This story has been circulating on social media locally and we want to get MORE people talking about this since they only have 30 days left!!!!!

Support this local Cape Cod family and keep these boys together in a loving home with two people who love them and who want to give them the life they deserve!!!!  Come on Cape Cod, let's show just how big our hearts are and how much we all love and support one another! It takes a village!

To Donate/Read More or to Share their Story visit their website:
http://www.youcaring.com/other/three-young-brothersneed-%20a-forever-home/135485

Excerpt from their Fundraiser Website:

"We have a very short amount of time to find a home for these children. DCF is aware of our living circumstance, and because they prefer the children to be with family, they are giving us some time to find a new, safe and stable home for the children. We do not have much time to find this home, and if we do not succeed in providing a home for these beautiful children then the state might take them and they will be separated from each other and from us. This breaks our hearts.

For most of these children’s lives, they’ve never known where to call home or if they’d be returning to it at the end of the day. We want to change that. We want to give them somewhere safe to call home. We want to give them a stable, happy and loving home. A home that they know they’ll be returning to at the end of the day. We want to give them somewhere to grow where they would be unconditionally loved by the only people that have always been there for them. The only thing keeping us from giving these three boys a good life that they deserve is the lack of money in our pockets and a house that is too far from our financial reach.

We do not have much, but we do have strong faith that we are destined to have a home for these boys. They say it takes a village to raise a family and that has never been truer until now.  Faith is a very beautiful thing to have, and we know that with your help, our faith will see us through. We are reaching out and asking for any help at all. If you have five moments to spare to send your prayers our way, it will help us, it will make a difference. If you have five dollars to donate our way, it will help us; it will make a difference for all of us. We believe in miracles and we are in need of one now. We believe you can help us experience a miracle."

By: Gary M. DellaPosta, CPA

Beyond the basics of budgeting and saving, you will want to get your child involved in saving and investing. The easiest way to do this is to have the child open his or her own passbook savings account.

If you want your child to get familiar with investing, there are various child-friendly mutual funds available. The mailings from the fund can be a source of education. Or you may want to get the child interested in individual stocks.

You may want to start a "matching" program with your kids to encourage saving. For instance, for every dollar that the child puts into a savings account or investment, you might match it with 50 cents.

If you want to get your kids involved with investing, it will usually have to be done through a custodial account. There are generally two types of widely used custodial accounts-one is set up under the Uniform Gifts to Minors Act, and the other under the Uniform Transfers to Minors Act. The type of custodial account available depends on which state you live in.

With a custodial account, the child is the owner, but the custodian (usually a parent) manages the property until the child reaches the age of majority under relevant state law-either 18 or 21. The custodian must follow certain rules concerning management of the property in the account. These rules are intended to ensure that the custodian does what is in the child's best interests.

IRAs for Kids

If your child has earned income-from a paper route or baby-sitting, for example, or from working in the family business he or she can contribute earnings to an IRA. The IRA can be an extremely effective investment for a child because of the IRA's tax-deferral feature and the length of time the money is left in the IRA. If $3,000 per year is contributed to the child's IRA for ten years and the money is left to grow until the child reaches age 65, the amount in the IRA could reach $600,000 or more, depending on the returns on the investment. In 2013, your child can contribute the lesser of his or her earned income for the year or $5,500, either to a traditional IRA or a tax-free Roth IRA. The contribution limits are the same for both types of accounts.

To replace the "lost" earnings, the parents can give $3,000 per year to the child (or the amount of earned income the child has, if less). The child may have to file tax returns.

The drawback of course is that, with some exceptions, the money cannot be withdrawn before age 59-1/2 without tax penalty.

Related Guide: For tax rules on IRA withdrawals for higher education, please see the Financial Guide: HIGHER EDUCATION COSTS: How To Get The Best Tax Treatment.

Gary DellaPosta is a CPA and founder of the firm: Gary M DellaPosta, CPA's & Business Advisors.  A graduate of Bryant University, he is a member of the American Institute of CPA's as well as the Massachusetts Society of CPA's.  In addition to providing accounting, tax and advisory services to individuals and businesses, he also provides litigation support to attorneys and has been recognized as an expert in numerous Massachusetts' courts.  Mr. DellaPosta serves on the Board of the Barnstable County Mutual Insurance Co., where he serves on the audit, investment and employee benefit committees.  He also serves as the Treasurer of the Community Health Center of Cape Cod, is a Director at The Cooperative Bank of Cape Cod and is a former director of Eastern Bank and Plymouth Savings Bank.

Tonight! Lower Cape Early Childhood Council is meeting from 6:00 - 7:30 at the Cape Cod Children's Place. All are welcome!! 

Tracy Lamperti of Lamperti Counseling & Consultation, Amy from Cape Cod Mommies and Sargeant Schnitzer from theEastham Police Department will be there to add to the discussion of Social Media Etiquette and its benefits and risks. 

This is a conversation we can all benefit from. Hope to see some of you there!

3 of 4 LOVE Posts!

When You Don’t Want to be Touched
Removing Barriers

By Tracy Lamperti,
Psychotherapist, Educator, Consultant

So if touch is such an important part of connecting, and living, why do some of us not want to be touched and what can we do about it?

If we survey 100 moms of babies and toddlers, the top answers given for not wanting to be touched would probably be something like;

·       I’ve been big and pregnant for 4 years (says the mother of 3 children under 5).

·       I’m nursing.

·       I’m working on like…., no sleep.

·       I’M TIRED!

All very valid reasons!

The guys are thinking, well, I guess she’s right.  All these things are true.  They may feel very generous, having “sacrificed” their needs and desires because of these very valid reasons.  They cope and try to be patient.

The woman, often trying to stay in her comfort zone, shuts down her passionate side, partly just naturally, because of those very valid reasons, but partly because she doesn’t want to send any messages to the man that there may be an open door. 

Then we have a classic conflict emerging of, the woman feeling like the man doesn’t support her by just loving her, rubbing her shoulders, holding her hand, talking, etc. and feeling like any touch, flattery or nice gesture by him is an attempt to get his way for sex.  The man feels like he is being totally rejected, can’t do anything right, and his needs must just be stuffed elsewhere until another phase of life.

The children are intermingled in everything.  Daily life is centered around their needs, on the odd chance that the couple get a chance for a date, there are calls to check in, or the conversation just continually gravitates to the child issues.  The baby and often even toddlers are wedged between mom and dad in the “family bed.”

These are all classic dynamics of an emotional/physical split between man and woman.  But more on that in the final post next week.

Let’s explore some other reasons for not wanting to be touched or intimate.

1.   One of the top reasons for not wanting to be touched and not wanting to be intimate is a history of sexual abuse as a child or sexual misuse or assault as a teenager.  While it is true that some people who have these experiences respond by being hypersexual and developing sexual addictions, the first scenario is more prevalent.

a.   You CAN overcome this issue!  The perpetrator TOOK your innocence, your voice, your body, for a time.  With work, self-love and love from others, you can take it back.  The perpetrator does not have to have the power to take your pleasure, passion and enjoyment for your own body OR your intimate relationship with your spouse.  Your body has so much to offer you.  Take it back!

b.   Seek support from a qualified psychotherapist.  Look for a therapist who is interested in you becoming a complete person, individual, wife, mother…rather than one who wants to support you as a stuck victim.  You will remain stuck if this is the type of therapist you choose.  The therapist should also be qualified in working with sexual intimacy issues.  If they are not, you may need to look for a different therapist or two therapists who compliment each other.  A therapist who believes that a marriage should be a sexless marriage while you work on yourself for the next 6 months to 6 years should be able to recommend a good divorce lawyer as well.  If the therapist is telling you that your husband has no right to expect anything of you during your “healing,” you are with the wrong therapist.  A good husband, with a little guidance and support, can be the best part of your healing.

Ok. So that’s the big one, right off the top.

2.   Second big one, you are married to a narcissist or someone who is abusive.  Most women I know don’t like violent, aggressive, or demanded sex.  If you are in this type of relationship, please reach out for help with a professional.  You are at risk and your children are at risk as well.

Ok. That’s #2 biggie.  Now let’s bring it down to every-day humdrum.

3.   You’re body is not what it was in high school.  It’s a reality that women go through body changes with age, pregnancy and birth, nursing, etc.  It’s a myth that you are destined to a life of being 20 pounds over your pre-pregnancy weight, and adding 10 every year after.  It’s hard to feel good in your body when you aren’t treating your body right.  If you are self-conscious about how your body looks (of course, I’m not talking about someone with a body distortion disorder), it’s likely that you won’t feel like showing it bare naked to even your spouse.  Best course of action…Get walking!  Buy a $10 pedometer and challenge yourself to 10,000 steps a day.  Walking has tons of physical and mental health benefits and it will spur you on to do other good things for yourself.

4.   Your husband’s body is, well….not what it used to be.  He might not care, but if you do, you are allowed to invite him walking. :)

5.   Too many “i” things.  If everyone is in front of a screen, you’ve drifted apart.  Get out the cards.  He’d be into strip poker.  Sorry.  Just sayin’, there are options.  If you aren’t doing much in the way of intimate non-sexual things, don’t expect that your intimate sexual relationship is going to be soaring.

6.   Too touchy or not touchy enough.  Maybe you or he haven’t been vocal enough about what you both like.  Devote a couple of dates to talking about intimacy.  Be a very good listener.  It’s ok to be specific.

7.   Depression is a very big arousal and touch buster.  Try to work to find the root and get professional support if you feel stuck in it.

8.   Anger and unforgiveness is also a wall that comes between a couple.  It will inevitably kill the passion that could be between the two of you.  Who wants to touch someone they are mad at?

9.   Other outlets like pornography and affairs are obvious barriers to intimacy.

10. Medications can be a cause of not wanting to be touched, and they can also be the cause of inhibited arousal.  Check on any medications that you are taking if this is an issue.

1 of 4 – Parents and Valentine’s Day

2 of 4 – The Importance of Touch

2 of 4 – Removing Barriers to Open Ourselves to Love

4 of 4 – Couples Love

Tracy Lamperti, LMHC, BCETS

If you would like more information or a consultation, please go to  www.tracylamperti.com. 

Tracy Lamperti, LMHC, BCETS
Psychotherapist, Educator, Consultant

My Blog
My Website
lamperticc@gmail.com
774-722-5919 

By: Gary M. DellaPosta, CPA
Thanks to the passage of the American Taxpayer Relief Act of 2012 (ATRA) in January 2013, several tax provisions were extended through 2013 that are of benefit to taxpayers filing 2013 returns this year. Here are six of them:

1. Mortgage Insurance Deductible as Qualified Interest ATRA extended, through 2013 (and retroactive to 2012), a tax provision that expired in 2011 that allows taxpayers to deduct mortgage insurance premiums as qualified residence interest. As such, taxpayers can deduct, as qualified residence interest, mortgage insurance premiums paid or accrued before Jan. 1, 2014, subject to a phase-out based on the taxpayer's AGI.

2. Limited Non-Business Energy Property Credits Non-business energy credits expired in 2011, but were extended (retroactive to 2012) through 2013 by ATRA. For 2013 (as in 2011 and 2012), this credit generally equals 10 percent of what a homeowner spends on eligible energy-saving improvements, up to a maximum tax credit of $500 (down significantly from the $1,500 combined limit that applied for 2009 and 2010).

Because of the way the credit is figured however, in many cases, it may only be helpful to people who made energy-saving home improvements for the first time in 2013. That's because homeowners must first subtract any non-business energy property credits claimed on their 2006, 2007, 2009, 2010, 2011, and 2012 returns before claiming this credit for 2013. In other words, if a taxpayer claimed a credit of $450 in 2012, the maximum credit that can be claimed in 2013 is $50 (for an aggregate of $500).

The cost of certain high-efficiency heating and air conditioning systems, water heaters and stoves that burn biomass all qualify, along with labor costs for installing these items. In addition, the cost of energy-efficient windows and skylights, energy-efficient doors, qualifying insulation and certain roofs also qualify for the credit, though the cost of installing these items do not.

3. State and Local Sales Taxes ATRA also extended, through 2013, (and retroactive to 2012) the tax provision that allows taxpayers who itemize deductions the option to deduct state and local general sales and use taxes instead of state and local income taxes.

4. Simplified Home Office Deduction Starting with their 2013 tax return, taxpayers who claim deductions for business use of a home ("the home office deduction") now have another option. Taxpayers claiming the home office deduction are generally required to fill out a 43-line form (Form 8829) often with complex calculations of allocated expenses, depreciation and carryovers of unused deductions.

Taxpayers claiming the optional deduction will complete a significantly simplified form. The new optional deduction is capped at $1,500 per year based on $5 per square foot for up to 300 square feet. Give us a call if you'd like more information on the simplified home office deduction for 2013.

5. Same-Sex Marriage If you have a same-sex spouse whom you legally married in a state (or foreign country) that recognizes same-sex marriage, you and your spouse generally must use the married filing jointly or married filing separately filing status on your 2013 return, even if you and your spouse now live in a state (or foreign country) that does not recognize same-sex marriage.

If you meet certain requirements, you may be able to file amended returns to change your filing status for some earlier years. Please contact our office if you need to file an amended return or have any other questions.

6. Transportation "Fringe Benefits "ATRA reinstated parity for transportation fringe benefits provided by employers for the benefit of their employees in 2013 (retroactive to 2012). As such, the monthly limit for qualified parking is $250 and the benefit for transportation in a commuter highway vehicle or a transit pass is $245 for tax year 2013.

Gary DellaPosta is a CPA and founder of the firm: Gary M DellaPosta, CPA's & Business Advisors.  A graduate of Bryant University, he is a member of the American Institute of CPA's as well as the Massachusetts Society of CPA's.  In addition to providing accounting, tax and advisory services to individuals and businesses, he also provides litigation support to attorneys and has been recognized as an expert in numerous Massachusetts' courts.  Mr. DellaPosta serves on the Board of the Barnstable County Mutual Insurance Co., where he serves on the audit, investment and employee benefit committees.  He also serves as the Treasurer of the Community Health Center of Cape Cod, is a Director at The Cooperative Bank of Cape Cod and is a former director of Eastern Bank and Plymouth Savings Bank.

Have you visited Mommy & Me in downtown Falmouth?  
They sell beautiful designer baby & children's clothing and accessories at a fraction of the retail price! 

For the month of February they are holding a Winter Clothing Clearance Event! Items with tags marked in red are 40% off! Additional items will be marked down in the weeks ahead as they need to make room for Spring inventory!!

Mommy & Me carries Quality clothing sizes from Preemie - Juniors 14/16, & Maternity too! They also have all kinds of baby equipment, books & toys! There is even a play area for the kids while Mom shops. Consignments accepted by appointment only.

Mommy & Me is located in Historic Downtown Falmouth at 1 Locust Street, Just off Main Street, near the Village Green. On RT 28 towards Woods Hole. Parking is in the rear.

If you are looking to consign your gently used items? Give them a call to set-up an appointment! All items must be in working order with batteries if needed, clean, stain-free, no rips, holes or tears. They take sizes from preemie up to pre-teen. They will also take all baby gear, toys, books, games, DVD's, etc. No more than 25 items at a time, appointments book up fast so plan ahead (usually a month or more out). 

Phone(774) 255-1375 Email mommyandmecapecod@gmail.com

By: Suzanne Golden, M.S., CCC-SLP

Winter time is still here…. and still hitting us hard!   Not only are we getting hit with snow, but germs are wreaking havoc this year too leaving many of us with coughs, colds and stomach bugs!  If your family is anything like ours, we are definitely keeping the physicians in business around here lately.  This also means we are spending plenty of time waiting.  We are waiting in the physician’s waiting room.  We are waiting to pick up prescriptions.  We are waiting to feel better! 

Here are some of the language-based games we play while trying to avoid coming in contact with more germs in the doctor’s waiting room!  

I Spy

-Pick an object in the room and describe it to the other person using various characteristics of shape, size, color, etc…

Rhyme Time

-Choose a word and take turns saying words that rhyme with it until you run out of words!

Categories

-Choose a category and take turns naming items that fit in to the category until you run out of ideas

I’m thinking of an animal… 

-Pick and animal and give clues until the other person guesses the animal

Tell a story

-One person starts a story with one sentence.  The other person then continues with one sentence.  Continue alternating by adding one sentence to the story at a time!

If you have played all of these games and you are still waiting…  maybe you could try doing a “spring dance” to bring in some nice weather and hopefully get rid of these germs! 

If you are concerned about your child’s language development call Golden Speech Therapy and schedule a free screening! 
 
Golden Speech Therapy
Suzanne Golden, M.S., CCC-SLP
Contact Info:
781-603-8529
www.goldenspeechtherapy.com
www.facebook.com/goldenspeechtherapy

This is part of our PTSD series by Melissa.

By: Melissa Thurber

I am a mother of 2 amazing children.  My daughter is 12 and my son is 6.  I absolutely love them with all of my heart and would do anything to make sure they have a loving and caring mother to be by their side. 

As I have stated in a previous post, I have PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) from my deployment to Iraq in 2003 until 2005.  PTSD makes you feel like you want to disassociate yourself from the world.  It causes frustration, depression, isolation, insomnia, anger outbursts, anxiety, and a multitude of other symptoms.  It can make you feel like something bad is always going to happen.  PTSD also brings about a symptom that I wish did not exist.  It is almost impossible to feel emotions like someone without PTSD would.

It is VERY hard to be a parent with PTSD.  Before I left for Iraq, I used to always let my daughter be a kid who needs to learn to fall and get back up.  I used to let her run free on playgrounds while I watched, and guided her in areas that may not be age appropriate, but we all (as parents) want to let our kids push the limits to see how well they do!   Now, I don’t even take my children to the park, my husband does.  My son is a very hyper child who loves to be a boy and play swords, climb things, get dirty, run around like crazy, and just be a boy!  I can’t watch him do these things because I am ALWAYS fearful with everything he does that he is going to get hurt.  I was never like this in the past like I said, but now it is something that affects me greatly. 

I am pretty sure that everyone experiences a form or anxiety at some point in their lives.  Some of you multiple times and some live with anxiety disorders.  With PTSD, your anxiety never goes away.  Loud noises WILL trigger anxiety.  Fluctuation in a person’s voice with an uncertain tone, crowds, stores, and the list goes on and on.  For me even a question from my children while I am in the middle of doing something will cause anxiety.  It is a hard thing to deal with.  I have to put myself in “Time Outs” like we do to our children because the anxiety will get that bad and what happens with high anxiety levels?  Anger.

If I don’t step away during an anxiety attack and just breathe for a few minutes, my anxiety can turn into an unwanted anger.  I hate to admit it but my children have been on the receiving end of this anger.  Up until a few years ago I had a hard time distinguishing when the anxiety would turn to anger.  I would yell at my kids at the top of my lungs for just being kids.  My husband would step in and scold me for getting mad at the kids which in turn would cause more anger.  I believe he would do it so that my anger would be redirected at him.  Now, I can recognize (after a lot of VERY HARD WORK) when this anxiety could turn into anger.  I step away now BEFORE I get angry.  And in turn, my children don’t get scolded or feel unloved by my actions.  This does not mean I don’t struggle with snapping at them from time to time and not being as attentive as I should be.  I still struggle every day to NOT snap at my kids when chaos ensues.

Then there is depression.  Depression MAJORLY affects your ability to parent.  When I get in my depressed modes (I still have yet to figure out how to get out of the funks) all I want to do is hide in my room and do nothing.  I just want to curl up into a ball in my bed and put on the television and zone out on Netflix.  I don’t want to be bothered.  I don’t want those sweet hugs from my children and husband. (Fortunately I have a loving and caring husband who when he is home allows me to have my alone time.) What I do though, is put on a good front.  If Blake comes in and says, “Mommy can I give you a hug?” I always say, “Of course” and give him a hug.  Is it wanted?  I always want hugs from my children, but sometime not at that very moment.  Do I hate my child because I do not want to show affection?  Absolutely NOT.  I love them with all of my heart.

I’m sure some of you are reading this and thinking to yourselves, WOW this mother is heartless.  Trust me, I think that too.  But here is what I do to make sure my CHILDREN don’t think that.  I fake it until I make it.  That is right.  Fake it.  I play with my kids and keep all the anxiety balled up inside until I have time to decompress at night.  I give hugs when Im depressed because THEY don’t deserve a crappy mother.  I walk away when my anxiety gets too much because Delanie and Blake do not need to be yelled at for being kids.  And, I tuck them in at night to make sure they both know how much I love them, even if it seems at times that it is a flawed love.  

I still try to live a normal life even with PTSD.  I do activities with my children.  I take them to events and movies even though I hate crowds.  I play with them in the backyard as long as my anxiety doesn’t get in the way.  I snuggle with them on the couch while watching movies even when I feel I want to be alone.  We sit down for family dinners.  We do EVERYTHING normal families do.  I just live with struggles that I have to deal with every day.  I work hard to make sure my children don’t struggle because I do.  PTSD is a very tough thing to live with but it IS possible.  We are a happy family 90% of the time and we are working towards that 95% mark, because let’s face it, we can’t all be perfect 100% of the time!

By: Jennifer L. Long, RN, NCN 

1 cup FAGE Greek yogurt
1 tbsp pb2 (powder peanut butter. It has the oils removed so there's very little fat)
1/2 tbsp All natural pb 
1/2 banana 
Drizzle of honey (about 1/2 tsp) 
About 10 choc chips 

Blend all ingredients together & set in freezer for 10 mins (if you can wait, lol)

For a magic show that will have you believing the impossible, come to the Cultural Center of Cape Cod on Thursday, February 20, at 4pm. Adults, $10. Under 18, $5. Marcus the Magician from The Magicompany will present a high-energy, comedy magic show for both kids and adults featuring music, live doves, and a chance for kids to take part and meet the amazing "Abracadabra the Magic Rabbit." Marcus has made magic for over 35 years and is a member of The International Society of Magicians, The Society of American Magicians, and the past president of The Cape Cod Mystics. His stage production, "Magic by the Sea" enjoyed an audience of over 30,000 people during its 12-year run.  

The Magicompany
P.O. Box 1122 Marstons Mills, MA 02648
508-420-0400 / 1-800-540-1038  www.TheMagicompany.com
 
Like us on Facebook !   www.facebook.com/MarcustheMagician        
Follow us on Twitter!    twitter.com/TheMagicompany !