 By: Coach Pam Wills Last week, I got up on my soapbox about all the good reasons WHY holding onto your dreams is just…GOOD. Today, I’m all about the HOW. You ready? Here we go… #1 QUIT LISTENING TO THE NEGATIVE CHATTER IN YOUR HEAD This point is by far the most important, life changing thing you can do for your Self right now. Turn down the volume on the Mean Voice. Actually, mute it! Turn it off completely! Then, go ahead and turn the volume waaaaay up on the Best Friend Voice. I swear to you, this can be done. I did it my Self. And the results are amazing. You can totally do it, too! #2 BE NICE TO YOUR SELF Goes hand in hand with #1. If you’re not being nice to your Self, why do you suppose anyone else will be nice to you? Take that new Best Friend Voice and start listening to all the wonderific, nice things it says to and about you! Go ahead, I dare you. #3 GET COMFORTABLE WITH BEING UNCOMFORTABLE Practice courage regularly. Do something scary every day. Why? Because accomplishing challenges builds your confidence. Increased confidence allows you to continue pursuing your dreams. See how easy that is?  #4 MEDITATE ON YOUR DREAMS Meditation doesn’t need to be weird or difficult. All it really involves is a little focus. My fave way of meditating is lounging in bed for a few extra minutes on the weekend and just letting my thoughts drift. Another great way to focus is to keep a special journal. Write only about your dream in that journal. Write it all in the present tense, as if it is happening right now. Call it your “Make It Happen” bible or your “Yes!” manifesto! One more way to focus is to keep your media consumption to a minimum, turn off the radio and TV and just enjoy the silence. Gives your brain some room to breathe. Breathing is good.  #5 GO VISION BOARDING If you’re a visual person, try vision boarding. We used to call this making a collage, back in the day… Now it is all the rage. And with good reason! Pull out some old magazines and a piece of poster board, cardboard or even an old lined notebook or scrapbook. Cut and paste your way to a creative dream! It is so much fun and a great activity to do with kids. Vision board regularly and watch your dreams come true!  #6 GET UP AND DANCE Dance, jump, run, skip, sing, hum, color, create, make music… just have fun! Playing makes life worth living. The fun times are the times we remember. Don’t let them pass you by. Keep the faith. Sometimes, it’s all you have! Okay so I’m on a roll with my cheesy 80s music… enjoy this one, including the hairstyle and fashion choices! Don’t Stop Believing About Pamela
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 By: Coach Pam Wills Some days, we just need the short list to remember our big WHY. Why am I chasing this dream, anyway? Why should I keep on getting up when I feel like all I do is fall down? WHY should I keep going when I could just cut my losses now?? Here are six very good reasons why: 1) You are not dead yet! Keep hope alive and keep on moving. There is no need to stand still, stay stuck or let your Self become petrified or fossilized. Live a little! Follow your bliss! You never know what (or whom) you might find along the way.  ) It helps you age backwards. I kid you not. Look, if you want to stay stuck in a rut, good luck with that. If you want to age before your time, resist change, staying stuck is a foolproof recipe. But if you want to look young and feel even younger, all you have to do is reach ahead, let your Self grow and go with the flow. Oh and eat some dark chocolate. (It can’t hurt!) 3) You will expand your limitations and horizons. Stretching your Self beyond your comfort zone builds confidence. See what you can achieve and see how good it feels when you do. Expand your vistas by taking tiny steps every day and pushing past your Selfimposed limitations. The bigger you dream, the bigger you will achieve.  4) Growing is good for you. Just like a plant only survives with new growth every spring, we also need to undergo regular growth. Just think: without new cells, we would die! In fact, our bodies produce a new liver and a new suit of skin roughly every six weeks! New growth is vital. Why not allow your mind to grow, too? 5) You can be a role model for others. Don’t think anyone is watching what you do or how you do it? Check your kids. Your nieces and nephews. Your neighbors’ kids. Random young adults. People young and old can spot a dreamer/doer from miles away. Dreams are magnets and they inspire dreaming in others. Just like a smile, you can pass a dream along. And you may never know how much of a positive impact you have on others. Just do it anyway. It will make you feel awesometastic. 6) Thoughts become things. They do. They really, truly do. Here’s a song for you to hang onto today: Hold On Tight To Your Dreams by ELO 
About Pamela  By: Coach Pam Wills For many of us, confidence is kind of like the Holy Grail. Like most people, I struggle with confidence issues once in awhile. Am I good enough issues. Do they like me issues. Can I do this / is this possible / am I crazy issues. You know, the usual.But sometimes, instead of those issues appearing as fleeting doubts that we combat and vanquish fairly quickly, if we let them take over, they can and WILL affect everything we do. I know this firsthand because a few years back, my confidence hovered at a very low point. It was a painful place to hang out, but it definitely taught me that I was the only person in charge of my Self — AND my self-confidence. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor RooseveltFor instance, if your confidence level is low, you might end up letting opportunities pass you by on a regular basis. You might unwittingly let friends, family members or your spouse tell you what to do. You might find that your business is suffering because you don’t put your Self out there to speak and network. Guess what — I wasn’t born confident, either. I went through these scenarios my Self. Since then, I have done a lot of work, a lot of studying and a lot of practicing. The result: I figured out how to raise my confidence level through the roof! Now, I get up and speak with confidence all the time. And I LOVE it! So how can YOU lift the heavy weight of low confidence off your shoulders and step forward into being fully YOU? I will be honest with you — I would not recommend doing it alone like I did. My advice? Ask for help! Hire a coach to lean on. Trust me, an experienced coach’s objectivity and action-oriented guidance are the best gifts you could ever give your Self. I wish I had done it years ago! Meanwhile, until you gather your courage to reach out, here are a few steps you can practice daily to jumpstart your confidence: 1) Replace the negative chatter in your head with positive Self talk.*** Practice makes perfect. Diligence doesn’t hurt, either. Every time you catch your Self saying something mean about You, stop! Take a breath. Rewind. Now replay it, but this time, be nicer to your Self. For instance, instead of saying, “I’m so stupid!” say something like, “Okay, I made a mistake, so now how can I learn from this mistake ***If you do nothing else, DO THIS!!! Every day. All the time. Without fail. No matter what anyone else says to you. It WORKS. 2) Tell yourself 10 Good Things. Every night before you go to sleep, maybe while you’re brushing your teeth, repeat after me: I am strong. (That’s one.) I am smart. (That’s two.) I am confident. (That’s three. See how easy it is?) And keep going! What other good things can you say about your Self? Are you a good parent? Are you a reliable friend? Do you have great hair?? The first time you try this, it will feel weird. You might only make it up to six Good Things. But keep practicing. Eventually, you will not want to stop at 10! Trust me on this one. It WORKS. 3) Make an “I AM” Scrapbook or Vision Board. This might be a bit more advanced, but it is also quite relaxing and exhilarating at the same time. Kind of like yoga! Whenever you have some alone time, cut out pictures and words from magazines that reflect who you really want to be. It’s never too late to be the person you’ve always wanted to be, don’t you agree?  You can draw and write words directly in your book or on your poster board. Any book, notebook, scrap cardboard or corkboard will do. Make this an ongoing project if you like. Once you’ve finished, put it where you can see it or take it out and look at it regularly to reinforce that calm yet exhilarating feeling of I AM. Yeah. This WORKS. Confidence CAN be yours. If I can do it, you can TOTALLY do it, too! To help you get the ball rolling, contact me for a quick chat. Usually, I charge over $150 per hour for private coaching sessions on the telephone. But I am so sure that I can kick your confidence up a notch or two RIGHT AWAY that I am willing to give you 30 minutes of my time, no charge. What have you got to lose? About Pamela By: Coach Pam Wills Since my April “Be Your Self” theme has ended, I decided to share my updated playlist of fave inspirational, motivational, get-up-and-go tunes (in no particular order). I’ve linked the song titles to corresponding YouTube videos (not all of them are official music videos by the artists, but the tunes are there and sometimes the lyrics are, too). Lyrics are worth looking up for great inspirational quotes, just Google them.  1) Reach, Gloria Estefan Motivational fodder for pushing beyond the limits, this was an official theme song for the 2008 Summer Olympics 2) Try to Fly, Eva Great tune from a super talented songwriter and great friend of mine who creates her magic in Germany 3) Polka Dots, Kami Lyle I am so lucky to count as friends not one but TWO super talented singer/songwriters! Kami spins her magic right here on Cape Cod 4) Free and Right to Be Wrong, Joss Stone This hippie chick knows the real deal and how to express it with her crazy hot soul music 5) Brave, Jennifer Lopez I don’t think this song is well known but it really hits the spot 6) Respect and Think, Aretha Franklin Enough said 7) Free Xone and What Have You Done for Me Lately, Janet Jackson Love the dancing in the “Free Xone” video… “Love your Self” is a great line!… And let’s not forget the quintessential, classic Janet song 8) Just Fine, Mary J. Blige THE way to rock the joy of being YOU, this song is my newest anthem!!! 9) Express Yourself, Madonna “Don’t go for second best, baby”… Words to live by  10) Strength, Courage & Wisdom, India.Arie Just the tip of the iceberg from this singer and her incredibly deep soul 11) King of Anything, Sara Bareilles “Who cares if you disagree? You are NOT me!”… This song is everyone’s theme song who decides to stop putting up 12) Born This Way, Lady Gaga Cannot make a list like this without this tune! 13) I’m A Survivor, Destiny’s Child Beyonce’s antidote to hater poison 14) Shine, Estelle All about being her Self, this woman knows exactly who she is 15) Brand New Day, Sting Wait for Stevie Wonder to come and play his harmonica around minute three 16) Hope, Shaggy “Never give up”… Super cool and inspiring tune by the man him Self 17) The Climb, Miley Cyrus I know, I know, what am I doing putting a kids’ song on this list??… Just listen, it’s really a great tune about pushing through 18) When You Believe, performed by the late Whitney Houston and Maria Carey (from Disney’s The Prince of Egypt) Inspirational at its best, sung by two powerful divas 19) Girl On Fire, Alicia Keys ft. Nicki Minaj Caution, super hot video! Lots of fun, too 20) Fighter, Soar and Beautiful, Christina Aguilera Fabulous tunes, all of them! Thanks for listening with me! I hope this list: 1) made you smile 2) made you DANCE!!! 3) made you want to forward this to a friend. Why keep a good thing to your Self?? Have a great week! About Pamela  By: Coach Pam Wills Here are a few ideas to help move and shake you out of that comfortably numb state we all slide into now and then… Try a few! 1) Get up on the opposite side of the bed 2) Brush your teeth with the other hand 
 3) Wear a different color than you usually do (shirt, earrings, lipstick, socks, even pj’s!) 4) Take a different route to work 5) Try a bite of something you’ve never eaten before  6) Look up a new word in the dictionary and use it in conversation as often as possible during the day 7) Have a salad for dinner if you normally eat meat and potatoes 8) Read instead of watching TV 9) Take a walk or do some other physical activity for 20 to 30 minutes WITHOUT music or TV or reading materials to distract you — give your mind some space to just BE 10) Call a friend — don’t use email or Facebook, call! Do at least three of these things TODAY and see how you feel… pay attention, you might just come up with your next big idea. =) The BONUS 3 1) Write a poem 2) Move your furniture around 3) Create a mind map (a free-form diagram) of something that’s on your mind or a project you want to complete Good luck and have fun! About Pamela By: Coach Pamela Wills You KNOW you have to get unstuck, allow your Self to grow, push through the icky stuff and just get moving. But the $64,000 question is always, HOW?? I know, right?? Well, guess what peeps, I am here to tell you to just DO it already! 
You heard me. It’s time to stop talking and start walking. Here are six steps to help with the HOW part: 1) What is it? If you’re stuck, something heavy must have wrapped a chain around you. What’s making you feel immobile? Why haven’t you taken action? Are you afraid of something? What is keeping you from taking that first step forward? Figuring out what it is will make the next step easier. 2) Is it good for you? Once you figure out what’s holding you back, ask your Self whether that thing is really doing you any good. For example, if you want to quit smoking so you can run a marathon (because running a marathon is on your Bucket List) but can’t seem to do it, ask your Self whether smoking that cigarette (or cigar…) really helps you to reach that goal. Your answer will help you move on to the next step. 3) Make a decision Once you have the answer to #2, it is time to make a decision. You can do this! Give up that old habit that no longer serves you OR your goal. Then forget about it and focus on something else. Drink water. Take a walk. Chew gum. Take a bath. Chop wood! Whatever — the important thing is to replace the old not so good anymore thing with a new improved exciting helpful thing. Once you cross that bridge, making the leap to #4 will seem easier. 4) Focus on new stuff Start focusing on what you want, what’s important and what can make your life better. Want to run a marathon? Well, if you’ve passed GO on #3 and let go of the smoking habit to focus on… hmmm… maybe gum chewing? Then you’re probably ready to start training for that marathon. Focus on training for that marathon. Put all of your extra energy into training for that marathon. Start walking your talk! 5) Create an action plan Dust off your New Year’s resolutions and come up with a plan of action to achieve the best version of you. Sticking with the Bucket List marathon example, you need a training plan. Go! Get yourself a plan, a trainer, a coach to help you become a marathon runner. Pick a date. Pick a marathon. Start today! Then move on to Step #6. 
6) Live in the now We hear this all the time, but practicing it for real takes some real effort. Don’t let those negative chatterboxes in your head derail your efforts. Whenever you feel yourself scrambling out on a limb with an anxiety producing line of thought, clamp down on your attention and bring it back to whatever task is at hand. So what if you don’t run 26 miles the first day you train for that marathon! You are training for it RIGHT NOW. Working on it RIGHT NOW. Boom, end of drama. Now is the only time and place there is. Be thankful for it all. About Pamela  By: Coach Pam Wills
Here is something to think about as you slide into the New Year. (Guten Rutsch is a German expression I learned when I lived there…it means literally, Have a good slide! Always thought that was catchy. But I digress…) Check the picture I found this week. I posted it on my Facebook page but you might have missed it. Maybe it’s tough to swallow but I think it is spot on. How about you? Leave me your comments, I want to hear all about it! About Pamela As your Confidence Coach, it is my mission to guide you from darkness into the light of feeling strong, confident and sexy so you can Get Your Sizzle On!™ The boring stuff: I earned my Certified Professional Coach (CPC) credential from Fowler-Wainwright International and my BA in English Lit from Georgetown University. I’ve been writing and teaching professionally for over 20 years and currently publish my own weekly blog and eZine. The FUN stuff: I am currently an Expert on the following awesome websites: LawofAttractionKey.com; LifeBusinessGrowth.com; Soulwoman eMagazine I’m also a Speaker for B.I.G. Women’s Network in Massachusetts. (Fun fact: I’m also a choreographer for community theater in my spare time! ;) My newest workshops, “Master Your Stage Fright” and “Brains + Beauty = YOU!” are scheduled for early 2013 at various locations on Cape Cod, MA. Contact me at info@pamelawills.com for deets. Book a FREE Spark Session with me at www.PamelaWills.com/schedule-session/ so I can help you build your courage, grow your confidence and Get Your Sizzle On!™ My intention is to see you push through your fears, move into that shimmering light of confidence and really SIZZLE with reawakened charisma! Find out how to feel strong and confident about being your true Self, a unique and powerful woman at www.PamelaWills.com. 
About Pamela
Pamela uses her past experiences and hard-won successes to guide people from the darkness of difficult and controlling relationships to the lightness of feeling strong, confident and sexy. She does this by helping them take on and achieve regular challenges with success, learn to treat themselves with kindness and respect, set and meet high expectations for themselves and finally, tap their innate charisma and get their sizzle on! Pamela earned her Certified Professional Coach (CPC) credential from Fowler-Wainwright International and her BA in English Literature from Georgetown University. She has been writing and teaching professionally for over 20 years but continues to learn and improve her talents, gifts and skills with experience and training. Her unique background includes PR and marketing for the US Army and a natural wood finishes manufacturer (both in Germany), translations from German to English for a global retailer, choreography and dance instruction for theater, plus English language training for foreign executives. Pamela has written travel articles, a regular column on cultural differences, book reviews, guest blog posts, her own weekly blog and eZine and she speaks on radio and TV shows. Her most recent exciting news includes her inclusion as a featured coach on the Expert Panels of two major websites: Go Big! Coach Kristen Howe’s www.LawofAttractionKey.com and savvy businesswoman Kerry Swetmon’s www.LifeBusinessGrowth.com. In addition, Pamela has been added to the Speakers Bureau of B.I.G. Women’s Network in Massachusetts. Helping others increase their confidence levels has become Pamela’s passion because she learned the hard way how important confidence really is for success in love and relationships, parenting, career and business, friendships and life in general. She wants to spare others the hard, dark journey she took and set them on a bright, happy path as quickly as possible! To learn more and schedule your own complimentary SPARK Session, contact Pamela today. Tags compliments, exercise, feel good medicine, fitness, health, leader, lipstick, mental-health,
more powerful, public speaker, purposeful, self-esteem speak up, thankful, volunteer, walk Need a shot of confidence? Here are nine of my favorite instant boosters for you: Confidence Booster #1 Stand and sit up straight! All. The. Time. You will automatically feel taller, more attractive, more powerful. Confidence Booster #2 Walk faster! Put some spring in your step. You will instantly feel more purposeful, important and confident. Confidence Booster #3 Look sharp! Take a few minutes to check your Self in the mirror before you go out. Ladies, a little lipstick can’t hurt. And guys, shave much?… Confidence Booster #4 Be thankful! Think of six things each morning and six more each night to be thankful for. Say them out loud, write them down. Confidence Booster #5 Give compliments! Look for the best in others; soon you (and everyone else) will start to notice the best in your Self. Confidence Booster #6 Sit up front! Why hide in the back row when you can see better, hear better up front? Face your fear, don’t hide! Confidence Booster #7 Speak up! Raise that hand to become a better public speaker, a more confident thinker and recognized as a leader. Confidence Booster #8 Work that body! Exercise is feel good medicine and fitness has a huge effect on self-esteem. Just do it. Really! Confidence Booster #9 Volunteer! Giving your time to others who need your help and expertise makes life all the sweeter. Try it! Give a few of these boosters a try and see if you don’t start to feel better about your Self. You know what I always say, right?… What have you got to lose??? Get my FREE eBooklet, "50 Instant Confidence Boosters" with 40 more of these confidence tips when you sign up for my FREE weekly ezine at www.PamelaWills.com. About Pamela Pamela uses her past experiences and hard-won successes to guide people from the darkness of difficult and controlling relationships to the lightness of feeling strong, confident and sexy. She does this by helping them take on and achieve regular challenges with success, learn to treat themselves with kindness and respect, set and meet high expectations for themselves and finally, tap their innate charisma and get their sizzle on! Pamela earned her Certified Professional Coach (CPC) credential from Fowler-Wainwright International and her BA in English Literature from Georgetown University. She has been writing and teaching professionally for over 20 years but continues to learn and improve her talents, gifts and skills with experience and training. Her unique background includes PR and marketing for the US Army and a natural wood finishes manufacturer (both in Germany), translations from German to English for a global retailer, choreography and dance instruction for theater, plus English language training for foreign executives. Pamela has written travel articles, a regular column on cultural differences, book reviews, guest blog posts, her own weekly blog and eZine and she speaks on radio and TV shows. Her most recent exciting news includes her inclusion as a featured coach on the Expert Panels of two major websites: Go Big! Coach Kristen Howe’s www.LawofAttractionKey.com and savvy businesswoman Kerry Swetmon’s www.LifeBusinessGrowth.com. In addition, Pamela has been added to the Speakers Bureau of B.I.G. Women’s Network in Massachusetts. Helping others increase their confidence levels has become Pamela’s passion because she learned the hard way how important confidence really is for success in love and relationships, parenting, career and business, friendships and life in general. She wants to spare others the hard, dark journey she took and set them on a bright, happy path as quickly as possible! To learn more and schedule your own complimentary SPARK Session, contact Pamela today. 
This idea is on my mind today. Finding the courage to open our hearts might be one of the most challenging actions we take. Trusting after getting hurt is especially challenging.Do you trust yourself to choose a potential lover wisely next time? Will you allow yourself to trust that your choice is a good one? Are you ready to trust your heart to the lucky person you choose? About Pamela
As your Confidence Coach, I strive to help you grow your courage, build your confidence and tap your innate charisma. You need to work with me If you: - don’t know how to use your own voice anymore - used to feel like you could do anything - wonder why no one listens to you - feel invisible most of the time - don’t have a plan for your future - can’t even imagine your way into next week - wonder when your goals disappeared like that - feel all bottled up like wine with a dry cork - wish you could just run away some days - hate living in an emotional battlefield or wasteland - can’t remember the last time you felt good about yourself - don’t know when someone last complimented you on anything - feel as if flirting was something you did in another lifetime - don’t remember how to have fun - This list goes on and on, doesn’t it?… I know what it’s like and how to help because the same thing happened to me. Now that I have successfully gained courage, built confidence and tapped my own charisma, I can also guide YOU through the steps it takes to succeed and SIZZLE. Book your SPARK Session with me today. Email me directly at Pamela@ElasticityCoaching.com or visit my website at www.PamelaWills.com. Let’s talk. Pamela Wills, CPC Pamela Wills Coaching www.PamelaWills.com Like me on Twitter - Follow me! LinkedIn - Add me! Referrals are like chocolate...sweet and necessary! =) |
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