Category: Etiquette Series

Etiquette Boot Camp Comes to Town!

7/3/2017

Etiquette Boot Camp Comes to Town!

Get your kids in shape for the next family dinner, social gathering or formal event at Etiquette Boot Camp this summer!

The course is designed for kids ages 7 to 17 and will teach them how to start and maintain conversations with adults and peers, how to introduce themselves, when NOT to use their cell phone and much more. Children will learn how to set the table, use their napkin, pass food and use utensils the European and American way.

The four-hour program is taught in an entertaining setting with their peers, and is specifically developed for two different age groups targeting the social challenges affecting today’s youth.
The instructor for the Boot Camp is Ms. Pejic, Program Director of The Etiquette Academy, and a former protocol staffer for His Royal Majesty King of Jordan.

Session One will be held at DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel Cape Cod in Hyannis on Saturday, August 19th, and Session Two will be held at The Cape Club in East Falmouth on Sunday, August 27th.
Etiquette Boot Camp for ages 7 to 12 will take place from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. and Etiquette Boot Camp for ages 13 to 17 will take place from 2 to 6 p.m. The fee for the 4-hour program is $199.

For more information visit TheEtiquetteAcademy.org or call 617-608-3920.

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Why Etiquette? 16 Reasons

12/15/2014

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Join us for a very special Valentine event on February 7th, 2015!

“In our day, we see that the anchors of social skills and customs have fallen by the wayside. Choices and distractions abound. Bringing back some of the anchors will make us a kinder group of people. It will help us develop closer, more meaningful relationships and be more fulfilled.”

Why Etiquette? 16 Reasons
By Tracy Lamperti, LMHC, BCETS
Lamperti Counseling & Consultation

To explore the class offerings and the Valentine Event, please click here.

1.      It’s fun!

2.      When young people are taught how to navigate social situations, they feel confident.

3.      When young people are taught different ways to show kindness, they feel peaceful.

4.      When young people feel confident and peaceful they behave in a civilized manner.

5.      The news is saturated with stories about people acting in uncivilized ways. We can change the tide with etiquette instruction.

6.      With proper instruction, it will be less likely that people will decline invitations to dances, dinners, ceremonies, parties and the like because they are too anxious or uncomfortable about going.

7.      When people know which glass or bread bowl is theirs, which fork to use or whether they are supposed to take their used plate back to the buffet for seconds or get a new one, they will experience less anxiety and fewer embarrassing moments.

8.      The basic practice of nice posture, good eye contact and a proper handshake will leave a lasting impression to the receiver. They might not even know why they liked you best out of all of the job applicants, but they WILL like you best.

9.      When children are taught to present themselves well as a way of earning respect and this is practiced and instilled over the years, they are going to think twice as teens about becoming drug or alcohol intoxicated, because they know they will experience an inability to maintain their dignity when they are under the influence. It won't feel good or right.

10. A person who recognizes and respects proper behavior will more likely choose a boyfriend/girlfriend who emulates the same qualities. Keep this fact in mind...a person ALMOST ALWAYS chooses a partner not more than one emotional, behavioral or intellectual level above or below their own.

11. Those who are trained and taught to value excellence will strive for excellence. They are people who will want to set goal after goal and be better and better than they were the time before.

12. These young people will be a joy to have in class.

13. They are taught problem solving skills. They learn how to slow down and think a situation through AND to think on their feet. There's much less of an instinct to lash out. Kindness is emphasized in lieu of kicking and scraping through a difficult situation.

14. Kindness is emphasized in helping people recognize their own feelings when they have been left out or ignored or passed over, for example at a gathering when no one spoke to them, or the first day in a new school and the students didn't include them. In turn, they take the opportunity to recognize the left out and make others feel welcome rather than stay in their comfort zone with their own friends.

15. Learning the value of self-respect is like “drawing a line in the sand.” Such as, “This is the way one behaves socially. To behave in another way is distasteful, regardless of the circumstances.” In this instance, it doesn’t matter if someone is annoying them unintentionally or purposefully trying to start something, one maintains their composure and thinks through their options.

16. Old day etiquette held more absolutes AND our culture (and the world) was just more saturated with people who grew up learning by example or instruction and correction. There weren’t so many distractions and choices. In our day, we see that the anchors of social skills and customs have fallen by the wayside. Choices and distractions abound. Bringing back some of the anchors will make us a kinder group of people. It will help us develop closer, more meaningful relationships and be more fulfilled.

a.      We can send invitations by about a dozen social media sites, via our computer, smart phone, flip phone, friend of a friend and other ways I probably don’t even know about. Whereas, there were essentially TWO ways to invite a friend to your house, either in pen and paper form or person to person.

b.      We can mail or hand out personalized Christmas cards to our loved ones a good friends, OR we can do a mass mailing or social media tweet to every acquaintance, whether we have even met them in person or not. Bringing back some of the anchors will make us a kinder group of people. It will help us develop closer, more meaningful interactions.

c.       In days past, people were concerns about the needs of their neighbor and those in their community. Today, we bury our heads in our computer screens with conflict all over the world. We post our opinions about it. We judge others who don’t see it our way…these issues that are worlds away. We can even become outspoken in our own community about these far-away issues, alienating ourselves and others who we interact with every day.

The Golden Rule - “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 7:12

To explore the class offerings and the Valentine Event, please click here.

Tracy Lamperti, LMHC, BCETS
Lamperti Counseling & Consultation

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Thank You Notes - Etiquette Series pt 3

7/14/2014

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“A handwritten thank you note sent through the postal service is like a priceless gift to the giver. Whether your child is just old enough to make marks with a crayon, or has just completed six college application packets, they can and should send one.”

The Fine Art of Etiquette: Thank You Notes

By Alison Weiner, Student Intern

Lamperti Counseling & Consultation

Photography by Kelly Cronin Photography, taken at Chatham Bars Inn, June 7th, 2014

            In our fast pace world filled with text messaging, instant messaging, and email, it has become the norm to speed through each day and effortlessly communicate. The art of writing an eloquent and precise thank you note has slowly slipped away. What has replaced it is the easily written email or text message, which we can now send from any place at any given time. However, by failing to send a thank you note, we are allowing ourselves to slip into the mediocre category and be forgotten like yesterdays junk mail.

            A good thank you note does not require a huge amount of time, money, or effort; yet it does make all the difference in the world. An effective thank you note takes only three simple sentences; the words may be brief but the message is immense and the lasting effect is dramatic.

·         The first sentence should include the “thank you for”; a way to thank the person for the gift or opportunity.

·         The second sentence should elaborate on the importance of the gift or opportunity and what it means to you.

·         The last sentence should focus on further developing a relationship or trying to create future plans.

Taking the time to write a thank you note allows you as an individual to stand out from the pack; whether it is after an interview or simply thanking a neighbor for a kind deed, your gratitude will be more warmly felt and memorable.

“If you have had a delightful time at a gathering, it’s just like a gift and sending a thank you note will warm the heart of the host or hostess.”

A thank you note is a gift in and of itself. The handwritten thank you note speaks volumes to an individual’s character and allows that individual to stand out from the crowd of simply well mannered people. It shows a small, but appreciated, investment of time taken to express thankfulness.

·         It is important to remember to always hand write your thank you note.

·         It is never too early to learn how to write a thank you note; if your child can hold a crayon they can create some sort of thank you card.

·         A thank you note can often lay the building blocks for a stronger relationship and a much more intimate and meaningful one at that.

“As adults, we have a special duty to young people to be a fine example. Sending a thank you note, a note of encouragement or a note of recognition will not be quickly forgotten, and some children will remember your special note and the message you sent forever.”

It is easy to brush off the importance of a thank you note and feel that it will not make a lasting impression; however, not sending a thank you note, can make you appear rude and unappreciative.

·         Teaching your child to express sincerity is an important part of thank you notes, for example adding special touches such as saying “thank you for the bracelet- I love it!” is better than simply saying “thank you for the bracelet”.

·         If you really want to help your child learn the art of thank you notes, it is fun to have them write little thank you notes for random acts of kindness. Your child will get to practice their thank you notes and the receiver will have a pleasant surprise that may make their day.

·         Most important, remember to lead by example, if your child sees you writing thank you notes, they will follow suit!

            Text messages and emails are a dime a dozen in this generation; we must find a way to help our children be unique and show a sense of gratitude and appreciation for those people who help them in life.

A September class has been posted on www.tracylamperti.com and on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/events/696309457104882/.

Spaces are limited. Please contact Tracy Lamperti if interested.

Alison Weiner, Student Intern
Lamperti Counseling & Consultation
Tracy Lamperti, LMHC, BCETS
Psychotherapist, Educator, Consultant

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Cape Cod Fall Etiquette Series With Tracy Lamperti Now Open for Registration!

7/9/2014

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Put manners together with confidence and our young people are going to be winners and leaders!

Back by POPULAR demand, Cape Cod Mom Adviser Tracy Lamperti has posted her upcoming Etiquette Classes for September. Space is limited so call, email, whatever you need to do so you can get in to these amazing classes! For more information on her classes check out the Etiquette Series!

Tracy Lamperti, LMHC, BCETS
Psychotherapist, Educator, Consultant

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The Fine Art of Etiquette - Pt 2

7/7/2014

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“Btw, exceedingly crunchy bacon should be picked up with fingers, even in a fancy restaurant, otherwise, cut with fork and knife.”

The Fine Art of Etiquette

If we don’t teach them, and give them opportunities to practice, why would we expect them to use these skills?

By Tracy Lamperti,
Psychotherapist, Educator, Consultant
Photography by Kelly Cronin Photography, taken at Chatham Bars Inn, June 7th, 2014
Etiquette Series

Beautiful Smiles!

Let’s face it. Our children have beautiful smiles! There are lots of ways to get a smile. I saw this on a tea bag once and a Google search credits it to Phyllis Diller. “A smile is a curve that sets everything straight..” I’m all too guilty of being too rushed to just reflect the smile back to my children or to calm their worries with a smile. The Shake How many times have you experienced an awkward handshake? The other person doesn’t make any indication that they are going to make their hand available for a shake. They extend their hand but it just hangs there. They shake so firmly that inside your head you are saying, “What the heck!? Too firm!” Very often, children don’t expect that others are going to acknowledge them with a handshake. When an adult, or even another child extends their hand to your child, I’m sure you would feel best if your child had the experience and confidence to reach out their hand. In class we practiced weekly handshakes and even had some fun with it. We evaluated, “Too firm.” “Awkward.” “Wet noodle.” “Just right.” Here, you can see a very confident young lady practicing her skill, with her younger sister looking on.

What to do with the Napkin?

If you look around at the guests at your own table and neighboring tables you will see that it is entirely NOT obvious to many what should be done with the napkin. In class, our girls took great pleasure in unfolding their napkin to the half fold and placing it on their lap with the folded side at the waist and you can see them using this skill at the Chatham Bars Inn!

Pleasant Conversation

“A little silence is normal. A lot of silence is awkward. Pleasant conversations and don’t leave anyone out.” These were my words every week to the small groups of girls practicing tea and cookies.

It isn’t a big surprise that without guidance and expectations, girls and boys can find their topics trailing off on the silly and even rude path. Next thing you know, you’ve got a giggle attack! Don’t get me wrong. I have had my share of Thanksgiving dinners where someone, inevitably ends up blowing milk out their nose because of that cousin who can’t keep it appropriate! That might be fine for slumber parties or beach picnics, but not expected during most dining experiences.

In class, we had some girls who knew each other and some who didn’t. They learned how important it is to notice when someone isn’t contributing to the conversations and how to bring them in. You all know, there are adults who haven’t even mastered this skill.

Fingers or Fork and Knife?

In class we played a guessing game with a list of foods for this question. I was very impressed to hear the girls quietly and politely asking how to approach the bacon at CBI. The beauty here…they had been taught to ask questions if they weren’t sure, and they did ask. They remembered the game and its purpose. They desired to do it correctly and their questions were based in wanting to eat their bacon confidently, rather than be nervous about making a mistake. Btw, exceedingly crunchy bacon should be picked up with fingers, even in a fancy restaurant, otherwise, cut with fork and knife. However, two fingers should be used rather than gripping the bacon like an ice cream cone. Here you see our youngest student, 5 years old!!! happily and confidently attending the very fancy breakfast at CBI (and loving her bacon)!

Sorry no classes posted yet. Will do asap. I’m gearing up for a trip to Arizona for intensive training in hypnotherapy. Still planning classes for September.

Put manners together with confidence and our young people are going to be winners and leaders!

Tracy Lamperti, LMHC, BCETS
Psychotherapist, Educator, Consultant

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The Fine Art of Etiquette

6/30/2014

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“Contrary to what many people think, intelligence is a poor predictor of personal, academic and professional success. Emotional IQ is where it’s at!”

The Fine Art of Etiquette
By Tracy Lamperti,
Psychotherapist, Educator, Consultant
Photography by Kelly Cronin Photography, at Chatham Bars Inn,
June 7th, 2014
Etiquette Series

The benefits of teaching young people manners and etiquette are seen at home, in the community and in the classroom. There is such enormous pressure, pretty much from when the child is in the womb, to begin stimulating their brain. It is all well intended. We want our children to be smart and successful. I’m sure “smart” and “successful” are equated with happiness. From headphones channeling classical music through the belly, to Little Einstein videos for our pre-talkers, to interactive electronic games with bells and whistles for our toddlers, to ipads for all ages, we are trying to pave the way for our children to a successful future.

I’m not criticizing or saying these things are bad or even unnecessary. Look at me here. I’m barely out of my first trimester and I’m infusing my little one with Mozart!

But more and more, our children are entering preschool lacking the skills of “please and thank you.” We, as a culture have normalized this by saying that this milestone comes later, AFTER they have experienced the social world of preschool. Somehow they move on to kindergarten with much of their alphabet under their belt, but still no “P’s and T’s” without being prompted.

Aside from the fact that it is just refreshing to be with a happy, polite child (even if they don’t know the whole alphabet or how to count to 100), there are good reasons to undertake a diligent effort to teach our children these skills of social grace, equal to, or greater than the efforts that are going into academic knowledge.

·         Proper behavior, manners and knowing how to present oneself are the backbone for confidence, self-respect and respect for others.

·         Contrary to what many people think, intelligence is a poor predictor of personal, academic and professional success. Emotional IQ is where it’s at!

·         Harvard University Stanford Research Institute, and Carnegie Foundation found that 85% of our career success depends on social skills.

·         43% of teachers in public schools spend more time dealing with behavioral issues than they do teaching. (April 2003, Public Agenda)

·         In an ABC News Poll in 1999, 85% of respondents felt that the world would be a better place if we just said “please” and “thank you” more often.

·         Someday, everyone is going to be at a school dance, banquet, dinner, church service like a wedding or a funeral, on a date, invited to the girl/boyfriend’s parent’s house for dinner. In my experience, people are often reluctant to go to special events, or suffer unnecessary levels of anxiety because of not being sure about how to act or what to do.

Studies also show that children are more receptive to instruction and direction on issues of manners and etiquette from non-family members in a learning setting.

It was such a wonderful experience teaching this group of nine girls and enjoying our last meeting at Chatham Bars Inn. To see these young ladies practicing their newly learned skills in such a beautiful environment was an experience for all of us!

I have heard the request for a boy’s class and there is one in the works. I look forward to teaching many more young people these valuable skills that they will carry with them wherever they go.

Check in on next week’s blog post for a link to new classes, beginning in September!

Put manners together with confidence and our young people are going to be winners and leaders!

Tracy Lamperti, LMHC, BCETS
Psychotherapist, Educator, Consultant

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Etiquette Boot Camp Comes to Town!

Why Etiquette? 16 Reasons

Thank You Notes - Etiquette Series pt 3

The Fine Art of Etiquette: Thank You Notes

Cape Cod Fall Etiquette Series With Tracy Lamperti Now Open for Registration!

The Fine Art of Etiquette - Pt 2

The Fine Art of Etiquette

The Fine Art of Etiquette

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The Fine Art of Etiquette: Thank You Notes

The Fine Art of Etiquette

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