I was given an amazing opportunity recently to use the Daily Whisper Inspirational Card Decks created by Barbara Lemke!  She has various type of card decks to purchase however I was drawn to both the Kids and the Women decks. 

I was looking forward to seeing how my toddler would respond to these cards and was curious as to the conversations that would ensue.  I was also personally looking forward to checking out the Woman deck!

I was beyond thrilled that Barbara also sent me the Women's Whisper Deck.  I am going through a more difficult period in my life right now (we all have those times).  I find it hard to make time for myself and taking care of my mental health. 
The women's deck was also filled with affirmations and pictures of brightly colored flowers, which I found to be calming.

All of the cards spoke to me, but I found a few that seemed to apply more specifially to me in my situation.  After having a baby, I struggled with my body image (still do at times) just like the majority of other moms.  It's hard to feel beautiful and sexy when you haven't washed your hair, have spit up all over you and are in your sweats suffering from sleep deprivation as evidenced by those scary dark circles under the eyes.  I was also used to having so much contol and structure over my life that I found it hard to adjust to the things that would randomly come up as they do when you have children.   I wasn't going to have that spotless house where everythin was super organized and pretty.  I also had huge guilt for going back to work and had to come to terms with knowing that it was necessary for our family and that it would benefit all of us.   I had to release my need for needing control, to let it be, and just know that things will unfold as they are meant to.  These cards are a great way to give yourself a positive affirmation to focus on each day.  With the craziness of everyday life, we often forget to remind ourselves of these things.  As moms we are often the last people we take care of and do so only if there is extra time in the day (I know extra time? Who has that?)  But these cards are great because they are small and portable and fit right into my purse.  I can pull one out in the morning and set a positive tone for my day!

Below are some of my favorites!  If you haven't seen Barbara's cards yet, I HIGHLY recommend you do.  Whether they are for the kids or for YOU, they are great additions to the day.  If you have to pick one, I would pick the Women's deck because so few of us actually take the time to do our own mental helah self care and the Women's deck really makes it easy for us to do that! 
Find them on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BSLCreations  or on the web: www.bslcreations.com

Barbara Lemke, owner of BSL Creations and Daily Whisper Inspirational Card Decks, began her journey of educating and inspiring people in 1991 when she took a series of personal development courses that taught her to take charge of her life.  A “light-bulb” moment of realization occurred, and Barbara found that by taking responsibility for her actions, both good and bad, she could effectively change her outlook, and ultimately her position in life, by focusing on her strengths and keeping a positive outlook.  

In the mid-1990s, after completing her course-work, Barbara worked for “The People’s Network,” an educational television network dedicated to providing informational, and inspirational, programming.  After four years, Barbara decided to venture out on her own and bring her message to people in a new way – through the advent of BSL Creations, and Daily Whisper Inspirational Card  Decks. 

Beginning her focus with women, Barbara wrote and designed inspirational messages and artwork that focuses on using the strengths we all possess to successfully tackle and overcome obstacles faced in daily
  life.  After seeing the immediate impact her messages had on the women in her life, and receiving positive feedback from customers, Barbara decided to focus on the needs of children and teens as well.  Daily Whisper Inspirational Card Decks are now available for women, for children, and for teens – each set focusing on the unique challenges faced at these different life stages.
 
Today, Barbara’s cards can be purchased at craft fairs and online at her Etsy shop (www.bslcreations.com), 
and are now available for retail sales.   

It is of great interest to me, that a female tennis champion like Maria Sharapova feels free to do whatever it takes on a court to achieve her goal, including making this earthy, primitive sound coined "grunting" in front of a global audience, and when encourage a woman to make sound on her birthing bed  in the privacy of her family, more often than not, there is resistance.

Time and again, I witness women that allow themselves the
  freedom to express birth vocally will have shorter, easier more satisfying experiences. One of my teachers, internationally recognized  Bonnie Bridge Cohen  of BodyMind Centering elaborates.  She believes that sounding supports the  vitality and function of a tissue through toning.  Toning vibrates tissue and  when we direct our attention to the area of sensation, the tissue becomes more  alive.  In the case of labor, sounding can allow a woman to move easier through  a contraction because it will gently awaken her to her capacity to move at a  vibrational level.

Consider that our hesitation to sound is one of self  esteem.  Women like Maria Sharapova our coached intensely, daily, monumentally  to believe in themselves.  Such coaching may seem out of reach for many women  who are struggling with the day to day demands of caring for their young  children, careers, and running a household.  However, consider without a coach,  realizing one's full potential  is extremely difficult, maybe even impossible. 

You have available to you a committed, passionate experienced teacher  who wants nothing more than for you to realize how gifted and strong you really  are.  In the circle, we practice making sound which not
only helps us move  through resistance, but it also supports the goal of yoga; to remember our  vibrational origins.  So when you allow yourself the freedom to sound on your  birthing bed, consider that you chime in tune with all of creation.  Then you'll  have the support of an audience that far exceeds Wimbleton's!

Together,
Maureen
*reprinted with full permission from http://www.birthblessingsyoga.blogspot.com/

By Sung Bin
This month I thought it would be a good opportunity to focus on gratitude with Thanksgiving approaching. I didn't want it to be all  about the feast but about the appreciation for those around us we cherish.  We  crafted this sort of family tree together out of craft felt. Though my toddler  helped by choosing the colors I did do most of the project while she was napping  since there is some basic sewing needed. You can see the finished tree has some  simple sewn leaves of different shapes and then we hung them on some twigs and  branches from our yard. I made a sort of little pocket in each leaf to slip in  pieces of paper with the names of each family member per leaf and an extra one  for a mystery non-family member. Every day we pick a leaf and read the name off the paper inside. We  would do something nice for this person like write a thank you note, draw a  picture, send a postcard or call them to say thank you. Something simple but to  allow a small act to show how thankful we were to have this person in our lives.  Since we don't have a huge immediate family it wasn't quite as daunting to sew  enough leaves but I imagine you can probably put multiple name slips on each  leaf to save time. Along with the leaves I made two small banners 'give thanks'  but you can really put whatever you want. I hope to continue this every year and  that it might be a good tool for us to take some time to be appreciative.

Toddlers and Kids can be picky eaters and it can be tough to get good nutrition into them.  My Tiny
Toddler loves smoothies though so we get creative sometimes!  Here is our try with a Banana Spinach Smoothie with some extra goodies!  Now if only someone would sell those smoothie packs as refillable so I can just make my own all the time! 

~ 1-2 ripe bananas (or ones that you have frozen)
~ a handful of spinach leaves
~ about 1/2 cup frozen blueberries (frozen berries make it  cold and icy without having to add ice)
~ any other fruit you if you want to add, fresh or frozen
~ half of a small yogurt, or more if you like
~ a dash of liquid, either milk (dairy or non-dairy) or any kind of juice

 Tip: Blueberries, steamed baby carrots, Breyer’s vanilla ice cream, and almonds are all other options to include or substitute in. While red berries may seem like a good idea-and might taste good-they will turn the color a very unappetizing shade of brown)

Once “Family Movie Night” is established in your home, the whole family will look forward to this special time!  The whole package deal will be so cherished that even on a night when the movie turns out to not be as good as hoped for, or one child has to give in to another child’s choice, these things won’t even matter that much.

 ALL family movies should be filtered or pre-reviewed by parents, no matter who recommends it. 

Please follow the link at the bottom for tools that are good for filtering and Tracy Lamperti’s “Favorite Family Movie List.”  


Schedule the Date
You might want to have a “family night” and rotate movie night, game night, special dinner night…don’t worry so much about frequency.  Families can have lots of spontaneous moments of fun, but in establishing traditions, planning is very important, especially for busy families and to help children learn the advantages of thinking ahead.

Be Prepared
Make sure you have the movie on hand, that you have looked at reviews, previewed the movie if you feel necessary and have a “plan b” in case you need to abandon the first choice.
 
Make it Fun
Parents are very busy these days!  Try not to convey the message that “Family Movie Night” is a chore. 
Establishing FMN can be a bit of work but once your family has all of the rituals down, it will go smoothly.  
         
 - Consider ordering or making pizza or something else your family really likes and is easy for you to prepare.  
         
- Bring out the comfy pillows and maybe blankets or sleeping bags.

- Set the lighting for the right mood.

- Boundaries are helpful. Once the movie starts we all settle down and watch.  Schedule a potty break or snack/drink refill break. Too many disruptions reduce the fun factor.

Have Good Snacks
Traditional movie theater snacks can be a fun treat for FMN.  Cups with covers help to avoid accidents that disrupt the movie and upset everyone.  Be careful about sugar so close to bed.    

Set a Theme
Take turns deciding who picks the movie or if there will be a special theme, such as holiday or comedy. Some family members are really creative and plan snacks around a theme or
even make crafty movie tickets or funny hats!
  
Plan
Especially for younger children, showering and getting pjs on ahead of time can help to avoid issues like children being too tired to do those things after the movie. It is best to keep it to just washing hands and brushing teeth after the movie.  Try not to get started too late.
  
Filter Distractions 
Turn off your ringer.   Shut down your social media.  Children are more perceptive than we sometimes think. 
They will know if you are not fully present.  The kids should put their devices away as well.  
 
No Skipping
A good policy is that on family movie night, the whole family watches the movie. It is just understood that in good faith, a movie will be chosen where there is a reasonable expectation that everyone will get something out of, even if they have to stretch themselves.  It is good to bear with one another and participate with one another as a family, because we are a family.  The same concept applies for family meals.  We work together and give and take when it is or isn’t our favorite.  Children feel good about participating even if the movie (or meal) wasn’t their choice. Children learn in families, about taking turns, treating each other nicely and working together.  Sometimes they realize they have actually enjoyed the movie, when they assumed they would hate it.  But even if not, we are a family and we support each other and enjoy life with each other, even when we aren’t getting our own way.  Increase the fun factor of family movie night so that even when it isn’t Johnny’s night to choose, he will want to come because of the other factors.  
 
Uh-oh, that movie wasn’t a good choice.
Yes, we sometimes have regrets after a movie.  At times when you feel that you have exposed your child to a theme or experience that was not appropriate and you did not have the wisdom at the time to turn it off, be sure and talk about it afterwards.  It is important to tell our children when we have erred in our judgment and exposed them to something that we then regret.  There are also times when something may seem harmless at the time and then you see your child playing out a theme that makes you uneasy and you know exactly where they picked it up.  Maybe your child is strutting around like a sassy character on a Barbie movie, or maybe having bad dreams.  Use this opportunity to connect with your child, guide them and build trust with them.  You might think your new sassy Barbie daughter needs scolding, but it actually might be most appropriate, especially if this is a bit out of character or more extreme than usual for your daughter, to have a little motherly sit-down and point some things out.  “I notice you’ve had a bit of an unfriendly attitude lately, like when you……………. yesterday. I’m thinking that this is kind of like the attitude of …………on the Barbie movie that you have been watching.” Continue the conversation and try to engage your child in sharing some insight that they might have, now that you have pointed it out.  Suggest, “Let’s take a break from Barbie for about a week and see if the friendly you comes right back. “  It is the same thing with nightmares or other behaviors.  “I’m noticing that these bad dreams started after you watched that lava scene on Star
Wars.  We may have made a mistake watching that scene.  Let’s not watch it again for awhile and I think you will start sleeping better pretty quickly.”

“It was fine.”
 All too often, I hear parents say,“Yes, they (a 4 year old) watched Indiana Jones.  They were fine.  It didn’t seem to bother them at all.”  Typically, children stare at the the  screen.  They listen and they watch.  An occasional child will hide behind a chair until a scene is over, or cover their eyes or ask a parent to turn it off.  But the MOST common occurrence is for children to sit and stare.  Some parents will interpret this as everything being fine. It’s better not to bank on that. We have to guide and direct our children and that includes helping to be  their filters in the world.  There is so much that we don’t have control over, AND there is SO much that we do have  control over.
 
“I’m preparing them for the real world.”
I have also heard many parents say that they have let their children watch movies with profanity or other bad behavior and rationalize it by saying, “but we talked about it and they know we don’t allow that kind of behavior.”  Some parents rationalize by saying it was a “good” thing because it provided an opportunity to talk about that kind of behavior and why it is not  acceptable.  This is also a weak argument that is only possibly strengthened by the type of behavior mentioned vs. the developmental stage of the child and maturity level. Foul language or surly themes in a movie are simply unnecessary, add nothing to the movie and should be filtered out.

 “Favorite Family Movie List”  
http://174.121.3.221/~tracylam/Favorite-Family-Movie-List.pdf
 
I would love to hear about what your family does to make movie night special!

Post your stories on my fb:
 https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Lamperti-CounselingConsultation/205305462892981

 
email me lamperticc@gmail.com or send me a note on my “contact” page at www.tracylamperti.com
Thanks,
Tracy

Cape Cod Mommies is excited to add once again to our Board of Advisors!  Join us in Welcoming:
Gabrielle Hathaway, M.S., IBCLC!
Gabrielle is an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant and holds a Master's degree in Health Communication and a B.S. in Maternal/Child Health. been a La Leche League Leader for 12 years and an IBCLC since 2008.Gabrielle works part-time for the Outer Cape WIC program, counseling mothers and teaching classes in both breastfeeding and parenting. She has a love for children and a desire to support and empower mothers. Gabrielle and her family live in North Eastham. 

We look forward to her blogs and advice! You can contact Gabrielle at:
Gabrielle  Hathaway, M.S., IBCLC
P.O. Box 202,North Eastham, Ma 02651
508-237-8786
 ghathawaylactation@gmail.com
http://hathawaylactation.blogspot.com/

To keep the original post easy to read we have embedded the document within the page.

About Pamela 

Pamela uses her past experiences and hard-won successes to guide people from the darkness of difficult and controlling relationships to the lightness of  feeling strong, confident and sexy.  She does this by helping them take on and  achieve regular challenges with success, learn to treat themselves with kindness  and respect, set and meet high expectations for themselves and finally, tap  their innate charisma and get their sizzle on!

Pamela earned her Certified Professional Coach (CPC) credential from Fowler-Wainwright International and her BA in English Literature from Georgetown  University.  She has been writing and teaching professionally for over 20 years  but continues to learn and improve her talents, gifts and skills with experience  and training.  Her unique background includes PR and marketing for the US Army  and a natural wood finishes manufacturer (both in Germany), translations from  German to English for a global retailer, choreography and dance instruction for  theater, plus English language training for foreign executives.  Pamela has  written travel articles, a regular column on cultural differences, book reviews,  guest blog posts, her own weekly blog and eZine and she speaks on radio and TV  shows.

Her most recent exciting news includes her inclusion as a featured coach on the Expert Panels of two major websites: Go Big! Coach Kristen Howe’s www.LawofAttractionKey.com and savvy businesswoman Kerry  Swetmon’s www.LifeBusinessGrowth.com. In addition, Pamela has been added  to the Speakers Bureau of B.I.G. Women’s  Network in Massachusetts.

Helping others increase their confidence levels has become Pamela’s passion  because she learned the hard way how important confidence really is for success  in love and relationships, parenting, career and business, friendships and life   in general.  She wants to spare others the hard, dark journey she took and set  them on a bright, happy path as quickly as possible!

 To learn more and schedule your own complimentary SPARK   Session, contact Pamela today.

Join me in welcoming the newest addition to our Cape Cod Mommies Advisor Team: Maurene Merrit, RN! We look forward to her blogs and expertise!!!

Maurene Merritt, RN is a holistic practitioner, teacher, and writer. She has an extensive background in holistic  childbirth education including developing and teaching the first partnered yoga  childbirth education program in a major Boston Medical center. Presently she is an employee of Falmouth  Hospital where she serves as a maternity nurse and is active with the integrative medicine department. She also has a private practice where she calls  herself CapeYogaGirl. 
Visit her website: www.birthblessingsyoga.com or www.birthblessingsyoga.blogspot.com

We get stuck.  On our mats, it is called "inflexible", on our birthing beds, "failure to progress", and on paper, a "writer's block".  And whether it's our bodies not opening or our paint brush or words not flowing, our desires can lead  to unimaginable frustration. In such moments, we are tempted to force the outcome, or in the case of our creative expression where sheer force would only hinder progression, we either give up after reaching a multitude of dead ends or  worse yet fail to begin the exploration.

However, when we look to our ancient, sister yoginis who journeyed the long, narrow road to enlightenment,  consider that it would be  beneficial for us to breathe, listen, and wait.  More often than not, when we  begin something new, change is slow, even barely perceptible. It is when we  persist with confidence, at some point, soon after we have allowed ourselves to move beyond our feelings of hopeless and despair, it happens. What is a ordinary  perception of our selves wanes and we become privy to our granduer. In such  precious, unbound moments, our bodies fold into our creation and we give birth  to our babies, books, and elation!

We  look back on the fruits of our  labor and like our lovely Heather Benway of the circle declared of her
birth  story, want to hear the words over and over again. We feel awe, how could something so amazing, so brilliant, so original come out of us!   Consider that our effort in waiting is well worth our creation.

Below are 7 yoga practices to help  us move beyond.

1. Close the door. Surrender requires feeling safe. 

2. Breathe. Keep your breathe fluid and even. There is a synergistic relationship between the mind and the breathe. When the breathe is  balanced, your mind will follow.

3. Focus. Give your attention to something that you love that is still like a plant, coat, or perfume bottle.

4. Listen. You know more than what you think you know. 

5. Change. Do something different if you don't feel movement frequently.

6. Feel. Allow your desire to drive your effort.

7. Persevere. Never give up, keep the course until the very end.

*reprinted with full permission from http://www.birthblessingsyoga.blogspot.com/

Children tell me,“We could…go for a family walk, have a family movie night, a family game night would be fun, a ‘special’ dinner night……..doing one of these things once a week would help me.  It would help our family.”  I invite Mom in, or Mom and Dad, who sincerely want their child to feel better and be happier, and they nod a tentative nod that tells me they are thinking something like, “How can I add one more thing?”   

Too often, the child returns to therapy the next week, the family having not done the family activity. Many children are so protective of their parents, and understand how busy their parents are, so they are readily prepared to defend all of the reasons that it was not done.  Many children feel that they are either the reason for a problem, or are trying desperately NOT to become the reason for the problem.  There are many family scenarios, this just being one.

Is your family having a hard time making a commitment to at least one quality family time per week? 

1. With both parents working in many families, or one parent working overtime, it is often hard to find the time.

2. Are you stressed about your job or money, you may be tired, on edge, just need some time to yourself?

3. Is the marriage stressed?  Are you trying to avoid family time, because you don’t want to end up in a fight with your wife (husband), especially in front of the children?

4. Siblings who have already decided that their friends are where it’s at, not their siblings.

What are the Benefits of Spending Time Together as a Family?
1.      Stronger Family Bonds
2.      Greater Academic Success
3.      Fewer Behavioral Problems
4.      Less Likely to Engage in Violence
5.      Lower Risk for Substance Abuse
6.      Reduced Risky Sexual Behavior
7.      Greater Intimacy Among Parents
8.      Siblings Fight Less (get along more!)
9.      Family Members Come to Trust Each Other More and Can Count on Each Other More
10.  Children Open Up More With Parents and Share More About Their Experiences Outside of the Home.

What Kinds of Activities Constitute Quality Family Time?
1.      Family game night
2.      Family movie night
3.      Easter Egg decorating
4.      Special Family dinner night
5.      Walk on the beach
6.      Game of catch
7.      Pumpkin decorating
8.      Raking leaves together, and other “chores”
9.      Gingerbread house kits

Check out this site for a lot of“frugal” ideas for family time! http://www.frugalcapecod.com/

What are the Guidelines for Quality Family Time?
1.      No Skipping -  “Family” time means no one skips out.  Sure, you can have Mother-daughter (or son) time, or Father- Daughter (or son) time, but family time is everyone.  It is in families that children learn about taking turns, treating each other nicely and working together. Sometimes they realize they have actually enjoyed the time together, when they assumed they would not.  But even if not, family is family and family supports each other, even when someone isn’t getting their own way.  

2.      Pre-planning -  We want our children to plan well enough that their homework gets done on time, or their chores get done before they are saying goodnight and we are asking, “Did you do your chores?”  This is a learned habit and we have to teach them.  Talk with everyone early in the week, maybe at dinner about what they would like to do.  Teach them how to plan and based on age, work together to make it happen. For example, if it is a Saturday night movie, don’t wait until Saturday morning to try and get a consensus and then assume that you will agree AND you will be able to obtain the movie.

3.      Unclutter – Children and parents, make sure your obligations are met so that you won’t be distracted or tempted to say, “Oh, the children look happy and settled with the movie. I’m going to slip away and do some work around the house, or check my social networks”.  Be fully present.

4.      Capture Memories – Take a picture, even if it is the family lounging in their pjs watching a movie. Talk about the best parts of the time together and what each person might change next time or an idea that was sparked for next time.  
 
5.      End Well! – When saying goodnight, tell your children, even if every aspect of the family time didn’t go as well as you hoped, that you are so grateful that you were able to spend the time with them, that you are glad to have him for a son (or her for a daughter).  Point out something that they did or said that you took note of.  If they struggled with a negative attitude, point something out about how you want to help them work on not always being first, for example, or how you were pleased when they started getting along.  Share something similar you might have struggled with as a child.  Connect, connect, connect.  After all, (s)he will be borrowing your car not long from now :), if they aren’t already.

During the month of November Tracy will provide the “recipe for success” with family game night, dinner night, dessert night (yummy!) and other great ways to bring your family closer together for happier more confident children, a more personal relationship between parents and tips for single parents as well.