA's.  In addition to providing accounting, tax and advisory services to individuals and businesses, he also provides litigation support to attorneys and has been recognized as an expert in numerous Massachusetts' courts.  Mr. DellaPosta serves on the Board of the Barnstable County Mutual Insurance Co., where he serves on the audit, investment and employee benefit committees.  He also serves as the Treasurer of the Community Health Center of Cape Cod, is a Director at The Cooperative Bank of Cape Cod and is a former director of Eastern Bank and Plymouth Savings Bank.

By: Wendy

Have you ever felt a disconnect between your seat and the keyboard of your computer? Have you ever wanted to know just a little bit more about these machines we use everyday? We know you have some computer comfort level since you are reading this blog! Whether you are vaguely familiar with the power button on your machine or you make your own designer graphics there is always more to learn! Enter the Geek Girls to the rescue!

The Geek Girl Boston South Tech Conference (@GeekGirlTechCon) is coming up in March and we want YOU to be there! I attended as a volunteer last year and now I am an official Geek Girl. Even as a volunteer I had time to take in workshops on Google Apps, Quickbooks, get some guidance on wrangling social media with Hootsuite, refresh some of my html and css (internet coding) skills, get the low down on some Verizon toys, gain some insight into Google+ and more! All the while other workshops were whirring around – over 80 in one day, in one location, with a wide variety of expert instructors. All that while traipsing around in the rain between multiple buildings! This year all this and more is contained in one convenient building, with one large parking lot, so once you're in – you are dry and warm for the rest of the event! This year we will be at Plymouth North High School in Plymouth, MA, right off exit 5 off Route 3. Just a hop, skip and a jump to a full day of presentations and instruction on nearly everything computer related!

If what I have mentioned doesn't cover your interests, experts fly in from around the country on topics such as Adobe: Photoshop, InDesign, Elements, WordPress, Microsoft and Apple Mac software, Entrepreneurial Workshops, Social Media and Mobile Devices. Here is last year's workshop schedule.  And if all that is not enough there is a fully staffed help desk for one-on-one attention on any of these topics among vendors who have geek-ish wares to offer.

So whether you need tech support or normally are tech support this conference has something for everyone from the aspiring to the professional level geek. Come check it out on Saturday March 22nd at Plymouth North High School. 

Cape Cod Mommies is thrilled to be a proud partner sponsor of this amazing event and is able to relay a discount code to all it's readers! 


Register for the conference with the discount code CCMoms14 for 20% off admission. by March 14th. See you there!


Register Here!

Wendy Weston is a computer geek from way back when modems ran at 14.4 kbps and installing a browser took all day. A band geek throughout college while earning her degree in MSI (computer applications in business). She is a tech generalist who does a little of everything from hardware configurations, networking, web coding and social media wrangling - often times all these in any given day. Wendy is now part of the South Shore, Cape and Islands Geek Girl squad helping make all the magic happen and lives in Bourne with her family. 

Wendy Weston
Events-Admin-Geek Girl for Hire, Geek Girl℠ 
TechCons, TechEd, GeekGirlTV & Geek Girl for Hire 
contact | wendy@geekgirlcamp.com
cell | 401.451.1119

Web: GeekGirlCamp.com | GeekGirlTechCon.com