 The Family Meeting 2015 By Tracy Lamperti, LMHC, BCETS Lamperti Counseling & Consultation Introducing! The Family Meeting 12 Session Course! As 2015 approaches, many have already been thinking about their hopes, dreams and goals for the coming year. For moms, you might be thinking about how you might squeeze in a little bit of “me” time for getting some exercise for those “shapely” goals. Dads out there, you might be thinking about how to get a few nights each month for some time to yourself, working on your car or a project or maybe joining that volleyball team. Undeniably, parents are also thinking about how to be better parents and how to create a more fully and successfully functioning family life. · How can we get the children to stop fighting, do their chores, read books? · How do we actually make “family movie night” or “family game night” happen? · Our children NEED their parents to make time for date night. The children might not know it, but they really do need their parents to make some special time for just parents. How? When? Parents might be noticing that there is a lot of “bad news” coming through their TVs, radios and social media walls. You might be thinking about how “home” can be a safe haven for your children from it all. Parents want home to be a safe place where children can learn about peace, solving problems, working together, loving one another. In a culture where very often both parents are working, children of all ages are involved in multiple activities, there are financial burdens and not only are parents passing like ships in the night, but parents and children are lacking regular meaningful connection as well. At “The Family Meeting” 12 session course, beginning Friday, January 2nd, 2015, parents will have the opportunity to follow weekly or space out sessions at whatever interval works for their family. Appropriate for families with children ages 5 to 16, however, younger and older children are welcome and encouraged to participate. Opportunity for question/answers/comments/troubleshooting via The Family Meeting on Facebook. Included topics and related worksheets: · family meeting format · implementing teamwork strategies · communication strategies · taking turns leading the family meeting · taking turns recording the minutes of the family meeting · integrating brief teaching moments · passing down family values · problem solving · learning how to distribute household responsibilities · helping children learn how to be accountable for their responsibilities with pride, rather than having to punish them to get the job done · building traditions · impromptu family meetings for urgent matters $15 per family with sessions delivered via email in pdf format! Payment via paypal (payment button will be available soon at www.tracylamperti.com) or USPS at: Lamperti Counseling & Consultation 26 Wampum Dr. Eastham, MA 02631 As always, if I can be of any assistance to you, please contact me at: 
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 Join us for a very special Valentine event on February 7th, 2015! Why Etiquette? 16 Reasons By Tracy Lamperti, LMHC, BCETS Lamperti Counseling & Consultation To explore the class offerings and the Valentine Event, please click here. 1. It’s fun! 2. When young people are taught how to navigate social situations, they feel confident. 3. When young people are taught different ways to show kindness, they feel peaceful. 4. When young people feel confident and peaceful they behave in a civilized manner. 5. The news is saturated with stories about people acting in uncivilized ways. We can change the tide with etiquette instruction. 6. With proper instruction, it will be less likely that people will decline invitations to dances, dinners, ceremonies, parties and the like because they are too anxious or uncomfortable about going. 7. When people know which glass or bread bowl is theirs, which fork to use or whether they are supposed to take their used plate back to the buffet for seconds or get a new one, they will experience less anxiety and fewer embarrassing moments. 8. The basic practice of nice posture, good eye contact and a proper handshake will leave a lasting impression to the receiver. They might not even know why they liked you best out of all of the job applicants, but they WILL like you best. 9. When children are taught to present themselves well as a way of earning respect and this is practiced and instilled over the years, they are going to think twice as teens about becoming drug or alcohol intoxicated, because they know they will experience an inability to maintain their dignity when they are under the influence. It won't feel good or right. 10. A person who recognizes and respects proper behavior will more likely choose a boyfriend/girlfriend who emulates the same qualities. Keep this fact in mind...a person ALMOST ALWAYS chooses a partner not more than one emotional, behavioral or intellectual level above or below their own. 11. Those who are trained and taught to value excellence will strive for excellence. They are people who will want to set goal after goal and be better and better than they were the time before. 12. These young people will be a joy to have in class. 13. They are taught problem solving skills. They learn how to slow down and think a situation through AND to think on their feet. There's much less of an instinct to lash out. Kindness is emphasized in lieu of kicking and scraping through a difficult situation. 14. Kindness is emphasized in helping people recognize their own feelings when they have been left out or ignored or passed over, for example at a gathering when no one spoke to them, or the first day in a new school and the students didn't include them. In turn, they take the opportunity to recognize the left out and make others feel welcome rather than stay in their comfort zone with their own friends. 15. Learning the value of self-respect is like “drawing a line in the sand.” Such as, “This is the way one behaves socially. To behave in another way is distasteful, regardless of the circumstances.” In this instance, it doesn’t matter if someone is annoying them unintentionally or purposefully trying to start something, one maintains their composure and thinks through their options. 16. Old day etiquette held more absolutes AND our culture (and the world) was just more saturated with people who grew up learning by example or instruction and correction. There weren’t so many distractions and choices. In our day, we see that the anchors of social skills and customs have fallen by the wayside. Choices and distractions abound. Bringing back some of the anchors will make us a kinder group of people. It will help us develop closer, more meaningful relationships and be more fulfilled. a. We can send invitations by about a dozen social media sites, via our computer, smart phone, flip phone, friend of a friend and other ways I probably don’t even know about. Whereas, there were essentially TWO ways to invite a friend to your house, either in pen and paper form or person to person. b. We can mail or hand out personalized Christmas cards to our loved ones a good friends, OR we can do a mass mailing or social media tweet to every acquaintance, whether we have even met them in person or not. Bringing back some of the anchors will make us a kinder group of people. It will help us develop closer, more meaningful interactions. c. In days past, people were concerns about the needs of their neighbor and those in their community. Today, we bury our heads in our computer screens with conflict all over the world. We post our opinions about it. We judge others who don’t see it our way…these issues that are worlds away. We can even become outspoken in our own community about these far-away issues, alienating ourselves and others who we interact with every day. The Golden Rule - “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 7:12 To explore the class offerings and the Valentine Event, please click here.  By: Megan M I always envisioned that being a stay at home mother would consist of perfectly executed macaroni crafts and a spotless house and a wonderfully, well rested mother. Clearly, I must've been drunk when I had these thoughts because that is not what is going on in my house. Not now. Not ever. I have two small boys, Carter and Max, who are a day shy of being 18 months apart. Now by "small" I mean that Carter (my baby) will be a year in almost a week. I know, I know, clearly I have a death wish and should have a drinking problem by now. I love staying home and raising my dudes but, it is far from being all puppies and rainbows. It has actually taught me some very, very deep life lessons. 1. Don't be so judgy. I was always the first one to gasp and say "oh my gawd. I would never!! How could she?" Listen unless you are in the persons exact situation, which by the way is super unlikely, back the eff off. You wouldn't like it if the shoe was on the other foot!! Have some compassion and empathy for your fellow mommy!! Shit is hard! We all do the best we can and have different ideas of what the best is for our families. So unless it's gross negligence, can it sister because I'm pretty sure you are far from perfect and don't have a lot of room to cast the first stone. 2. Shower time is sacred time. Showers are the one time I am left completely alone and can relax.....so what if I'm in there for 45 minutes, leave me alone! I just need a minute to not be needed and clung to and screamed at and asked for something. I just want to shave my legs for Christ sakes. I looked forward to my solo shower just to sit on the floor of the tub and blank out. So if you disturb me and get a jail house shank fashioned out of a tooth brush lodged in your thigh don't act all surprised! Fair warning. 3. I will never, ever be THAT mom. You know the mom that does all the amazing Pintrest projects and posts them to Facebook and makes every snack so it's organic and does every imaginable play group and class with their children. THAT mom yeah it's just not me. I have come to terms with this and mourned the death of my inner Donna Reed. I play in the mud with my kids and go on bug and salamander hunts, let them drink from the hose and I don't hover at the play ground, I (gasp) let them fall and learn from that digger....with in reason of course. When they need help they ask for it. I want them to be able to be free thinkers and realize when something may not be such a sweet idea. Belly flopping off the couch onto the hard wood floor is one of those ideas just for an example of the shennanigans my kids pull off. For me it works. I can't protect them from everything all the time. I don't allow them to stick objects in outlets or run with scissors....ya know that kind of stuff. And when I've had a long night with a sick baby, yes I let my toddler have a G Dammit cookie at breakfast just so he will shut it for 2 minutes so I can pee or put on a clean shirt. Don't get greedy mommy! 4. You will no longer have personal space or boundaries. I am the only female in my house and as awesome as that may sound, there are some interesting questions that my 2 1/2 year old asks. For instance why Mommy's peepee is "all gone" or where my "boobies gone". You kid, they are gone because you legit sucked the life out of me...for 18 straight months. Now I have to save my allowance for a new pair. Selfish children. Oh and please don't think that I actually say this stuff to my kids. I don't and I mainly just have an all day sarcasm fest in my head. Lets face it, I can be kind of, shall we say, inappropriate for most. I haven't peed with the door shut or slept in my bed with out a little human in it for years and that shit messes with you. 5. Your kids will have to come second sometimes. Ok, I am NOT talking about spoiling myself with a $300 purse or any of that crap. I am talking about mentally and emotionally taking care of me. I have to put my health first so that I can take care of my kids the way that they deserve to be taken care of. I go with out constantly and am always the last one on the list and I am perfectly ok with that. I feel that when it comes to my marriage and my own mental and physical well being, I need to be priority because if I am a hot mess then I am of no use to anyone! 6. It's a lifestyle. 24/7. End of discussion.  So here is the skinny: I grew up on the Cape and have lived here pretty much my entire life give or take 3 years. I am a stay at home mom of 2 little boys who are a day shy of 18 months apart. My baby will be 1 in December and my oldest turned 2 in June. In my pre-mommy life I worked in the medical field for over 10 years. I am really honest about what it's like to raise my 2 gremlins and try to find the humor and sarcasm in the midst of all the chaos. My boys and my husband are my world but I do get to "escape" and work a couple shifts a week outside of the home. I want to be able to give my take on being a mom, wife and woman in this crazy world and talk about the things everyone thinks but no one will say! I hope you enjoy!
 By: Rebekah Thomson, Pediatric Sleep Coach
This is the second part of a series dedicated to laying a good foundation for sleep with babies under six months of age. If you missed the first part, click here. Infant Sleep Tip #2: Create a flexible feeding and sleeping routine A flexible routine does not mean a minute-by-minute schedule, but rather a sensible framework so that full feedings and sleeping are prioritized. Almost every sleep book on the market agrees that in general, an “eat – active time – sleep” cycle (in that order) is beneficial. In other words, feed your baby “up.” When she wakes, give her a full feeding (and burping). Then encourage her to stay awake for a short period. This is the time to engage with your baby, give her some tummy time, take her outside, etc. How long this active time should last is dictated by her age (wakeful windows get increasingly longer) and your baby’s cues. When she starts to show her sleepy cues – yawning, rubbing her eyes, zoning out, mild fussiness, etc. – you’ll know it’s time for her to rest. This cycle can be continued throughout the day, at least until the afternoon when her central nervous system is more taxed. The beauty of this routine is that it makes parenting easier. Infants don’t differentiate their cries right away, so it can be hard figuring out why she’s not happy. However, if you know she has had a full feeding, she’s been appropriately stimulated, and now she’s fussy, she’s probably ready to sleep. On the other hand, if she’s had a partial feeding because she fell asleep during the feeding, it’s hard to read her cues. Is she hungry again? Did she not rest enough? Is something else wrong? The “eat – active time – sleep” cycle brings other advantages too. It helps to disassociate falling asleep and eating (though it’s fine for infants to fall asleep at the breast/bottle sometimes). And for babies dealing with reflux, having upright time after feedings is crucial. Contact Rebekah Thomson for your Sleep Needs! Rebekah Thomson Counting Sheep Pediatric Sleep Coaching rebekahjthomson@gmail.com (917) 455-3054  A special thanks to Piczzle for providing Cape Cod Moms with a free product to review on our blog and another to do a giveaway! By: Wendy I recently ordered a Piczzle picture puzzle and was pleasantly surprised by the experience. Logging into their website and uploading a photo were a snap. Luckily my in laws had just sent us some vacation pictures so I selected one based on how well it would translate to a decently difficult puzzle. I chose a shot with them being a little silly which I thought would make for a good surprise as the kids built the puzzle and they were in a lush green area which I thought would add to the challenge of the puzzle. Then came by biggest goof – I wasn't sent the full size picture file, I had just saved it from facebook so the resolution wasn't so great.  Once put together the puzzle looks pretty good but deciphering leaves and shadows and concrete made for a tricky build. I had one corner that got a tiny bit smooshed, but it folded back over. I selected the 48 piece puzzle in hopes this puzzle will have more longevity as a project my kids will enjoy. Smaller numbers of pieces are available for a puzzle that is more kid friendly.  So there are plenty of options to make your experience even better than mine with this product. Use a high resolution photo and choose the correct number of pieces for the puzzle ability of your children. The quality materials and the attention to packaging make this a great gift! Check out Piczzle on Facebook or YouTube!  Piczzle - your own puzzle from your special image. Piczzle Giveaway |
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