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By: Naomi *** This blog is part of a series. If you want to catch up, please click here. Scroll own thru all the blogs by Naomi. “You are my sunshine My only sunshine You make me happy When skies are grey. You’ll never know dear, How much I love you. Please don’t take My sunshine away!”  I have always liked to sing. As a teenager I sang in the church choir, was in the chorus in high school, a couple musicals with the Drama Club, and was even selected for the All Cape Chorus. I sing in the car…mainly to the country music station, and quietly in my office at work at the end of the day along with the wide assortment of music on my IPod. Even though I have been in singing groups, not many people besides my children have actually heard me sing. I’m not a soloist. As a freshman in high school I had one singing line in “South Pacific”…”if you laugh at different comics…” I still remember being mortally afraid to open my mouth. Luckily my best friend sang the next line “if you root for different teams…” Without her there I probably would have fainted!  I’m not sure whether Riley enjoys hearing me sing her to sleep each night. At this point she really has no choice. She can’t run away or tell me to stop. She does fall asleep though. I hope it’s because she finds my voice soothing and not because I bore her! My selection of song choices is quite limited though. “You Are My Sunshine” is the most popular. I don’t even know if there are other verses after the first one, so I make them up as I go along. “You are my Riley, My baby Riley” usually is what I stick with. After singing those two over and over again, I resort to humming. By then she is usually asleep.  The other night, however she had difficulty actually getting to sleep. She had finished her bottle, we had cuddled and I had sang my one hundred verses of “Sunshine” followed by at least two hundred hummed verses. Nothing. She still laid there looking at me with her huge blue eyes. With all the music I know, I couldn’t think of a thing to sing. I tried just sitting there saying nothing, but she got antsy and thought that it was actually time to play so she started to “talk”. Nope, I wasn’t going to have that, it was bedtime. Nana was tired and was looking forward to going to bed to. Mind you, it is only 7:30 at this point. (Don’t judge me!) Some Toby Keith songs ran through my head…probably not really appropriate lullabies. Who wants their 1 year old running around at some point saying “who’s your daddy, who’s your baby….”? Lady GaGa was definitely out. Then I remembered two favorite hymns from church. As a teen I loved when I saw these on the Sunday morning program. Even as an adult they are still favorites. One reminds me of my daddy. It was his choice to be sung at his funeral. So I decided “The Old Rugged Cross” would make me to sad. So I chose the other. Two verses in and Baby Riley was ready to be tucked in. “Amazing Grace
How sweet the sound, That saved a wretch like me. I once was lost But now am found Was blind, but now I see.”
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 By: Naomi *** This blog is part of a series. If you want to catch up, please click here. Part 5 Today is Saturday. I go to court about Riley on Monday, July 1st. I have motioned the court for permanent guardianship. Right now Riley is taking an afternoon nap. It might be her only one for today. She has never been an expert in the napping category. While she sleeps, I can reflect on the past 8 months that she has lived with me. I don’t know what to expect on Monday. At this point the decision lies in the judges’ hands. I hope I can convince him that the best place for Riley right now is with me. She is loved to the ultimate extreme, is clothed and fed and protected. She is content and extremely happy. She has a chance to visit her other grandparents frequently and she has made “baby friends” at her daycare. She has not a thing to worry about. Maybe at some point she will be able to be reunited with her birth parents, but for now it is best that she remain with me and her Grampy.  The other day my daughter and I visited a friend in the hospital who had just had a baby. He entered the world at 8 lbs 14 oz. He was so tiny. I kept saying to Haley, “Oh my gosh, remember when Riley was this little?” I often think of the day she was born and I wonder if I had not agreed to take her when my son asked me, where would she be now? I am pretty sure she would have been removed from her parents and placed into the foster care system. This makes me wonder about the whole “Nature vs. Nurture” theory that I learned about in school. Riley has an amazing personality. She is full of joy and laughs almost all the time. If she is not laughing, she is making me laugh with her silliness. Not many babies wave at the American flag. Riley does! At all the flags she sees! Which convinces her daycare providers that she will certainly become the first woman president. She is a very patriotic baby! But would that particular Riley have emerged had she not lived with me? What would her world be like? Would she have met a horse? (She visits Haley’s horse quite often.) Would she have been exposed to all the things she has seen so far in her short 9 months…the ocean, French fries, the chaos of Stop and Shop on a rainy July day?  I have asked many people this question. Most often the answer is the same….Riley has become Riley because of me and the family she has around her. I am quite humbled by this. I don’t feel as if I have done anything “special.” I did what I had to do. It was my job as a grandmother to make sure Riley has the best of
everything. That she can grow and develop and become anything she wants to become. It takes me several days to complete each edition of my “Just Call Me Nana” blog. Since Riley is crawling and pulling herself up now, I write when I have a couple of free minutes. Today is the 4th of July. Today is a day to celebrate America’s Birthday. For my family, it is a day to celebrate PERMANENT GUARDIANSHIP. Thank you Judge Ryley…you have made this grandmother VERY HAPPY!  By: Naomi Pt. 4 *** This blog is part of a series. If you want to catch up, please click here. It’s funny how as you get older things take on a whole new perspective. I remember when I was a kid and people would say to my parents “Look how she’s grown!” I would think, “What the heck are they talking about…I’ll never be a grown-up.” The yard at my parent’s house was HUGE. My daddy and I would sit up against a tree and watch the traffic go by. I would try to toss berries into the street, but the street was much to far away. My berry never even got close. Our driveway was so long that it would take forever to ride my bike to the end and back up to the fence. Funny. Now I am an adult, I live in the same house that I did as a child. The driveway is certainly not THAT long. It probably would only take a minute to ride a bike to the end and back. The yard is a good size…but certainly not HUGE and that tree my daddy and I leaned against, is a stone’s throw away from the road. It’s all about perspective. I was small…so things were big.  As a grandparent, the same idea of perspective seems to apply. When my children were babies it was so important to me that they reach all the “milestones” at exactly the appropriate ages. Smiling, crawling, pulling themselves up, walking, talking. I would listen to my friends with children to make sure mine were at the same stage, or maybe even more “advanced”. When my daughter entered Kindergarten she was reading my old “Dick and Jane” book. I thought that was amazing, until another parent mentioned that her daughter was reading 4th or 5th grade level books. “What’s wrong with MY daughter?” I worried. How silly. Of course there was nothing for me to be concerned about. My daughter learned to read and we just celebrated her college graduation. The idea that I even dared to compare my children to anyone else’s seems so trivial now.  I look at Riley who will be 9 months old later in the month and instead of rushing her to the next stage, I marvel at all the things she has already accomplished. I watched her learn to crawl with a whole different perspective. Each day that she lay on her belly
flopping like a seal, I knew that she was developing her muscles so that she would eventually figure out how to crawl. The first time she picked up a cheerio and made it to her mouth, on her own, was a triumph. Today I see her fine motor skills have come so far from that first fumbling time. The delight in her eyes when she picks up a rattle and realizes that if she shakes it a cool noise happens, makes me smile. I see her learning about the world around her and instead of “wishing” that she would hurry up and walk or talk, I instead realize that the past 8 months have flown by. She has gone from a one month old, sleeping and eating most of the day away, to a tiny person who interacts with her “baby” friends at daycare. She waves to people across the room and babbles to her Grampy and I telling us some wonderful stories. If only I could understand what she was saying! Its all about perspective. July 1st I return to court to see what the future will bring for Baby Riley and I. A year ago I would never have thought I would be in this position. The idea of entering a court room for any reason was scary. Now, looking at it from a different perspective, I realize that that “scary” room holds my future.  By: Naomi Pt. 3 *** This blog is part of a series. If you missed the first post and want to catch up, please click here. I’m a crier. Not like a town crier…hear ye, hear ye; but an emotional crier. I cry at everything and anything. Movies, books, tv commercials. I cried when Ol Yeller was shot, when Ariel said “good bye” to her daddy in The Little Mermaid, and yes, when Bambi’s mother was killed. Ask my daughter what I was like by the final act of Godspell at her college last spring! Each episode of A Baby Story has me blubbering by the end. I guess you could say I am an “emotional mess.” That being said, you can imagine what I was like the actual day Riley was born. It was a long day, but at 5:05 pm, when her tiny head poked out, I was sobbing. “She’s beautiful” I kept telling the nurses and the Douala, “Look at those perfect little lips.” “Yes…” they said smiling. In their heads I’m sure they were thinking “Now get out of my way so that I can do my job!” I stood just mesmerized by this tiny person who had just entered the world. I touched her tiny fingers and tiny toes counting each one. I looked her up and down and marveled at her perfect construction. I was convinced she was the most beautiful baby that had ever been born at Heywood Hospital! As of now, Riley has been living with me for a little over 5 months. I haven’t counted how many diapers I have changed or bottles I have made. We’ve been to the doctor for check-ups and immunizations, ear infections and tummy troubles. We’ve visited WIC for formula and A Baby Center in Hyannis for diapers and wipes. So many people I know have given us clothes and toys, a highchair and an exersaucer, and I have received many positive responses to my blog. Riley and I are grateful to have been blessed with so many friends. And even with all the positives that have occurred, I have shed many tears.  Having a baby at 50 was not on my bucket list. My daughter is about to graduate from college this month and is engaged to be married in the near future. I was an
“empty nester,” yet all of a sudden I have the responsibility again of an innocent being. Gone are the impromptu dinners out with my boyfriend. Or getting in the car with my daughter and driving around playing “tourist”, just because we can. Going out to dinner now requires planning. Packing a diaper bag and being sure to be home early enough to put Riley to bed and get to bed myself. My sleeping hours became shorter, since Riley is usually up by 5:30 each morning. (I’ve always said that if sleep were an Olympic event, I could probably place, getting the gold medal!) Lack of sleep has always caused me to cry. Since I work during the week and so does my boyfriend, who would watch Riley? For those that don’t personally know this story or me, I have to tell you now, that I have the most awesome boyfriend on earth! From the day Riley came to live with me, he stayed home with her so I could go to work each day. I would get home in the afternoon, and he would go in to work. This was the norm until just recently when I was able to get her into daycare…first part time in a private home and then full time when a spot became available at a daycare center. Yes I cried because I had to put her in daycare (I would have loved to be able to stay home with her like I did my own children when they were infants), but more so from guilt. This was my granddaughter yet he was willing to sacrifice his time to help us. I’m pretty sure that not many guys would have stuck around. (He deserves a medal for just putting up with me!) But behind the tears, I would never have chosen a different path. Having this baby in my home is simply amazing. Watching her grow and change from day to day is such a rewarding experience. (Have I mentioned that she’s crawling now?!) To know that I am, for the time being, responsible for molding Riley into who she is going to grow up to be is such an enormous task. I can only hope the job I am doing so far is my best. ***Stay tuned.... comment below and share your thoughts with Naomi!  By: Naomi *** This blog is part of a series. If you missed the first post and want to catch up, please click here. Pregnancy lasts 9 months…40 weeks….roughly 280 days. While waiting, the soon-to-be mom (and dad) are preparing the nursery, buying the crib, car seat, stroller, diapers, bottles and cute teeny tiny clothes. Checking and rechecking the list to make sure everything is simply amazing for the arrival of the new family member. Then they wait…and wait…and wait AND wait some more until finally it’s time to meet their bundle of joy. Sounds perfect, right. Well in the case of baby Riley…it didn’t quite work that way. Don’t get me wrong….Riley spent “almost” 280 days in the comfort of her mother’s belly. Although she did decide to make an appearance a few days early. The car seat and stroller, crib, diapers and bottles were all waiting at the apartment. Cute girly clothes were folded in the dresser. A teddy bear sat patiently in the crib. My daughter and I spent an entire afternoon clearing Sears baby section of anything remotely adorable! Haley stuffed a diaper bag with any baby item which embossed a monkey or a lion. At one point I turned around to see the shopping carriage overflowing with stuff! “Ummmm, we really can’t buy ALL that” I said. “I can’t decide which theme I want. But she HAS to have this 101 Dalmatians blanket.” I could already tell, this baby was not going to want for much. From either her grandmother or, so it seemed, her auntie.  Now let’s fast forward…Riley is a month and 13 days old. I have just left the court house with the papers saying I have been appointed her “temporary guardian” for the next 90 days. When I got home I realized…I had NOTHING! Even though Riley had been spending the past few nights at my house, she had been sleeping in her play pen, which was now called a “pack and play” I learned. I had her diaper bag with some diapers and wipes, a can of formula and a couple bottles. A few random outfits and a couple toys. Other than that, I was not “ready” for the arrival of a baby at all. This was so weird…and SO frustrating! It had been over 22 years since I had to think about the things an infant needed. I knew she would have to have her crib, which was luckily at her other Grandparents house a few towns away. Riley’s parents had been living there for the past few weeks until the situation changed and they decided to move back“ off cape” to figure things out. Until then, my empty laundry basket, padded with soft blankets lying right next to my side of the bed was sufficient. But what else would she need?
I decided to take a trip to Babies R Us. The whole idea of Babies R Us was new to me. I don’t even think the store existed when my kids were little. I had shopped at Sears and Kmart and Bradlees for baby things. Now there was a whole store focusing just on babies! What a cool concept that was! I went with a few things in mind. More bottles, some burp cloths, a mobile for the crib and of course some clothes. I was amazed at what I found. Things certainly had changed in 22 years! Who knew that there were mobiles with remote controls? Or pacifiers that glowed in the dark? A sleep sack?! Just roaming around the store convinced me that having an infant in the house again was going to give me a run for my money. That I was sure of. ***Stay tuned.... comment below and share your thoughts with Naomi!  By: Naomi I told EVERYONE…the people I work with, the cashier at the grocery store, relatives, ALL my friends on Facebook… I mean everyone!! I was so excited. I was going to be GRANDMOTHER! Sure it wasn’t the best of situations. My son and his girlfriend were not married, they didn’t own a house or have steady jobs, but I was sure they could work it all out. I mean, I was GOING TO BE A GRANDMOTHER! My first thought was what shall this little person that was about to enter our family call me? Grammie, Grandma, Granny, Na-Na The possibilities were endless. I polled the people I work with. It’s funny but there were 3 of us all do to be grandmothers within three months of each other. What were they going to be called? One was going to be ‘Grandma‘, another “Grammie”.I decided on Nana…after trying it out in my mind first. “Want to go shopping with Nana?” “Look honey, Nana made you some cookies.” “Wanna sleep over at Nana’s?” Yup…that was it. I was going to be NANA! My son and his girlfriend lived about 3 hours away from me. I called often to find out how she was feeling. She called me after each doctors appointment to let me know what they had said. I gave her “expert” grandmotherly advice; “don’t forget to take your prenatal vitamins“; “yes, your feet will be swollen but just remember to sit down and rest often.“ I had her take a picture of her growing belly. I was really getting into this. After the ultrasound, I asked if I could have a copy of the picture which I hung in my office at work and showed to all my co-workers. I am a cafeteria manager at an elementary school, so the produce deliverer saw the ultrasound, the bread man saw the ultrasound, I’m pretty sure you understand where I’m going with this! Then we found out the baby was going to be a girl! A GIRL!!! More excitement. I have two grown children. My son and my daughter. While there was tension over the years with my son, my daughter and I were thick as thieves while she was growing up. She was now in her Junior Year at college, had a boyfriend and I was missing her terribly. A granddaughter! I could relive those precious years that I missed so much!  The day finally came…nine months of waiting, a baby shower later, many phone calls, and several “false labor” visits to the hospital, on September 23, 2013 at 5:05 pm we welcomed Riley into our family. Being in the delivery room was the most amazing, emotional experience I have ever had. So much different to be on the opposite side of the delivery bed. To see that perfect little girl enter the world was unforgettable.
Weighing in at 7 pounds 11 ounces (my son and I joked about her being 7-11, like the convenience store) and 20 inches long, she was the most beautiful little girl I had ever seen. ( Besides my own “perfect” babies of course.) This Nana thing was going to be AWESOME. I love kids. I think they are amazing. So innocent and fun. Because I work in a school, I am lucky enough to meet the children as kindergarteners and follow them all the way through 5th grade when they “graduate” and leave my building to enter middle school. Although I’m just a“lunch lady” I have formed some pretty close bonds with some of the children through the years. Two years ago I attended the graduation of a young lady who was in my “first” kindergarten class. We have remained close through her thirteen years of public school and I was honored that she invited me to hear her Valedictorian Speech at her graduation. She is now a college Sophmore nursing student. Last summer, I babysat for a little girl who is now in the 1st grade. Yup…kids are definitely “my” thing. I have it all. I’m a Nana, a mom, and I get to work with kids everyday. My kids have grown and moved out and have started their own lives. I did a pretty good job raising them as a single parent, I thought. Well , imagine my surprise when my son asked me to take baby Riley while “they got their lives together.” In one instant, my whole world was turned around. Pregnant couples have 9 months to prepare for the arrival of a baby. I had three days. Three days! This is my story. My story of unconditional love for a bundle of joy named Riley. |
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