 Above All Else Navigating Separation and Divorce in the Best Interest of the Child Part 2 by Tracy Lamperti, LMHC, BCETS ***This is part of the Navigating Separation and Divorce in the Best Interest of the Child Series Above all else, children have the right to be safe, physically, emotionally and developmentally. If couples were able to navigate all of the details of separation and divorce effectively, a majority of these couples would not need to separate. Emotions can run high (and very low) at this very difficult time. Even so, on the issues of safety, it is crucially important that parents be able to sit down in a calm space and with professional support if needed and agree on some key points. Even if divorce has already been finalized, these key point might be important to formally agree upon. The following are merely suggestions of points to discuss. Each person should identify the points that they feel are important. It MAY seem unnecessary, but these points should be printed out and each parent should sign and date the final agreement. This agreement is a good faith attempt to put your child first. It should be completed as early as a couple is realizing a separation is going to occur and should not wait for a mediation or court process to take place, because not all professionals will include a document like this in the process. But as stated, even if you are well into the process, it isn’t too late. Items to Consider (Father’s Name and Mother’s Name), parents of (your child(ren’s) name), agree to put our children first by agreeing on the following; · We will not discuss the details of our problems with each other with or in front of our child(ren). · We will not question (cross-examine) our child(ren) about their time with the other parent. · We will inform the other parent about certain things during our time so that the other parent doesn’t feel like they have to cross examine the child(ren), for example; the child not feeling well, a disciplinary decision, spending time with someone who is a stranger to the other parent, logistics about sleeping arrangements, babysitters, etc… · We will communicate directly with each other (or an agreed upon family, friend or mediator) and not ask our child(ren) to relay messages for us. · We will not ask our child(ren) to keep a secret. (THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT) · We will not ask our child(ren) to tell the other parent something that isn’t true. · We will listen attentively and lovingly to our child(ren) about their feelings, but not lead them to believe that they are more powerful than they actually are in being able to have their feelings change things like visitation schedules, etc. (This next part needs careful consideration. Your contract might not read like this. It will depend on your beliefs and in part, the developmental stage of your child.) · We will give each other the chance to meet and approve or disapprove of any potential babysitters, including new girl/boyfriends. For potential caretakers age 16 and older, a CORI (criminal records check) may be requested. (You can inquire about how to do that at your local police department. I have been involved in a few cases where a new boyfriend was actually on the sexual offenders registry, but because the parent said, “He’s fine!” or “I trust him with the kids and I’m always around anyway” the other parent went through a great deal of difficulty trying to bring the issue into the court. Even still, it’s not a clear cut decision for the court. However, a signed contract like this one makes it a clear cut decision.) · If or when either of us decide to date, we will introduce the boy/girlfriend gradually to our child(ren). · If or when either of us decide to have a boy/girlfriend stay overnight during our time with our child(ren), the child will not sleep in the same bed with us. (This will need to be discussed and worded carefully depending on the developmental level of the child. For a child who still comes into parent’s bed at night, this will need to be spelled out.) “Children who live with a single parent that has a live-in partner are at the highest risk for sexual abuse: they are 20 times more likely to be victims of child sexual abuse than children living with both biological parents (Sedlack, et. al., 2010).These are just a few additional points, based on my experience with family court over the last 20 years. These points are not meant as legal advice, as I am not a lawyer. The “lawyer-of-the-day” is a resource for free legal advice/direction. Call ahead to see what days they are available and you will arrive and wait your turn. 1. The child will not come to court with you, nor will your child have a say in the legal proceedings. 2. A child’s voice MAY be conveyed through the court psychologist, however, this is very rare and if a child is seen by the Probate and Family Court Psychologist, it is likely that the parents will be also, and that the parents will be under a great deal of scrutiny. 3. Only in the most extreme of cases, i.e. severe abuse or neglect allegations, a tragic death, EXTREME parental conflict, EXTREME appearance that one parent is alienating the other, etc. will the court POSSIBLY appoint a Guardian ad litem (GAL). A GAL is a legal or mental health professional who is appointed by the judge to assist in sorting out the details of the case when a child’s needs are concerned. The only other circumstances in which a GAL would be appointed is a case in which the parents are required to pay for the GAL privately. Even if paid for by one or both parents, the GAL is still, essentially, the Judge’s investigator, and not on the side of either parent. Barnstable Probate and Family Court used to have one of the best children’s advocacy services. Children were at times appointed a lawyer and/or a GAL in cases where it looked like one was needed. The funding is no longer available for these services. 4. Especially since GAL’s are so rare these days, many lawyers of the day are directing parents to seek a letter from a counselor, such as myself, who will write a letter to be brought to court regarding the child. There are many ethical considerations for a therapist to take into account when asked to write such a letter. A therapist who is qualified to work with divorce cases involving children can be very helpful. However, seeking a therapist for a child for the purpose of getting a letter for court is not the proper use of therapy services. It is not typically two parents asking for a therapist’s services for help with decisions at court, it is usually one parent. As stated, there are many ethical issues involved and when seeking support from a therapist, parents need to be sure to research qualifications of the therapist carefully. Please consider getting support if you are going through a major separation, married or not married, especially if you have children. Family and friends can be very helpful, but even just a few sessions with a specialist can make a big difference. Tracy Lamperti, LMHC, BCETS Please see www.tracylamperti.com for more information about marriage and divorce.
0 Comments
 By Amy
The Cotuit Craft Fair is in the air.... for this weekend! Get ready for the 43rd Annual Cotuit Arts & Crafts Festival, Saturday & Sunday - August 17 and August 18 - from 10 to 4, Rain or Shine at the Cotuit Village Green! Below we have listed our 3 Must-Sees and our 2 Ones We Want to Check Out! Must-Sees! Lester Ruth, wooden toymaker extraordinaire will be at Booth 87. We have discussed before why Lester Ruth is Our Favorite Toymaker! But to sum it up: his wooden toys are exceptional, simple and sure to please children. The other 2 Must-Sees are two talented and crafty mama's whose designs and creativeness never cease to amaze me. Bzzyfingers will be there with her adorable dresses, onesies, bibs, blankets and more at Booth 7! Check out our Review of Bzzyfingers here. Also at Booth 7 will be A2Zbowtique who you may remember from another review we did! She has recently added cute aprons, great accessories, and a car organizer to her inventory! We recently purchased a car and crayon organizer and love it! Checking Out The two exhibitors we really are interested in checking out this year are Story Pictures by Diane Hanna in Booth 85 and the Fabric Dolls with matching child dresses by Janet Campagna in Booth 88. I check out the Story Pictures and I love the creativity of using the old pictures with the story on them. I am also excited to check out the fabric dolls with the matching dresses. Little girls love to match their "babies". It sounds like a great present for a special little girl! Check out our Top Five Exhibitors 2012 from last year as these are also worth taking a peek at if they are attending! There will also be the usual Art Tent, Tasty Food, and delightful local entertainment! It is definitely an event not to miss. Parking an be an issue but they provide a shuttle! Have a great weekend and Happy Shopping!  We've been invited to take part in an amazing event at the Boston Children's Museum tomorrow! As part of the #VeggieChallenge and the on going campaign to help support children getting more veggies into their day we will be participating in tomorrow's event! Look for our posts and tweets with our updates and ideas!
WHAT: Ninety percent of kids don’t eat the recommended amount of veggies each day and summer is an ideal time to try a new approach. On Saturday, August 17, Boston families can visit the Play with Your Birds Eye Veggies outdoor event at the Boston Children’s Museum, a fun-filled day created to help inspire families to make dinnertime fun for kids and help them eat healthier. Parents and kids can pit carrot against broccoli in a wacky, action-packed stationary bike race, create their own silly veggie self-portrait on a plate, and take home a free gift bag with kid-friendly veggie meal ideas. Families will also have the opportunity to meet and take photos with Nickelodeon characters SpongeBob SquarePants and Dora the Explorer. This event is part of Birds Eye’s national program led by Jennette McCurdy, star of Nickelodeon’s hit show, Sam and Cat, to Rewrite the Dinnertime Rules. Attendees will also have the chance to enter onsite to win a trip to Nickelodeon’s Worldwide Day of Play in NYC this fall. All families can participate online at BirdsEye.com by submitting photos of how they make veggies fun for a chance to win as well. Stop & Shop customers who provide proof of purchase of any one Birds Eye product by showing their Stop & Shop receipt will provide receive 25 percent off museum admission for their entire family. The discount is only valid on the date of the Birds Eye event, 8/17. WHEN: Saturday, August 17, 2013, 10:00 a.m. - 4:00 p.m. WHERE: Boston Children’s Museum 308 Congress Street Boston, MA 02210 Here are the Rules: http://www.multivu.com/mnr/62540-birds-eye-and-nickelodeon-star-jennette-mccurdy-help-kids-eat-healthier "Rewriting the Rules Inspiration McCurdy and Birds Eye have the following suggestions for getting started Rewriting the Dinnertime Rules. These rules are only the beginning, McCurdy says. “Kids have endless imagination—veggie tacos, veggie faces, veggie ‘try’ outs and on and on. Rewriting the rules means letting them put the fun in the picture. I had so much fun filming as I played with my Birds Eye veggies, so I hope kids will watch my videos and they will provide inspiration!” Rule #1: Role Reversal. Kids pick the menu and the veggies, help shop for the groceries and are in charge (with a little help from mom and dad) in the kitchen. Plus, they get to pick the theme and dress and decorate accordingly, whether it’s hitting the “beach,” bringing out your family’s wild side in the “jungle” or cheering on your favorite sports team. Rule #2: Play with Your Birds Eye Veggies! You can use your veggies to make smiley faces or create colorful rainbows on your plate … you can even give your broccoli a mohawk haircut (really!) – just have fun! Rule #3: Celebrate Every Bite. It can take up to 12 times for a kid to try a new type of veggie, or any new food before he or she begins liking it (http://www.choosemyplate.gov). So, keep it up! And while you’re at it, give yourself a high five for every bite your kid takes. Rule #4: Be a Veggie Explorer. There are all sorts of cool and surprising ways to serve veggies. Like smoothies (mixed veggies with yogurt, OJ and honey), popsicles (carrots and OJ) and salad dressings (carrot ginger). You AND your kids will be amazed at all the cool ways you can eat your veggies."  By: Joan Walsh Stocking a child’s book shelf is so much fun. I will choose some of my favorite books that dwell on the love connection. These books make for perfect shower gifts in place of money spent on greeting cards. Mama, Do You Love Me Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown On the Day You Were Born Guess How Much I Love You Mommy Hugs Love You Forever Daddy Kisses Run Away Bunny The love connection with your child lasts a lifetime.
By: Maurene Merritt, RN & Yoga Teacher I did not give birth the way that I had imagined, in a full, wide open squat like the 21st century contemporary hybrid creature that I was, half hippie and the other, a high-heeled, disheartened business woman. I tried, with one of my arms wrapped around Candyce's father, and my other one around Maura, my doula. But the force moving my baby out of my body was so strong that my spine arched back like a running, overextended fishing rod! So instead I squatted by baby out with a fully extended spine behind me, like the unintentional leaning tower of Pisa! I didn't know it at the time, and wouldn't find out for at least another decade, but I had just performed one of the ultimate class of poses in yoga called, "backbends". It makes perfect sense now, of course, that my body would take the form of something so vital and beautiful and outrageously untamed with such rare, cosmic force moving through my body.  When we give birth to our babies, I believe that the release is so powerful that the spine has no choice but to move into extension followed by a springing action back into forward flexion. It is here, if we wait and allow our attention to be expansive coiled in our origins, that we are privy to experience all of the energy accumulated in our bodies from giving birth before it dissipates into space. It's why backbends are highly sought on a yoga mat, because they provide for the same energy release except in a much less exaggerated form; there is not approximately 8.5 pounds of substance moving out of the body! However, if one chooses to remember their experience by journaling, contemplating and articulating, they'll deepen and enliven the newly opened pathway created in their nervous system. Then, more and more, opportunity will exist to strengthen and intensify the energy, clarity and happiness that backbending provides for. It is with this in mind that I have created "The Star Gazer", a sequence of poses that simulates the actual birth experience and the subsequent release of energy. We will soon be celebrating my daughter's 25th birthday. It feels like yesterday, that I had her in my arms and all to myself. And although she has left my arms, she will forever remain in my heart, along with my longing to recapture and live those rare precious moments, over and over again.
Together, forever, in our hearts, Maurene *reprinted with full permission from http://www.birthblessingsyoga.blogspot.com/ Check out Makit, the popular Make a Plate kit company with this discount code for our readers!8/14/2013  Cape Cod Mommies just been given the opportunity to review the Make A Plate Art Project and I’m looking forward to sharing it with you. If you want to follow along, my readers save 30% on their Prepaid Art Plate Kit (that’s a savings of over $5!) USE PROMO CODE: USFAMILY at http://www.makit.com/ProductDetail.aspx?ProductCode=K1100PP 
 Makit has been in business for over 40 years. Make A Plate kits allow children to let their creativity soar in crafting a lasting gift for Mom, Dad, Grandparent or teacher. All Make A Plates are nontoxic, BPA-Free, dishwasher safe and proudly made in the USA. 
One of my favorite times of the day is the time I get to spend reading with my daughter. I love how excited she is about reading, asking questions, answering questions and talking about books. Reading with your child at a young age is not only a great way to work on pre-literacy skills, but it is a great way to address speech and language skills too! 
While it is important to model reading the words on the page, your reading experiences with your child should incorporate so much more! Here are some suggestions to make your time spent reading more meaningful and incorporate speech and language skills too.
Before Reading · Head to the library and check out some new books! · Choose books together with your child · Pick books that you want to read and books that your child wants to read · Pick books about a variety of topics · Talk about the title and look at the cover · Make predictions about the story · Choose topics your child has some background knowledge about so he/she can relate · If you are going somewhere new in the near future, choose a book about it so your child can learn about it before you go · If your child has difficulty saying certain speech sounds correctly, choose books that contain those speech sounds During Reading · Sit next to or across from your child so he/she can see your face and watch how you say sounds · Draw your child’s attention to words in the story that contain his/her target speech sounds · Model target words and have him/her try to say them correctly · Talk about the pictures in the book and make predictions before reading the actual words · Label the picture or ask your child to label the pictures · Use describing words to talk about the pictures you see (big/little, shiny, etc..) · Ask your child to point to pictures throughout the book (“point to the doggy”) · If there are new words that your child doesn’t know, point them out and provide a short definition of the word · Ask a variety of wh- questions (“Where is the doggy? Who is in the tree?”) · If your child can’t answer questions verbally, encourage him/her to point to the answer · Pause to allow your child to fill in words that he/she may know After Reading · Ask questions to see what your child remembers from the story · Help your child to retell the story in sequence using his/her own words · Ask your child what he/she liked or didn’t like about the story · When you are reviewing the story, have your child recall all of the words that contain his/her target speech sounds and say them again for additional practice · Break out some paper and crayons and have your child draw his/her own pictures for the story · Read books with similar themes and talk about how they are alike and different · Remember that repetition is the key to learning – it’s ok to read books over and over again! I hope you incorporate some of these suggestions into your reading time to make it more meaningful for building speech and language skills!  2009 Katie has been a friend of mine and many of our mom bloggers for several years now. She has always supported the Cape Cod Mommies group and dream. We are proud to stand with her in her goal to help End Alzheimer's. Her story is not uncommon & it is something that many of us may have to face with our own parents & children someday. ~Amy Auction is now LIVE thru Sept 1, 2013!: https://www.facebook.com/events/414237335360425/ By: Katie Ginnetty My father has always been my rock. If you asked anybody that knows him about him, they'd tell you he is the nicest guy in the world. I have always been his baby girl (aka favorite. Sorry bros!) And I always will be. He was the greatest dad; always there to play, at every sports game, helping to study for exams, playing taxi at all hours (I could go on and on). He is the reason I am the person who I am today. He was an incredibly smart man, who was studying to become a brain surgeon in his early years, but as irony would have it, at the age of 58, he was diagnosed with dementia. I can't tell you how much I hate this disease. This disease forced my father into early retirement and his young age and home ownership allowed him to easily slip through many cracks, insurance-wise and in other financial ways. For a while he was still able to live alone at his house, but eventually came to the point where his doctor felt that he could not live alone anymore. He was too healthy for a nursing home (and we really didn't want him there anyway) and neither my brothers nor I were able to take him in or to live with him (we have all taken turns trying). We were absolutely torn on what was the next best move for him but we decided to sell his house in order to pay for an assisted living facility, which is private pay only. He moved in in August 2012 and currently resides in a memory care unit. Once his money runs out in a couple of years, he will have to move into a nursing home.  Summer 2013 We visit him as often as we can and he has his share of mediocre days and his share of not-so-great days. So far, he still remembers who we are, but just last week when I mentioned my mother's name to him (they were married for 15 years), he couldn't remember her. He also has no idea who Whitney (my daughter) is. He does not comprehend that she is my baby, nor will he ever be able to tell me her name. Watching somebody that you love so incredibly much, slip away from you right before your eyes is absolutely heart-wrenching. I can't fathom the thought that someday my father won't recognize my face. It's hard to accept the fact that things will probably never get easier, but there is currently no cure for Alzheimer's or dementia.
That is why on September 21, just 3 days after my father's 64th birthday; I am walking in the Alzheimer's Association Walk to End Alzheimer's. I walk in honor of the best man I'll ever know. The Alzheimer’s Association® is the leading voluntary organization in Alzheimer research, care and support. They are dedicated to finding prevention methods, treatments and an eventual cure for the disease. I pray that someday soon they will find a cure for this disease that is so tolling both on the affected individual and caregivers alike. My team and I plan to raise at least $1,750 for the Alzheimer's Association. We plan to raise some of this money through a Facebook auction in which all proceeds will be donated to the Alzheimer's Association through our team donation page. I am hoping to have the auction up and running by the week of August 19th. I currently have quite a few donations but am still looking for donations in the form of goods to be donated to the auction. If anyone is interested in donating, please contact me via a PM message on Facebook, or via email at ktd715@hotmail.com. If anyone is feeling generous and would like to make a monetary donation, you can do so here on OUR PAGE! Every dollar counts. My team and I appreciate any and all donations!! By: Naomi *** This blog is part of a series. If you want to catch up, please click here. Scroll own thru all the blogs by Naomi. “You are my sunshine My only sunshine You make me happy When skies are grey. You’ll never know dear, How much I love you. Please don’t take My sunshine away!”  I have always liked to sing. As a teenager I sang in the church choir, was in the chorus in high school, a couple musicals with the Drama Club, and was even selected for the All Cape Chorus. I sing in the car…mainly to the country music station, and quietly in my office at work at the end of the day along with the wide assortment of music on my IPod. Even though I have been in singing groups, not many people besides my children have actually heard me sing. I’m not a soloist. As a freshman in high school I had one singing line in “South Pacific”…”if you laugh at different comics…” I still remember being mortally afraid to open my mouth. Luckily my best friend sang the next line “if you root for different teams…” Without her there I probably would have fainted!  I’m not sure whether Riley enjoys hearing me sing her to sleep each night. At this point she really has no choice. She can’t run away or tell me to stop. She does fall asleep though. I hope it’s because she finds my voice soothing and not because I bore her! My selection of song choices is quite limited though. “You Are My Sunshine” is the most popular. I don’t even know if there are other verses after the first one, so I make them up as I go along. “You are my Riley, My baby Riley” usually is what I stick with. After singing those two over and over again, I resort to humming. By then she is usually asleep.  The other night, however she had difficulty actually getting to sleep. She had finished her bottle, we had cuddled and I had sang my one hundred verses of “Sunshine” followed by at least two hundred hummed verses. Nothing. She still laid there looking at me with her huge blue eyes. With all the music I know, I couldn’t think of a thing to sing. I tried just sitting there saying nothing, but she got antsy and thought that it was actually time to play so she started to “talk”. Nope, I wasn’t going to have that, it was bedtime. Nana was tired and was looking forward to going to bed to. Mind you, it is only 7:30 at this point. (Don’t judge me!) Some Toby Keith songs ran through my head…probably not really appropriate lullabies. Who wants their 1 year old running around at some point saying “who’s your daddy, who’s your baby….”? Lady GaGa was definitely out. Then I remembered two favorite hymns from church. As a teen I loved when I saw these on the Sunday morning program. Even as an adult they are still favorites. One reminds me of my daddy. It was his choice to be sung at his funeral. So I decided “The Old Rugged Cross” would make me to sad. So I chose the other. Two verses in and Baby Riley was ready to be tucked in. “Amazing Grace
How sweet the sound, That saved a wretch like me. I once was lost But now am found Was blind, but now I see.”  When a Girl Dreams Navigating Separation and Divorce in the Best Interest of the Child Part 1 by Tracy Lamperti, LMHC, BCETS Before we can address the issue of separation and divorce in the lives of children, we need to validate the experience of the adults. I distinctly remember sitting with a woman in my office who was hiring me to work with her children on issues surrounding her divorce from their father. As we talked over the nuts and bolts of the legal agreements, the history of the marriage, the fall and the readjustment, she had this weight that seemed so heavy to me. There were no tears, no significant anger, just the facts and the weight. I paused and said, “I’m sure this isn’t the fairy tale that you dreamed of as a young girl.” The flood of tears began. Without regard to who’s fault the marriage failure was, she had never acknowledged the sadness over the broken dreams until then. The media may like to have us think that marriage to the same person for a lifetime is a thing of the past. They would have us think that a girl no longer dreams of getting married, for we are now in the “better to never marry than to have to go through a divorce” generation, as if somehow the pain from broken relationships is avoided if the woman never wears the dress and the man never wears the tux and the two never say the vows. “For what do vows mean anyway? They can be broken.” Are you buying this new wave of thinking? I don’t deny that there are young girls who do not dream of getting married one day and having a family. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. They have other dreams. However, a great many girls will simply naturally dream of a man one day going down on a bent knee, taking her hand and asking her to marry him. So in this supposed new way of thinking, at what point does the girl change her mind? Has the supposed cultural wave impacted them so early as to alter the theme of their doll or Barbie play? Or is it in middle school, when, in my day, the girls were beginning to get excited about boys asking them to go to a movie, or walk down the hall together? Or maybe high school, when some girls are dressing up for prom? Or do the dreams remain intact until then and fall apart when the young woman goes to college or enters the work world? Yeah, I suppose. At any of these times, girls just really don’t care. REALLY?????? Well, let me say, many of the young women I work with in my practice are of the opinion that they want to have a decent and even wonderful man, and they want to have a strong marriage and family and avoid the mistakes that they grew up with. In fact, a good many of the young women out there desired a relationship, a partner, a “rock”, someone to love them, so desperately that they jumped the gun. They became intimate too quickly, maybe more than a few times, they became pregnant before the relationship could support a family, or they got married and did not have the mindset or the support to weather the storms that are naturally a part of most marriages…and THEN…they changed their mind about marriage, certainly not all women, hence the number of second marriage, but many. One of my favorite movies is Pretty Woman, with Julia Roberts and Richard Gere. I can’t give a link to the two scenes I want to illustrate, one because of profanity (one word) and the other because it is the final segment and some of you may want to see it if you haven’t. But I love this scene. Setting the wealth aside, how many girls DON’T want this?? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNYalWdtPSA Who believes that children are BETTER OFF with one full and one part-time parent, two part-time parents, or one full-time and one absent parent. Despite whoever and whatever groups are steering the culture, all credible research, shows that children are better off in a HEALTHY, intact family. But, as is the topic of this series of posts, that is not the case in the lives of a good many children. First, I want to say, don’t blame “marriage.” A healthy marriage is an excellent relationship, for men, woman, children and our culture. If your relationship or marriage failed, there may be a time in the future when you wish to seek a new relationship, and to assume that marriage is bad, gives you nothing more than out-of-court pain (unless there is a new child). As with any major, life-long endeavor, you need to be smart about it. Get help to not repeat the issues from the first relationship/marriage failure. Second marriages fail at a HIGHER rate than first marriages and you will want to crush the statistic, not reinforce it. Second, I am adult child of divorce. My parents did some things right and some things wrong. I suffered. I also developed useful skills and gifts to use in my life with others as a result of my experiences. My story was not one of going back and forth from one house to the other, but for example, children who can successfully master this have skills than even many older children do not have. Third, you love your children deeply, or for one, you wouldn’t be reading this. Parents like you are going to do everything possible to support their children, protect their children, love their children and ensure that their children’s needs are met. As you sort out all of your new roles, the new schedules, differentiate between the need for discipline and the need to cut your little one a break because of “all they have been through”, etc., you’ll be onto a new road. You can begin to look at your own pain from the broken relationship and begin to set new goals and direction for yourself. You’ll be able to size up your supports and see where there are some gaps that need to be filled, or even some “bad habits” or negative thinking that needs to be adjusted. Forth, generally speaking, people choose someone to be in a relationship that is not more than one developmental level above or below their own level. There are exceptions to this, but by and large, one level up or down. This gives hardly any room for taking the “high road.” Yes, I know. This statement will have many people angry at my and many people claiming they are the exception. I’m sorry, but not in my experience. The issues are different but comparable. An attitude of humility is very important in navigating divorce AND in considering a new relationship. To go into a new relationship feeling confident, because “my X was the one with the issues” is a slippery slope. Fifth, be aware of the messages that you are sending your children about this issue. Be sure that the messages that are coming across are the ones you really want to send. Please consider getting support if you are going through a major separation, married or not married, especially if you have children. Family and friends can be very helpful, but even just a few sessions with a specialist can make a big difference. Tracy Lamperti, LMHC, BCETS |
Parent Resource GuideTravel & VacationsCape Cod BirthdaysCape Cod Family
|
Cape Cod Moms Blog Mommies Mom Blog Parenting Blog Product Reviews, Stories, Resources, Calendar, Local, Support, Events
- Home
-
Mommy Blog
- The Parent Pod
- Cape Kids Cast
- Dads' Den
- Family Climate Series
- Family Dynamics Series
- Navigating Separation & Divorce Series
- Travel & Vacations
- Sex Abuse Series
- Book Reviews
- Interviews With ShopLocal Bussinesses
- Babysitting Safety Series
- Etiquette Series
- Home-School Series
- Love Series
- Infant Sleep Series
- PTSD Series
- About Us
- Calendar
- Parent Resource Fair
- Resources
- Directory
RSS Feed
