 Here, I'm just like every other kid on a swing. By: Melinda Lancaster There are times, as a parent of a child who cannot communicate, that I have no idea what my child is thinking, why she cries, why she laughs, why she says “ow”. None. Why does she sometimes burst into tears…is she thinking of her sister so far away, is she lonely, is she missing someone, did something happen? Is she thinking of all the things she can’t do, is she grieving the loss of what she might have been? I do. Not as much as I used to, but I do. There are many parents who will understand this, those who've lost their children, those who have severely disabled children, and others whose children aren't. But, I can only speak for me. Once, I had a perfectly normal baby girl, one who was going to grow up, fall in love, have her heart broken, who would want me to “do” her hair, and put on makeup. She would go to the prom, be a scientist or a teacher or an astronaut or none of those things. She would get married, I would dress shop with her and cry when she found “the one.” I would watch her change her name with a kiss and cradle her children in my arms. And, then….I didn’t.  Doing my part to find a cure. Poof. All those dreams sucked from my heart in one fell swoop of “your child will be disabled for the rest of her life.” Did I love her less? Of course not. But grieve, oh yes, I did. I cried for days. She was not one bit different than the day before, but I was different. I was now a special needs parent. How can that happen in just one moment? One moment you’re a normal mom, and you’re just wondering…”I wonder why she’s not talking anymore?” It’s just a wonder, not a real worry, just a thought, almost discarded. And then it’s YOU, the normal regular ole mom full of dreams that you have to discard. But, you adjust. You do. You move ahead, because what else can you do. But then, Kindergarten comes along, except no one cares about your child’s class on parent night. No one’s even there when you go. You don’t get to meet the teacher, see the other students. And that little tiny bit of normal you were hoping for, well that’s just sucked right from under you again. And the playground, full of laughing, running children is hard to face, as you place your child in the baby swing at seven because she can’t hold on yet, but you do it because you know a smile will greet you and it’s a little gift of normal, a part of a dream you once had of taking your perfectly normal baby girl to the playground and watch her play. It’s not exactly the dream, but it’s close, and close is good in this world of special needs.  Somewhere in all this lies the answers to every question. These sorts of moments come when you least expect them, the ones that almost break you. Like when you realize Halloween will never ever be fun and you stop dressing her up for it. Or when there aren’t any children at her birthday party and she never has a sleepover and she never, not even once, gets an invite to someone else’s birthday party that isn’t family. And JUST when you think you’re through, you have no loss left to grieve, bam, she’s a senior and she should be going to the prom, but even if she could, you’d never find a dress to fit, and who would take her-no sweet boy, who was so nervous he could barely get the words out and then jumped up with a fist pump because she said “yes”. But, there are great joys that counter all of that. A new skill, a new word, snuggles beyond the teenage years. And while I now realize there will be times I will grieve what could have been, the journey for a special needs parent, at least me, is to learn that the achievements are sweeter, the laughter more melodious, and the adage that “something worthwhile is never easy” becomes more true. So, that’s why against almost all the odds, I strive to teach my daughter to read, to communicate, and on more basic levels to feed herself, to find ways to open the world to her despite her limitations. And now I have new dreams and hopes. They are no less wonderful, because what could be more wonderful than putting a book in her hands and having her understand. I know that “what might have been” will stay with me, though Time will lessen its pull, but Hope for what might be, that’s what’s filling up the space left behind. ~Melinda Melinda Lancaster is a children's author and a poet. Her books ("Tyler and the Spider" and "Grandma, Tell me If You Can) are published through Wiggles Press and her poem "Echoes" hangs in the Hyannis JFK Museum. After studying
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 By: Melinda Lancaster One of the challenges I feel I face while trying to teach my daughter how to read is correlation and her attention span. One of the apps that I use that addresses both of these issues is Educreations Interactive Whiteboard by Educreations, Inc. And it’s FREE!! When I first downloaded Educreations, I had no idea what it could really do. Shame on me! I went back to it a couple of months later and started to play and now I LOVE it. I felt the best way to demonstrate its potential was to make this short video. While I am sure there are some limits to what you can do, I have not been stymied by it yet. Here are some real positives about this app- Lessons are recorded in the parent’s voice There is no limit to how short or involved you want to make the lesson But, the two I like the most are 1. The ability to show correlation in the way you feel suits your child best and 2. Since it is much like a video it holds her attention. And knowing her attention span limitations, I am guided as to how long and involved to make the plans. There are many videos on YouTube that can help you reach this app’s full potential. Parents, educators and children have multiple options ranging from font color and using your finger, stylus or text to using your own photos to images from the Web. Lessons can be multiple pages or just one.
From blank white page, choosing a color, then a picture and you get THIS- 
In addition to what you and your child can create, Educreations has a website where educators and other parents have shared their lessons as well. And, as you can see, there is a large selection of study areas, and each of those has multiple lessons at every different age level and ability. 
This is a fantastic app. The price can’t be beat. And your child can create his or her own videos as well- a real motivator if they have the ability.
Happy Spring and a good day to all. Melinda Lancaster By: Melinda Lancaster When writing for young children, rhyme is the name of the game. Rhyming exposes children to one very big lesson- words that sound the same share the same letters at the end (most of the time, there’s always exceptions). Children equipped with this knowledge are more likely to “get” that adding letters to the beginning of “at” can make “cat”, “mat”, “rat” etc. 
Now, lots and lots of books rhyme, even my book “Tyler and the Spider”, but the undisputed master of rhyme, is Ted Giesel, otherwise known as Dr. Seuss. And, some of his best known works are the best apps that we have on Katie’s iPad. One of the HUGE advantages to these apps is that the physical copy is easily available and reinforces the whole process of reading. Katie finds it very hard to swipe, so she cannot “turn” the app pages, but she can turn a book page, and is learning how to follow along that way 
Just a few of the Dr. Seuss books available!
It also reinforces that the same thing can be in different formats. I feel this is an important lesson as well. One day it may help her understand that a picture card can mean an actual item or event and help her communicate this way. Another cool feature of the Dr. Seuss apps is that many come with the capability of recording different voices, instead of a stranger’s voice, mom and dad, grandparents, siblings etc. can all record themselves reading the story. This will definitely make your child more attentive. It also presents the ability for YOUR inflection, the emphasis you want to put on one word over another to be heard, and you can add things like, “turn the page,” or “can you find…. These books for the most part are straight up books, the characters don’t jump around if you touch them, which I like (an app can sometimes be too busy and overwhelming with different noises and constant activity) BUT you have options for “Auto play”, “read along”, or “read myself” and words highlight on Auto play and read along as the story is being narrated and if you touch a picture the word jumps out in large letters and is spoken, all very important tools in learning to read. Some people put the “closed caption” option on the TV to help reinforce reading as well, and this is much the same principle.
The only downside to these apps, is that they’re on the pricier side, usually $3.99 apiece. But the App Store now offers a group of five books for $14.99, a decent savings. The other set of books I’d like to mention are the “Miss Spider” books. These were free when I got them, but are now $2.99, totally worth the price. There are two, Miss Spider Bedtime Story and Miss Spider Tea Party. Each comes with two narrated options, “Read” and “Watch” and three games, “Match”, “Paint”, and “Puzzle.” The “Read” is the narrated book; you’ll have to turn the sound off if you want to read it yourself. The downside here, the words don’t highlight. The “Watch” is a video, the graphics are great and it expands upon the story, but there are no words to look at; kids will really enjoy it, though. And the games are fun and will keep children entertained. What I like is the comprehensiveness of this app. There are several activities that reinforce each other, giving the child and caregiver opportunities to talk about what they read or watched.
Unlike the Dr. Seuss books, though, the physical books are not as readily available, though I’ve seen Miss Spider’s Tea Party at the local library. There is also an iPhone app in Spanish for Miss Spider Tea Party, unfortunately it no longer comes on the iPad. Beyond apps, teaching rhyming can be fun and easy and is a BIG step in reading. One way Katelin and I study rhyming words is on her chalkboard easel. I’ll write a list of “at’s” or “it’s” and add a letter to the beginning of each, starting with the second one down. I also use blocks as a manipulative way, finding the “a” and “t” and then handing her other letters and helping her put them in front of the “at” to spell different things. There are a myriad of ways to introduce rhyme, and a library full of rhyming books nearby. In the words of Dr. Seuss……”the more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go!” Happy Reading! Melinda Lancaster Melinda Lancaster is a children's author and a poet. Her books ("Tyler and the Spider" and "Grandma, Tell me If You Can) are published through Wiggles Press and her poem "Echoes" hangs in the Hyannis JFK Museum. After studying By: Melinda Lancaster Good day to all. As I have been thinking about what to write about in my first real blog post the “Sound of Music” came to mind and the song “Do, Re, Mi” and the lyrics, “start at the very beginning, it’s a very good place to start. When you read you begin with A,B,C…..” so there you go! A,B,C it is! Of course, reading is the number one way to get kids interested in reading. Dr. Seuss is my all-time favorite for this. The crazy antics of his characters and the ridiculous situations are appealing to children and rhyme is one of the best ways for young children to hear words and how they sound alike, but mean different things. Dr. Seuss’ ABC book is a classic. I have read that so many times to Katelin that I have it memorized and use it while we talk about the ABC’s in almost every context. (Mind you she is 20, so having it memorized is not as weird as it sounds!) So, the next few blog posts will be about the ABC’s, not so much how to teach them (because I can only speak for what works for Katelin and I) but some of the aids, manipulatives and apps we use to facilitate the learning of the ABC’s. One of the more prominent tools that I use for Katelin is her iPad. The “Yes and No” app is one of the few ways she can communicate with the general population, but we use it mainly for education. So, today I am going to compare two Apps-both “Magnetic ABCs” I downloaded tons of “lite” versions of apps and the following two were the best that suited our needs. I found many of the other selections to be so limited or annoying, with too much going on, music, animation etc. I find that for Katelin, when teaching the basics, basic apps are better. The first is ABC-Magnetic Alphabet by Dot Next. This app has many good things going for it, but the lite version is totally useless as it only offers the capital letters. There are two other versions, one which I purchased (I think is one $1.99, but in app-purchases are available) and a new one for $8.99. If the $8.99 had been offered when I first purchased I would have gotten that, it comes will all the in-app purchases and future updates/additions. What I really like about the version I have (with the in-app purchases) is the variety. Let me show you what I mean. 
This app comes with Capital and small letters , numbers and a variety of things that can be used to make scenes or to spell out. It also offers a variety of backgrounds for the kids to make comprehensive scenes, there’s a Halloween background and Halloween magnets, a winter background and Christmas magnets, a spring background and Easter magnets. The biggest plus to me though is the small letters. This app also comes with all sorts of collections including underwater, vehicles, construction, outer space (as in-app purchases). It has a lot of potential. The biggest downside for our situation is that it doesn’t talk, but this may not matter to most of you. However, for Katelin, who needs reinforcement at every level, having at least the letters “say” out their name would be very helpful, especially on the rare occasion she makes her own choice. For that we use Abby’s Magnetic Toys by 22learn LLC. This has a Lite (free) version that may fit your needs but it only allows you so many items on the screen at one time and there will be popups asking if you want the full version. What I LOVE about this app is that every letter and every object, when placed on the screen, speaks its name. Here’s an example We use this app in a lot of ways. Katelin can pick an object then I’ll switch to the letters option and spell it out, or I will spell out a word say, “CAT” then put up the picture of the cat. Another way it can be used is initial sounds. I will put the letter “B” on the screen and then go through the selections and put “b” words on the screen and she will hear the word and the initial sound being repeated. It also offers “blocks” and some background patterns to place the blocks on, but instead of saying the shape it says the color of the block chosen. This app does have a couple of downsides. First and foremost it does not have small letters; it doesn’t even offer them as an in-app purchase. Secondly, it doesn’t repeat the sound after it’s been placed on the board. Thirdly, the selection of items is limited, but it does offer contextual backgrounds that the other app doesn’t, mainly inside homes, however the “children” are not very ethnically diverse.
Between these two apps, I am able to teach Katelin a LOT, not only her ABC’s, but how to spell, teach contextual scenes that make sense, ie: Santa’s not in the Halloween scene and give her the ability to tell me, through eye gaze or pointing what she wants to add into a scene, or even, very rarely, what letter things start with! Happy reading! Melinda Lancaster  Please join us in welcoming New Cape Cod Mom Advisor: Melinda Lancaster! We look forward to her blogs and her expertise! Comment below on topics you would like to see her discuss in the future! Welcome Melinda-great to have you! By: Melinda Lancaster Good day all! My name is Melinda Lancaster and I’m new to the Cape Cod Mommies blog, so let me introduce myself. I am a US Navy veteran, a member of the Cape Cod Children’s Writers Group, published author of “Tyler and the Spider” and “Grandma, Tell Me If You Can,” and a poet, with a piece of poetry hanging in the Hyannis JFK Museum. But mostly, I’m a mom to three amazing children (my daughter, Katelin has Rett Syndrome), two step children, and a grandma of four. Reading and writing has always been a passion, even more so since I became an author. The wonder of the written word can never be overestimated, it teaches, encourages you to dare, explore, dream and opens up new worlds, connecting the reader to ideas, cultures, and amazing, wonderful places. But, I have learned that beyond that, or rather the crux of it all, is communication. As a parent of a special needs child, I have been given a challenge-how to help my child, who cannot speak, communicate. So as I venture into this world of blogging, I hope that I can give other moms of special needs children, or children just beginning to read, some tips they may find helpful on the amazing journey of learning to read, as well as review apps that I have found helpful (or not), the difficulties and successes of Katelin’s progress and some fun ways for hands on learning and some of Katelin’s favorite books. I am available for readings of my book, “Tyler and the Spider”, which was inspired by my daughter as a way to address differences in general, for classrooms and daycares- it comes with a fun craft, easily adapted to any child. I am looking forward to this new adventure!
Melinda Lancaster is a children's author and a poet. Her books ("Tyler and the Spider" and "Grandma, Tell me If You Can) are published through Wiggles Press and her poem "Echoes" hangs in the Hyannis JFK Museum. After studying |
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