There are lots of activities and events taking place all over Cape Cod and the Islands this weekend!  Here are our favorite events to check out!

Falmouth Dream Car Cruise will take place on Saturday from 9:30-3pm.  The car show itself will display cars of all types on the Library Lawn, Mullen Hall, Lawrence School and Peg Noonan Park. On Sunday from 12-3pm watch the parade of cars as they travel thru Falmouth.  ThisDream Cruise Car Show is a definite MUST SEE event!  I have attended for the past several years and the cars on display are always amazing and they are sure to entertain children of all ages! (You usually cannot sit in the cars, however we happened to have a very special uncle who let us check out the inside of his 57 Chevy). 

Think about this statement for a moment.

If you have courage, if you take risks, if you push your boundaries, if you’re ballsy and challenge yourself, your life EXPANDS.

If you don’t, it doesn’t.  It shrinks, plain and simple.  Like a deflated balloon.  Do you want your life to resemble a deflated balloon??

I KNOW you don’t want THAT.

What if Walt hadn’t had the courage to dream like he did?  What if he’d never gotten up the nerve to pursue his big dreams?

We’d have no princesses to laugh and complain and argue about, lol.

 AND we would have no Magic Kingdom.  =(

 Now, take this quote by Eleanor Roosevelt:

 “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must  do the thing you think you cannot do.”

I absolutely LOVE Eleanor Roosevelt and her strong, smart sayings.  How can anyone argue with her?? How many times have you had to do the very thing you thought you just couldn’t do?  I can’t even count how many times anymore.  Yet  here I stand.

Life would be a pretty bland dish of potatoes without a dash of courage, that’s for sure.  Don’t get me wrong here, I’m NOT saying we all have to go cutting off  our ears to prove our bravery, far from it.  But just think about something  you’ve been dreaming of, something you’ve been longing to attempt but put off over and over again.  What is it?  Why haven’t you attempted it yet?

Sometimes it IS the quiet voice.  Getting up again tomorrow and trying again takes a TON of courage.  Sometimes that is the only thing that gets us through the day, knowing that tomorrow will give us another chance to win.

I just had to include the Cowardly Lion.  I think this is my favorite scene in the whole “Wizard of Oz” movie.  Brings me to tears every time.

 You CAN win.  But only if you find your courage and GET UP, stand up.  Don’t give up the fight. (Thanks Bob Marley).

———————————————————-
About Pamela

 As your Confidence Coach, I bring you the tools to BE your SELF and OWN your TRUTH.

If you:
 - don’t know how to use your own voice anymore
- used to feel like you could do anything
- wonder why no one listens to you
- feel invisible most  of the time
- don’t have a plan for your future
- can’t even imagine your  way into next week
- wonder when your goals disappeared like that
- feel  all bottled up like wine with a dry cork
- wish you could just run away some  days
- hate living in an emotional battlefield or wasteland
- can’t remember the last time you felt good about yourself
- don’t know when someone  last complimented you on anything
- feel as if flirting was something you did  in another lifetime
- don’t remember how to have fun
-This list goes on  and on, doesn’t it?…

 I know what it’s like and how to help because the same thing happened to me.  Now that I have successfully found my Self and learned how to own my truth, I can guide you through the steps it takes to succeed and THRIVE.  Email me directly at Pamela@ElasticityCoaching.com or visit my website
at www.PamelaWills.com. Let’s talk so we can identify your  challenges and decide on your course of
action.  I look forward to working with  you!

--
Pamela Wills,
CPCElasticity Coaching

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Cape Cod Mommies is running a Back to Business Fall Special for new Advertisers!

$250 for 6 months which is  $42 a month (plus you will get 3 complimentary blog posts or deals you want our readers to know about.)

$450 for 1 year - only $37.50 a month!!!! (includes 6 blog posts)

If you want more information, please email us at info@ccmommies.com and we will be more than happy to send you our media kit!

I am a huge fan of avocado's!  They are an excellent source of healthy fats and contain many oils, vitamins and minerals that are essential to have in your diet like potassium, Vitamin D, and fiber.  The avocado also protect you from various types of cancer, heart disease, stroke, etc. 

Needless to say avocado is one of my summer must have's and in all reality it is really a year round must have in our kitchen!  A friend suggested that I try making a different version of my avocado spread by adding zucchini into it and with all the zucchini around this summer I jumped at the idea.

I researched online and found that there were various ideas and recipes for making a zucchini avocado spread, but I really like to take recipes and make them my own.  I often experiment by swapping ingredients, changing the amounts recommended or adding something new.   Since zucchini is one of those friendly green veggies high in vitamin A and folic acid (among other things), I decided to go out on a limb and add in the child fave: BROCOLI.  Brocoli is one of my fave veggies to incorporate into our daily diet.  Many of you know that I often finely chop up raw brocoli and sprinkle it all over my food especially pizza or pasta's.  Brocoli is a great veggie that helps prevent cancer, is high in vitamin C and fiber and also helps promote healthy sleep.  

I was excited to combine these 3 healthy wonders and was even more excited when it came out to be pretty tasty and was immediately gobbled up by my toddler as well as various friends and family.  I waited until after they had heaped me with praise to reveal the extra ingredients in the spread though. 

4.) Put the zucchini into the food processor and mash away.  Slowly add in the chopped brocoli, then the onions, garlic, and cilantro.  Mix it well!

5.) Add the mixture to the avocado.

6.) Sprinkle a little salt for taste and you are ready to serve it!

*** I personally add a little hot pepper to mine for the kick and spice but I don't recommend that for children who have not experienced that before.

You can serve this with chips, veggie sticks, as a spread on a sandwich, the sky is the limit!  It still retains a guacamole taste but now we have added some major nutritional value that will keep your family happy and healthy!  What types of ingredients to you add to your guac?

Vaccinations are a highly controversial topic for any parent, but what about for a Preemie parent? Here you have a baby of smaller than normal size, and you're placing small amounts of illnesses into their bodies. I have allowed both my children, (one full term, one Premature) to be fully vaccinated until this past week. Our Pediatrician brought up the topic of the "Flu" vaccine, and I denied it
(against  her judgement). Is it really beneficial for my tiny baby girl to be injected  with this virus? I feel as though as a Parent I should be confident in my  decisions I make for my children, and yet something inside me is uneasy. I never  gave a second thought when our Neonatologist suggested Synagis (a highly potent  RSV vaccine given during cold/flu season). And yet for a common flu vaccine I am  double guessing myself. When is excess washing of hands, and extra Vitamin C not  enough?

I would love to hear comments on either side of this  discussion.

Vanessa

Beyond the basics of budgeting and saving, you will want to get your child involved in saving and investing. The easiest way to do this is to have the child open his or her own passbook savings account.

If you want your child to get familiar with investing, there are various child-friendly mutual funds available. The mailings from the fund can be a source of education. Or you may want to get the child interested in individual stocks.

You may want to start a "matching" program with your kids to encourage saving. For instance, for every dollar that the child puts into a savings account or investment, you might match it with 50 cents.

If you want to get your kids involved with investing, it will usually have to be done through a custodial account. There are generally two types of widely used custodial accounts-one is set up under the Uniform Gifts to Minors Act, and the other under the Uniform Transfers to Minors Act. The type of custodial account available depends on which state you live in.

With a custodial account, the child is the owner, but the custodian (usually a parent) manages the property until the child reaches the age of majority under relevant state law-either 18 or 21. The custodian must follow certain rules concerning management of the property in the account. These rules are intended to ensure that the custodian does what is in the child's best interests.

IRAs For Kids
 
If your child has earned income-from a paper route or baby-sitting, for example, or from working in the family business he or she can contribute earnings to an IRA. The IRA can be an extremely effective investment for a child because of the IRA's tax-deferral feature and the length of time the money is left in the IRA. If $3,000 per year is contributed to the child's IRA for ten years and the money is left to grow until the child reaches age 65, the amount in the IRA could reach $600,000 or more, depending on the returns on the investment. In 2012, your child can contribute the lesser of his or her earned income for the year or $5,000, either to a traditional IRA or a tax-free Roth IRA. The contribution limits are the same for both types of accounts.

To replace the "lost" earnings, the parents can give $3,000 per year to the child (or the amount of earned income the child has, if less). The child may have to file tax returns.

The drawback of course is that, with some exceptions, the money cannot be withdrawn before age 59-1/2 without tax penalty.
 
Related Guide: For tax rules on IRA withdrawals for higher education, please see the Financial Guide: HIGHER EDUCATION COSTS: How To Get The Best Tax Treatment.

Happy Financial Friday,
Gary
If you have any questions, please contact my office 508-540-3683 or info@dellapostacpa.com

Meet Sung Bin Park Boudreau-our newest Cape Cod Mom Blogger!  Technology now far surpasses our grandparents and parents age and someday will rival the age that we grew up in... We welcome her to our team and we look forward to her green and natural parenting blogs!!  Welcome!!!!

"Oh, dear  child,

I can  only imagine what you will be capable of and what new technology will be available to you in the coming years.

But as  you become hyper-linked to a world of instant messages and texts (and who knows  what else is on the horizon), I hope you will also come to respect the simple  things in life that I knew and grew up with.

May you  look back fondly on your youth filled with summers at the beaches here. Or enjoy  the outdoor play of running around at the local playgrounds, just as I did when  I was a child living in the city.

Though  you will never know arcane things like fax machines, word processors or pagers that I was once accustomed to, I hope we will have some mutual understanding for  the things that are designed to make our lives easier.

Mostly, I  hope you will not look at me with disdain when I tell you your iPod or portable  device is not your only mode of entertainment and that having a family
meal  without interruptions from texts is mandatory.


While I  promise to try to keep up-to-speed with the latest advances and not be a “lame” or “out of it” parent as much as I can, I hope you will also be able to slow  down enough to enjoy life without fancy gadgets, at least for a bit.

 I will  try myself not to get sucked into incessant texting or Internet surfing and to  be a good role model for you, but to also be there alongside you when you need  to research the web for a project or need help crafting and proofing an  email.

All this  to say, you will be far smarter and savvier than I, when it comes to the newest  apps or innovations. But I would never admit that.

I will  just subtly nod and start saying things like “I remember when…” while secretly  being in awe of your aptitude."

This was a letter that I wrote for my toddler (or future adult to be) on a local Patch.com when I was living in Brooklyn, NY but it has since been repurposed to suit our new home here. It’s hard to imagine where she will be in this evolving digital age but I do hope it happens rather slowly. In fact, I would love to cocoon her in an attempt to raise her in a natural more conscientious way without the challenges of technology and media but I know I wouldn’t be able to do it forever. She will inevitably get old enough to make her own decisions, sigh. Hi, I’m Sung Bin, I just moved from New York City to become a year round Cape Codder and have been itching to explore every corner beyond our domicile. There are so many joys and surprises and as a first time parent looking to raise her child in a natural way, I hope to share some of those experiences with you.  I’ve been lucky to spend this summer here with my little one and can’t wait to see what the rest of the seasons will bring. 

There is nothing more annoying than trying to detangle my hair in the morning.  My son who also has long fine hair also get knots.  He  gets very frustrated when I try to comb them out, crying and screaming that I am hurting him.  Luckily, there is a grand new invention called the Knot Genie that can help mothers like me!

The Knot Genie Detangling Brush was created to not only to make brushing of even the most unruly hair effortless, but to create peace in households and all around the world at bath time. The Knot Genie’s unique bristles act like little “fingers” gently untangling knots and tangles. In other words, the Knot Genie is going to save my butt (and possibly my hearing!) during morning routines!

Want to try the Knot Genie for yourself? Right now Knot Genie is offering a $4.00 off 1 Knot Genie Coupon!  Click *here* to get yours.  Happy hair brushing!

We used to do a lot together…. Go on hikes, picnics, take in movies, explore new places, hold hands, cuddle up together…...  Once baby came, there suddenly became less time for us.   Even as baby has grown, between diaper changing, meal planning, play dates, shopping, working and just everyday life of being a parent, there just are NOT enough hours in the day.   I deeply miss the days of having “couple”time, those carefree days when we discussed worldly topics and bantered back and forth about politics, life, the
cosmos. I miss the little things of being snuggled at night and as high school as it is… hand holding.  Now (on both sides) it goes more like this: “I’m too tired to ________ (watch a movie, have sex, cuddle, etc, insert your choice here)”. 

Let me let you in on a little secret though…..  I am NOT alone! I have talked with many fellow moms and friends in hushed tones about this very topic.  And not surprisingly, we all say the same type of thing.  We all get irritated by the same things, we all had a change in our communication post children, we all missed the old days.

“Even the best relationships are strained during the transition from duo to trio (or more!). Lack of sleep, never-ending housework and new fiscal concerns can lead to profound stress and a decline in marital satisfaction - all of which affect baby’s care. Not surprisingly, 70% of couples in their transition to parenthood
experience conflict, disappointment and hurt feelings.” ~ Dr. John Gottman. Dr. Gottman has done extensive studies on relationships in general and relationships post children.  I highly recommend bookmarking his blog and checking it out when you can: http://www.gottmanblog.com/

It started out slowly, we were just sleep deprived and had less time for each other as most of the time focused on the new addition and how to create stability for that addition. Slowly little things went by the wayside, slowly new things irritated us about the other, slowly little things became new habits, and new habits slowly changed the dynamic of our relationship to where today, it is barely recognizable from when we started out.  What happened to those two happy people?

We were fortunate enough early on to be recommended to an amazing class pre-baby through Falmouth Hospital. The Bringing Baby Home Series (see Dr. Gottman's blog and website for more info on this class) facilitated by Lee Burwell was beyond amazing.  The 4 class series had great information, we met another great couple and we came home armed with tools for success.  Unfortunately for us though, life got in the way of remembering to use those tools.  It had all seemed so easy in class, but real life is NEVER easy.   We recognized this problem and discussed options such as….. gasp….. counseling.

Relationship Counseling seems to be a taboo topic for many couples.  I have heard people who think that it means “the beginning of the end”, “a last resort”, and even comments like “how would a stranger help us if we can’t help us”.  Men especially seem to be afraid of seeking help.  I’m not sure if this is a pride thing or not but for us it became about something more important than our pride, it was about our family.  We braved the counseling and learned a lot about each other from our  sessions.  Counseling is definitely not at all what society thinks.  Many couples have problems in their relationships, it is going to happen.  You can’t expect to agree on everything in life.  You have 2 different people who were raised with 2 different families, and 2 sets of life experiences.  So of course you are going to get 2 sets of opinions on everything and they will NOT always be the same.  Relationships take compromise and you have to invest the time in them, they take WORK. We are always making concessions on things in order to work together, but sometimes there are
things where you differ that can build obstacles in the way of your relationship and communication.   

We learned that it was important to have “couple” time and to have date nights again.  We also learned that we  both communicate very differently, which was hindering our relationship because we were not effectively “hearing” one another and we did not understand one  another’s dreams.  It is okay to have a different viewpoint then your significant other, but if you can’t be open to each other’s differences you will have problems.  This breakdown in communication leads to a breakdown in intimacy.  And ultimately a breakdown in intimacy can eventually lead to a complete breakdown in the relationship.  

The current divorce rate in the US is 50%.  Of course that doesn’t even figure in the separation rate between couples who are not married.  I would guess the number is probably much higher if you factor that in.  What has led to this breakdown?  The answer is that outside stressors have caused communication breakdowns. 
People are afraid to seek help and guidance.  I speak from experience when I say it really helps to have a third party to talk to.  The third party is able to help you see why you are having trouble.  Many times we are to close to the situation and need someone who is completely impartial to help us understand.

When children enter into a relationship, everything changes.  It is important that even if your relationship does not work to where you can have a typical nuclear family unit that you still learn to communicate
effectively for the sake of the children.  There are many co-parenting families out there who make it work, but unfortunately the majority of those couples still don’t because of resentment, immaturity with the situation and other obstacles.  It is our job as parents to show our children how to be healthy adults and they will practice what they have seen. 

What kind of partner do you want your child to be someday?  Right now at the current trend in the US, this generation of children will not have had healthy examples of relationships.  What kind of adults will these children grow up to be?  Will they take the easy way out when things get tough or will they fight to save a relationship even if it means seeking help? It is up this generation of mothers and fathers to correct this upward trend and to model the best for our children. I would hate to live in a world where negative relationships with couples become the norm.  It is okay to ask for help, it is okay that you disagree on things, it is important to fight for your relationship until you have exhausted every option; it is okay to ask for help when you are in a co-parenting situation even if it means you are the only one seeking the help….. You are NOT alone.

As I was preparing this blog piece, I was presented with an AMAZING opportunity to pass along to our loyal readers. I don’t think it was a coincidence that this opportunity came up as we were preparing to go live.  Check it out below and if you are interested, send them an email to find out more, maybe it will help your relationship.  Either way I encourage you to find someone to talk to if you are having problems or find a
parent support group to join together. You may be surprised at just how many couples are in the same exact boat  as you are.  I wish you all the best of luck in your relationships, whatever state they are in and hope you all are able to communicate effectively.  
 
*** Cape Cod Mommies is currently seeking a professional advisor for our blog who is a licensed family/marital counselor who can blog on a wide variety of topics and how it pertains to our parents.

AMAZING OPPORTUNITY!!!

 Do You Crave More Intimacy in Your Marriage?

If you’re married, chances are your sex life isn’t what it used to be. 

With all that couples are tasked with juggling these days from family to friends, careers and kids --it’s no surprise that intimacy can become less of a priority in many marriages. But over time, that lack of intimacy can cause real problems in any relationship. In fact, millions of couples at some point over the course of a marriage face intimacy challenges.

The good news? -- it doesn’t have to be that way.

Are you and your partner stuck in a “sex rut” but don’t know how to fix it? If so, this could be your chance to make a change!
 
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Email a short description of your story to 330casting@gmail.com to be considered and to learn more. Don’t wait to be a part of the conversation!

*** This opportunity above did not influece the author of this blog piece in any way.  Thoughts of the preceding blog piec were the author's own and in no way was she compensated for them.

Confidence is kind of like the Holy Grail for a lot of people.  And like most people, I also struggle with confidence issues once in awhile.  Am I smart enough / pretty enough / good enough issues.  Do they like me / want to  work
with me / want to be my friend issues.  Can I do this / is this possible /  am I crazy issues.  You know, the usual.

But sometimes, instead of those issues appearing as fleeting doubts or fears  that we combat and vanquish fairly quickly, if we let them take over, then they can and WILL pervade our lives and affect everything we do.  I know this firsthand because when I was at the lowest point of my first marriage, my confidence was also at a very low point.  It was a painful place to hang out, but it definitely taught me that I was the only person in charge of my Self — AND my self-confidence.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

For instance, if your confidence level is low, you might end up letting  people treat you badly on a regular basis.  You might unwittingly let friends, family members, co-workers or even your spouse put you down or take advantage of  you.  You might find that your kids don’t listen or do what you ask them to do.   Maybe you find yourself apologizing for stuff that other people do to YOU.

 If your confidence level is really low, you might let people make decisions for you regularly.  You might take on your partner or your friend’s likes and values.  You might end up the victim of a controlling person or even a bully.  You might sometimes find yourself in uncomfortable, compromising or even dangerous situations.

 I went through most of these scenarios during my own “troubles” and I tell you what, it was NOT fun.  But since then, I have done a lot of work, a lot of  reading, a lot of practicing and spent a lot of time alone, just thinking.  The  result:  I figured out who I really am and raised my confidence level through the roof!  Now, I don’t suffer any fools for more than about a minute. =)

“I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then live with that decision.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Can you tell I’m an Eleanor fan?…

So how can YOU lift the heavy weight of low confidence off your shoulders and step forward into being fully YOU?  Well, I will be honest with you — I would  not recommend doing it alone, like I did.  The process is painful enough without  adding isolation and loneliness to the morass.  My advice?  Ask a close friend or family member for help!  Better yet, hire a coach to lean on.  Trust  me, an experienced coach’s objectivity and action-oriented guidance are the best  gift you could ever give yourself.  I wish I had done it for my Self years   ago!

Meanwhile, until you gather your courage to talk to someone (and we’ll talk about courage very soon…), there are a few steps you can practice daily to jumpstart your confidence boost.

1) Replace the negative chatter in your head with positive Self talk.***
Practice makes perfect here.  And diligence.  Every time you catch yourself saying something mean to your Self about You, stop!  Take a breath.  Rewind.  Now replay it, but this time, be nicer to your Self.  For instance, instead of saying, “I’m so stupid!” say something like, “Okay, I made   a mistake, so now how can I learn from this mistake?” ***If you do nothing else, DO THIS THING!!!  Every day.  All the time.  Without fail.  No matter what anyone else says to you.  It WORKS.

2) Tell yourself 10 Good Things.
Every night before you go to sleep, maybe while you’re brushing your teeth, repeat after me:  I am strong.  (That’s one.)  I am smart.  (That’s two.)  I am confident.  (That’s three.  See how easy it is?)  And keep going!  What other good things can you say about your Self?  Are you a good mom?  Are you a reliable friend?  Do you have great hair??  The first time you try this, it will feel weird.  You might only make it up to six Good Things.  But keep practicing.  Eventually, you will not want to stop at 10!  Trust me on this one.  It WORKS.

 3) Make an “I AM” Scrapbook or Vision Board.
This might be a bit more advanced, but it is also quite relaxing and exhilarating at the same time.  Kind of like yoga!  Anyway, whenever you have some alone time, cut out pictures and words from magazines that reflect who you think you are, or even who you really want to be.  It’s never too late to be the person you’ve always wanted to be, don’t you agree?  You can also draw and write words directly in your book or on your posterboard.  Any old book, notebook, scrap cardboard or corkboard will do.  Make this an ongoing project if you like.  Once  you’ve finished, put it where you can see it or take it out and look at it regularly to reinforce that calm yet exhilarating feeling of I AM.

Confidence.  It CAN be yours.  If I can do it, YOU can TOTALLY do it, too!

To help you get the ball rolling, call or email me for a quick chat.    Usually, I charge over $100 per hour for private coaching sessions on th  telephone.  But I am so sure that I can kick your confidence up a notch or two  RIGHT AWAY that I am willing to give you 30 minutes of my time, no charge.

What have you got to lose?
 ———————————————————-
About Pamela
 As your Confidence Coach, I bring you the tools to BE your SELF and OWN your TRUTH.

If you:
 - don’t know how to use your own voice anymore
- used to feel like you could do anything
- wonder why no one listens to you
- feel invisible most  of the time
- don’t have a plan for your future
- can’t even imagine your  way into next week
- wonder when your goals disappeared like that
- feel  all bottled up like wine with a dry cork
- wish you could just run away some  days
- hate living in an emotional battlefield or wasteland
- can’t  remember the last time you felt good about yourself
- don’t know when someone  last complimented you on anything
- feel as if flirting was something you did  in another lifetime
- don’t remember how to have fun
- This list goes on  and on, doesn’t it?…

I know what it’s like and how to help because the same thing happened to me.  Now that I have successfully found my Self and  learned how to own my truth, I can guide you through the steps it takes to 
 succeed and THRIVE.  Email me directly at Pamela@ElasticityCoaching.com or visit my website at www.PamelaWills.com.   Let’s talk so we can identify your  challenges and decide on your course of
action.  I look forward to working with  you!

Pamela Wills,
CPC
Elasticity Coaching

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