Cape Cod Moms is part of a great blogging network called Bodacious Bloggers and they are having a summer blog hop! May’s prompt was to take us on a tour of where you live – check that out here! We decided to hop on the train for June. This month’s prompt is to recap highlights from the last decade of your life. To read the other blog's click here!
The past decade has been full of many life experiences. Some of these times have been very rewarding and others have been full of lessons. In 2005, I was fairly fresh out of college, working my first real job and eager to take on the world. At the time there were so many possibilities and few responsibilities. A decade later, a young girl has become a young woman. Today my life is still just as full of possibilities and definitely full of more responsibilities including a child. Here are some of the things I have learned over the past ten years.
1.) The one things in life that is constant is change. There are new paths to be explored, mountains to climb, obstacles to circumvent, and oceans to swim. Ten years later I have had my fair share of all these circumstances, however there was one experience that completely changed my outlook on life….. the birth of my child. To finally experience all encompassing, unconditional love was one of the greatest gifts I have ever experienced.
2.) Good girlfriends are the cement that hold us together. One of the major things that has not changed is that you can always count on your girlfriends especially when things get rough. I have been lucky enough to have some amazing women in my life over the past decade that I am proud to call friends. All these women are mothers including one who is due any day with her first child. It was because of them that it made it easier to get through new baby hazing stage or the trials of motherhood as the children get older. It is our strength and common experience that unites us and it is with our support of one another that we are able to tackle motherhood with a bit of humor.
3.) Family is the most important thing. At the end of the day, these are the people that truly have your back and support you. Like all families, there may have been times over the past decade when we struggle but we always are there for each other when it matters. Family has always been hugely important to me. It is important to me that the next generation of our family remain close, grow up being best friends and to always be surrounded by people who love them. We put them first so that someday they will put their family first.
4.) LOVE LIFE. I have learned that it is important to take the time to just enjoy being. It is my son who has taught me that. I try to look at the world through his eyes. I find that even taking a few minutes every day to just soak it all in helps remind me of all the wonderment there is in the small things like blowing bubbles, picking berries, or exploring a sand dune. He has also helped me imagine the possibilities that are still to come. I know there will be challenges along the way, days where those obstacles will feel overwhelming but they will pass and they are worth it for what else awaits us. When those moments happen though, I am just going to take out my bottle of bubbles and let it go.
Thank you for taking this retrospective journey with me. When the blog hop post for this month is published, I’ll share the link so you can visit the other bloggers.
As parents, we constantly question ourselves on every decision we make. "Is this in our son's best interests?", "How will our son be affected by our decision to move?", "If we don't give him green veggies at dinner every night, will he get enough iron?", "If we bring him out for a walk and he has a sniffle, will he get sick?", "Are we spoiling him by cuddling with him to sleep?", "Should we bring him back into our bed since he loves sleeping between us?", "If we go out for a night, will he go to sleep for someone else?".... I could go on and on and on... because HE is in our EVERY thought.
Lately, as his parents we have begun questioning whether we are doing the right thing by having both of us work full time and having him in daycare full time. This is a tough one! Ideally, Brandon and I would love to hit it big and have millions so we could stay home with our son and not miss a single moment as well as show him the world, but that is not reality.
Reality is...... the economy kind of well SUCKS, health and life insurances are a necessity, bills are never ending, and our child's education and future must be saved for.
As a young adult, I would often dream of the day when I finally had children! Oh the dreams or rather fantasies.... of staying home with them, teaching them about the world, being there to witness EVERY moment. I always wanted to be a stay at home mom, but life has other plans for me right now. I know that my son needs health insurance and I am the parent who carries it from work. I know that I need life insurance in case something happens, my son will be taken care of and I am the parent who carries it from work. I know that by Brandon working full time, we have enough to live in a comfortable place. I know that socialization from daycare is great for my son..... but the GUILT... oh the guilt. It always comes creeping in doesn't it?
There are ONLY 24 hours in a day. 24 hours a day to create memories with your child.
Let's break it down:
11-12 hours sleeping each night and 8 hours at daycare.... that leaves 4 hours a day that we have to spend with our child each day.
Now let's break down a week:
168 hours in a week, 84 hours spent sleeping at night, 40 hours spent at daycare, leaving us with 44 hours a week to spend with our son.... and not only 44 hours a week to spend with our son, but also to split up between family, friends, etc. That means that a third of the day is the time we spend with our son! Not even HALF!!!! Seriously his dreams see him more than I do!
Now let's break down a year:
8760 hours in a year, 4380 hours spent sleeping, 2080 hours spent at daycare, leaving us with 2300 hours a year with our son.
That amounts to 182 days a year are gone to SLEEP, 86.67 days spent at daycare and......
95.83 days out of 365 that we actually see and interact with our child.
That's LESS than a third!
I know that staying at home with our son would not be an easy or glamorous job because I watch my friends struggle with their own battles of that lifestyle, but I have to admit.... I'm envious of those moms who get to do it. Come on, admit, we have all been jealous of each other! I have heard some SAH moms say, "oh you can do it too, you just have to be careful what you spend and careful with your budget." I don't know if it is that easy though. The problem is that all parents have different goals and plans in mind for our families, so what works for one definitely does not work for all. I wish there was a cookie cutter lifestyle though that did accomodate every family unit's needs, but again.... NOT REALITY.
As I sit here today, I am somewhat melancholy about our decisions to both work full time. Life does not give me easy decisions anymore. That all changed 1 year ago when I was given the greatest gift and responsibility I would EVER have: my son! I question whether I will later regret the decision to work full time as the little moments slip by us. Is the future we are building worth the sacrifices we are making now?
We have no way of knowing but I'm haunted by the Darius Rucker song "It Won't Be Like This For Long.....
I'm just trying to hold on.
Cape Cod Moms