Engaging the Senses for Symptom Relief!
By Tracy Lamperti, LMHC, BCETS
Lamperti Counseling & Consultation

What is more important, gaining insight about symptoms or reducing symptoms?  Some people come to therapy with some ideas about what is wrong, how it came to be and wanting to learn more about themselves and how to improve the way they feel and live.  This is a great!  Others come to therapy with some unpleasant something in their life and they want it to go away.  This is great also. 

Typically, when children are brought to therapy, it is because they have an unpleasant behavior that needs to be changed or emotions that the parent is concerned about.  Generally, children “act in,” which looks like depression, sadness, lazy, not trying, not developing naturally to the next stage, or they “act out,” which looks like a wide array of behavior problems.

If you or someone you love is having symptoms that feel or play out as unwanted, it can be very helpful and even many times eliminate the need for therapy and medication if you get creative with engaging the senses.

Doing too much, engaging too many senses with too many new experiences can be both confusing to the person and their internal symptom.  It can also make it difficult to determine what really works.

When you start engaging the senses, start slow and try to be organized. 

Here are some suggestions based on very common issues that present in my office;

(Hearing) Sibling conflict in the car – Sometimes, the child who has the most difficulty in the car is a child who is very sensitive to certain stimulations, such as another person talking near their ear when they are in a closed space such as a car.  Maybe more than one person is talking at a time, the radio is playing and the business of the movement from driving proves to be an overload on their system.  This child could try using headphones, but it is best to choose a particular genre of music and reserve that music just for car rides.  Over time and with willingness on the part of the child to open themselves up to a solution, they can reprogram their inner senses for a calm ride in the car even though they have not been able to change the other factors in the car.  For this purpose, I would recommend full ear headphones rather than ear buds.

(Smell) Difficulty falling asleep – Besides following the general guidelines for sleep hygiene, children and adults can benefit from an aroma, such as a lavender spray or other pleasant scents floating through the air.  Particularly, the “white noise” of a diffuser and a favorite calming essential oil may settle one’s inner senses right off to sleep.  It is all too common now for children (and adults) to be falling asleep with the TV on in their room.  I could devote an entire blog post to this topic, but for now, just to say, it’s a terrible plan.

(Vision) Dinner table issues – Trouble with picky eaters, conflict at the dinner table…resorted to not coming to the table?  It’s true, I know a lot of families that don’t even set the table.  People take their plate and go to the living room or even their bedroom.  Talk about disconnected relationships.  Countless bonds get sealed, ideas get hatched and problems get solved at a positively functioning dinner table.  Set the table, arrange the carrot sticks creatively, light candles and play soft music of everyone’s liking (we love Quiet Village on Net Radio, or the Hawaiian station on Pandora).  Pick music that doesn’t play to the modern culture, but that makes everyone feel good.  Besides the music, the main sense here is vision.  Make things look inviting.  The candle is manly visual, but it also taps into senses that I believe aren’t clearly identified. 

(Touch) Pain or illness – Babies like Minky Fabric for a reason (and so do adults)!  It feels so nice.  Sew a pillow case from minky, simply cut a large square of minky, or better yet, buy a handmade minky product from Eliza Bees Baby Gear!

(Taste) Unpleasant Emotions – So often we reach for sweets and salts to change our feelings.  Try reprogramming your taste buds to desire natural tastes.  Maybe a new routine of something you like and that is good for you can help to refocus your attention.  If you are a smoker or like your glass of wine after the kids go to bed, try choosing something else, like a low sugar sorbet or a crunchy Wasa crispbread, or even some almonds or raisins.  Eat them slowly and really explore the taste of each small bite.

Essential Oils – Working with essential oils can engage many senses at once but also not be overwhelming to your system.  Truly pure essential oils * can be diffused into the air, smelled right from the bottle, sprayed on linens, applied topically and even taken orally. 

*Essential oil safety

To sign up for a FREE class on essential oils, click the oils below.

Join us for our very first Cape Cod Moms Night Out event!  These events will be held a minimum of quarterly on both the Upper and Lower Cape Cod regions.  This inaugural event is being sponsored by a local Cape Cod Mom business called Dot to Dot Art Workshop!  Owner, Alex has quickly become very popular with the local kids as they work together to find new and creative ways to express themselves.  Dot to Dot is now expanding on helping moms find time for their own creative outlet as well!  This is an amazing opportunity to come join us for the evening and take a break from the regular routine and put YOURSELF first!  Come see have some fun with us and enjoy some quality time with friends new and old. We hope to see you there!

Date: Friday, March 6, 2015
Time: 6-9:30pm
Location: Dot to Dot Art Workshop 
2 Harold Street, Unit E
Harwich Port, MA 02646 
Sponsor: Dot to Dot Art Workshop
Cost: $10 per person; 
Loyalty Members are FREE
Description: Arts and Craft Activity while enjoying good company, complimentary wine, and learning about Alex & Dot to Dot Art Workshop.  Shop Local!
 
***This event is limited to 25 people. A waiting list will be created once we are at capacity and every effort will be made to try to hold an additional event.

(If the event reaches capacity, priority will be given in this order: 1.) Loyalty Members 2.) People who register and pay in advance 3.) People who register 4.) Walkin's.  We will also let you know the day of event if there are still spots left for walkin's.)

Sign up for this event to save your space!

DISTRIBUTION OF MARITAL ASSETS
By:  Attorney Jeni Landers, Esquire

Disclaimer:  This post is meant to give you some general information about divorce in Massachusetts.  It is NOT all inclusive and is NOT meant to be a step-by-step guide.  The laws on divorce, custody, support, alimony, and property division are complex and you should retain counsel if possible.  By providing you this information I am not in any way undertaking representation of you, creating an attorney-client relationship with you, providing you with specific advice on your situation, or guaranteeing you any particular result in your case. You may not rely on nor cite this blog post in any court pleadings.

In Massachusetts, marital assets are subject to equitable distribution. If you are not able to come to an agreement with your spouse as to the division of your marital estate, the court will decide for you after trial or hearing.

Equitable does not mean “equal” or 50/50.  The court will use its discretion to divide up the marital assets based on a list of factors set out in Massachusetts Law (MGL C. 208 Sec. 34). The court “shall consider thelength of the marriage, the conduct of the parties during the marriage, the age, health, station, occupation, amount and sources of income, vocational skills, employability, estate, liabilities and needs of each of the parties, the opportunity of each for future acquisition of capital assets and income, and the amount and duration of alimony, if any, ... In fixing the nature and value of the property to be so assigned, the court shall also consider the present and future needs of the dependent children of the marriage. The court may also consider the contribution of each of the parties in the acquisition, preservation or appreciation in value of their respective estates and the contribution of each of the parties as a homemaker to the family unit.”

You might first ask, what are marital assets?  Although certain property might be excluded from the marital estate by a pre-nuptial agreement, almost all property acquired during the marriage or commingled with marital assets can be subject to the equitable distribution.  Sometimes in short term marriages the court may exclude property brought into the marriage by one party.  And in long term marriages one party might argue that he/she is entitled to credit for the property he/she brought in.  Neither are guaranteed, however.  The court, upon reviewing the factors, has wide discretion to include or exclude property and how to divide it.  Assets may include real estate, personal property, vehicles, bank accounts, retirement accounts, investments, collectibles, antiques, businesses or business assets owned by either party, and anything else of value.  Don’t forget that debts are also divided!

Just because your name is on an account, such as an IRA or 401K, or because the deposits to that account all came from your paycheck, does not mean this asset is yours alone. Both parties are seen as contributing to the overall marital estate.  For instance although your paycheck may have been used to pay for the house, your spouse probably still has a right to a share of that house because his/her paycheck was used to light the house, put gas in the car, or food on the table.  Likewise, just because your spouse is the only one with an IRA or 401K in his/her name does not necessarily mean you aren’t entitled to some retirement money.  Maybe the money you would have put into retirement was used to pay joint credit card bills; neither party should benefit from nor be damaged by that arrangement.  

If, as part of the distribution, a retirement account is to be divided, most institutions will require something called a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO – pronounced “quadro”) which will allow the account to be split into two or a portion to be transferred to another existing account without tax penalties.  If you are agreeing to split a retirement account, make sure your separation agreement takes into account which party will be responsible for obtaining and paying for the preparation of the QDRO which the court will sign.  Not all family law attorneys draft QDROs.

One of the most difficult assets to deal with is, of course, the marital home.  Whether it was brought into the marriage by one party or not, people have great sentimental attachments to their homes and the places they raise their children.  Unfortunately, it is often impossible to keep the marital home post-divorce, especially if it is heavily mortgaged and/or the parties do not have substantial income.  The fact of the matter is that you are one household becoming two and you must now find a way to financially support those two separate households.  There is a lot to consider:  Is there sufficient equity in the home to sell and share the proceeds so that both parties can start fresh?  Is one party financially capable of taking over the mortgage either now or 2, 3, 4 years from now?  Can one party continue to the pay the mortgage and rent/mortgage somewhere else at least until the kids are all out of the house?  There is no magic answer, no black and white.  With stricter lending regulations than in the past, it can be very difficult for one party to obtain a mortgage or refinance an existing mortgage on his/her income alone.  If you are considering divorce you should start looking at your financial situation, including the value of your home, the mortgage balance, and even consider speaking to a lender about options you might have.

Assets can also be difficult to value, such as a business which is solely owned and operated by one of the parties, something with great sentimental value but potentially little cash value, or something which can be valued different ways such as an antique car or a collection.  If you cannot agree on a value, you may both present witnesses and evidence at trial as to the value.

As noted above, if you cannot divide your assets (and debts!) in a separation agreement, you will need to present evidence of both to the judge and let him/her analyze the factors and order a distribution.


<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>
Jeni A. Landers, Esquire
Wynn & Wynn, P.C.
300  Barnstable Rd.
Hyannis, MA 02601
508-775-3665
Fax 508-775-1244
www.wynnandwynn.com

February Vacation Events ~ Complimentary!
Offered By Tracy Lamperti, LMHC, BCETS
Lamperti Counseling & Consultation
And Etiquette Instruction of Cape Cod

Choose the age group here that is right for your child, click “join” and Tracy Lamperti will contact you, same day!

Fun!  ~ Something great to do during vacation!
Social! ~ Meet new friends!
Beautiful! ~ Wear your finest!
Yummy! ~ Enjoy a wonderful cup of something and snack!
Creative! ~ Take home something made by YOU!
Skill Building! ~ Learn etiquette points!
Posh! ~ A fine, memorable experience!
~ and easy on the pocketbook!  Complimentary!  That’s right, Free!

or if you are in need of professional guidance please click below to:

Tracy Lamperti, LMHC, BCETS
Lamperti Counseling & Consultation

By: Suzanne Golden, M.S., CCC-SLP

I recently gave birth to my second child and it has given me the opportunity to relive the stages of language development first hand!  I remember when my daughter was born it was so nice to be able to see all the milestones I had read about in my speech/language development classes and I’m so happy to have the opportunity to experience it again.

Here are 5 things you can do starting at BIRTH to help promote speech/language development in your child!

1.     Use Motherese – Motherese is language that is simple, repetitive, rhythmic and often spoken in a high pitch and at a slower rate.  We often use motherese instinctively when we use “baby talk” with our children.   

2.     Watch for your child’s early communication milestones – even right at birth we can start to notice our babies trying to communicate.  Crying, cooing, smiling and eye contact are all part of the early states of communication.  Watch for these milestones so you can start to learn what your baby is trying to tell you.

3.     Talk to your baby – it may seem silly to talk to someone who can’t talk back.  However, your child is hearing and learning language right from the start! Don’t be afraid to talk through your day and “narrate” what you’re doing for your baby.

4.     Respond to your child’s communication attempts – if your baby says “coo” and “goo” to you, say “coo” and “goo” back!  When your baby hears you respond it will encourage more “talking” and will let your baby know he is being heard!

5.     Sing! – It’s time to break out all of those repetitive children’s songs you remember from when you were little.  The Itsy Bitsy Spider, If You’re Happy and You Know it, etc..  These simple and engaging songs will draw your child in and promote language through song.

6.     Get silly! – Don’t be afraid to let lose.  Make noises, sing songs, make silly faces – these things will draw your baby to watch you and your face and will promote communication. 

I hope these tips help you think about ways to engage with your infant and promote speech/language development starting at birth! 


To schedule a screening or assessment please contact Golden Speech Therapy today. 
www.goldenspeechtherapy.com
Golden Speech Therapy
Suzanne Golden, M.S., CCC-SLP
Contact Info:
781-603-8529
www.goldenspeechtherapy.com
www.facebook.com/goldenspeechtherapy

The Cape Cod Moms Loyalty Club program opened in 2015.  The Loyalty Club offers discounts and incentives for frequenting local businesses as well as free and/or discounted admission to Cape Cod Moms sponsored events for only $25 yearly!  Upon signing up for your 2015 membership you will also receive samples that businesses have given us to share with you!

Sign Up Now for $20 Special Rate!

Businesses Who Wish to Join - It's FREE!
Package Includes: Sponsor will offer a deal or discount to Cape Cod Moms Loyalty Club Members.  Sponsor will be featured with logo and link to business in our Members Only Loyalty Club section as well as highlighted on the public portion of the blog and in the Facebook Loyalty Club Album.  Sponsors will also be highlighted at random in the email newsletter.  Businesses can also take part by sponsoring a Mom Night Out or education event. For more info email us at: INFO@CCMOMMIES.COM

Check out the current participating businesses below and visit our Loyalty Club info page for more details on all the discounts. This is not a complete list yet as businesses have rolling admission into our program so there are more businesses that will be added over the next several weeks!



A HUGE THANK YOU to our businesses who have already signed up and sent back their info! We encourage you to support these local businesses and the others as they come in!


Thank you to: Bella Cucina, BumBoosa Bamboo Products, Camp Wingate*Kirkland, Cape Kids, Chris Cook Photography, Gary DellaPosta, CPA, Cooks Organics, Laura's Cape Cod Cupcakes, Golden Speech Therapy, Dot to Dot Art, Emerald Eye Photography, Friendship Garden Nursery School, Polar Cave Ice Cream Parlour, Mommy & Me and The Picky One!

QUESTION: What's cuter than a baby crawling and cruising around? 

ANSWER: A bunch of babies racing towards a finish line with their family & friends cheering them on!

Don't miss Diaper Derby, the ultimate FREE event that brings together babies, parents and families in a fun, team atmosphere on Cape Cod!

Join us for:
~Race Heats - see who the fastest crawler is!
~Vendor tables with special family services, discounts & more!
~Retailer special events, offers and promotions!
~Kids crafts, activities & more!
~Raffle prizes!
~Goody bags to the first 36 registered contestants!

PLUS...we will be collecting items for A Baby Center at this event. Please consider donating diapers, pull ups, baby wipes, diaper rash ointment or baby wash. We thank you for your generosity in helping area families in need!

Register TODAY at Simon Guest Services. Contestants must be 12 months or younger as of February 21,2015. Don't have a crawler? That's okay! Join us for tons of family fun, cheer on your favorite derby racer, register to win prizes and more! (To all parents/guardians of our racers - please stop by the Guest Services and pre-register your crawler for the event, you will be able to pick the time of the race if you do it sooner rather than later )

Want to host a vendor table at this great event? Contact Alena Reardon at areardon@simon.com or call 508-771-0201!