![]() By Brooke Nalle No matter how old your sleeper is you have probably encountered a situation like this: My (insert age) was outside all day, playing, rolling, running, climbing, and more. He had a great dinner, a calm bath, and now instead of acting sleepy is super animated and showing no signs of being tired. For young children, missing the sleep window is a big deal. In fact, the probability of bedtime quickly fades and is replaced with a mini-version of the London Olympics in your living room. For older children, missing the sleepy window is very much connected to missing the chance to truly wind down from the day. You might not get physical hysterics. Instead, you might find yourself dealing with bedtime anxiety. I have named these scenarios the sleepy jitters, and I find this combination both paradoxical and very frustrating. Your 4 month old should have been asleep hours ago or your 7 year old has to get some sleep because he has to wake up by 7 to catch the bus and pay attention in school all day and more. In both cases, you know what they need and in both cases you need to be proactive rather than reactive to avoid this mixed bag of anxious/energy filled jitters at bedtime. Here are a few tips for young sleepers ...
Brooke Nalle Pediatric Sleep Consultant Sleepy On Hudson www.sleepyonhudson.com 917.885.2594 brooke@sleepyonhudson.com
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![]() Hi! My name is Brooke Nalle and I am the founder of Sleepy On Hudson, a pediatric sleep consultancy based just outside of New York City. I am a New Englander at heart though and am writing this blog from Rhode Island where I am lucky enough to spend my summers. I am honored to write about sleep for you all and am eager to hear from you - your questions, your challenges, and even your triumphs. In my work, I support all families, all styles of parenting. I do not judge anyone, and I know that as parents we are all working very hard to do the best, the very, very best for our children. If you co-sleep, I can help you. If you have separate sleeping arrangements, I can help you. So reach out, anytime. I am sure you have noticed. The sun screen and flip flops at the drug store are being replaced with binders and pencils. The watermelons and mangos will soon be replaced by pumpkins and butternut squash. August is a month that forces us to cling to every summer day because each night the sun sets earlier and earlier reminding us that Fall is coming. Yikes! That’s a little scary. Seriously though, I love August because it means September is right around the corner. I am still very much on vacation because my children are still very much on vacation and more importantly September is my favorite time of year for one major reason: I love starting fresh. I love a new (school) year. This is a month where we continue to break rules from keeping our children up to catch fireflies, to eat ice cream, to hang out with family and friends. We stay up too late, we eat too much ice cream, and so on because we know that our fresh start, where we have to clean up our acts, is around the corner. So my message is this, and this is where I finally get to my favorite subject, sleep, enjoy this month, maybe the nap happens on the beach, not in a crib, or your toddler falls asleep in your bed, not in his own, whatever the rules might be, bend them a little. However, and this is important, September is coming, start thinking about the changes you want to make. Earlier bedtime? Devise a plan that will get you there. Better naps and better nights, then think about how you can make that happen. How can you make your sleeper who is super dependent on you, a little more independent? How do you want to go about making this change? Make a chart, a map to get you there. Everyone has her own path. Start getting some ideas together. In the meantime, I am going to take a few weeks, hopefully hear from you, and then give you some concrete tips to help you get going, get a fresh start. Enjoy the warm days and cool nights, good sleeping weather! ![]() By: Michelle Donaghy, Pediatric Sleep Consultant – Certified Gentle Sleep Coach I often hear from parents that once the children start sleeping, they find it hard to sleep! Thankfully, there are some easy tips to get your sleep (and your family's) back on track after so many months of sleep deprivation. These simple changes will make a world of difference: Get some exercise - just 30min a day will help relieve stress which will help you sleep better. This applies to adults and children. Ensure your mattress is comfortable! You won't feel rested if your back is aching during the night. This is one of those things in life that is worth the expense. Have some wind-down time - a bedtime routine is important for children and adults alike. It will help your brain and body decompress before sleep. No electronics 30min before you go to sleep - All of those electronics (TV, iPad, smart phone) tell your brain it is time to be awake. So turn them all off 30-60 minutes before bed. It takes 20 minutes - most people don't know that the average person needs 20 minutes to fall asleep. Also, a side note for children - if it takes them less than 5 minutes to fall asleep they were either overtired or too drowsy when you put them to bed. If you’d like to read more about how get better sleep, you can read the original article here: How to Get Better Sleep and Prevent Insomnia Without Medication. Look for my next blog post where we will talk more about Healthy Sleep Habits for your Children and I will answer more of your questions. If you have a question you would like me to answer please email me at gentlesleepcoach@gmail.com ![]() Lullaby Muffins -see below By: Michelle Donaghy, Pediatric Sleep Consultant – Certified Gentle Sleep Coach Nothing will substitute your child learning independent sleeping skills but here is a fun bit of information that may help at bedtime and get the sleepy hormones stacked in your favor. #1 Bananas. They're practically a sleeping pill in a peel. In addition to a bit of soothing melatonin and serotonin, bananas contain magnesium, a muscle relaxant. #2 Chamomile tea. The reason chamomile is such a staple of bedtime tea blends is its mild sedating effect - it's the perfect natural antidote for restless minds/bodies. #3 Warm milk. It's not a myth. Milk has some tryptophan - an amino acid that has a sedative - like effect - and calcium, which helps the brain use tryptophan. Plus there's the psychological throw-back to infancy, when a warm bottle meant "relax, everything's fine." #4 Honey. Drizzle a little in your warm milk or herb tea. Lots of sugar is stimulating, but a little glucose tells your brain to turn off orexin, a recently discovered neurotransmitter that's linked to alertness. #5 Potatoes. A small baked spud won't overwhelm your GI tract, and it clears away acids that can interfere with yawn-inducing tryptophan. To up the soothing effects, mash it with warm milk. #6 Oatmeal. Oats are a rich source of sleep - inviting melatonin, and a small bowl of warm cereal with a splash of maple syrup is cozy - plus if you've got the munchies, it's filling too. #7 Almonds. A handful of these heart-healthy nuts can be snooze-inducing, as they contain both tryptophan and a nice dose of muscle-relaxing magnesium. #8 Flaxseeds. When life goes awry and feeling down is keeping you up, try sprinkling 2 tablespoons of these healthy little seeds on your bedtime oatmeal. They're rich in omega-3 fatty acids, a natural mood lifter. #9 Whole-wheat bread. A slice of toast with your tea and honey will release insulin, which helps tryptophan get to your brain, where it's converted to serotonin and quietly murmurs "time to sleep." #10 Turkey. It's the most famous source of tryptophan, credited with all those Thanksgiving naps. But that's actually modern folklore. Tryptophan works when your stomach's basically empty, not overstuffed, and when there are some carbs around, not tons of protein. But put a lean slice or two on some whole-wheat bread mid-evening, and you've got one of the best sleep inducers in your kitchen. http://www.realage.com/health_guides/RLS/intro.aspx For an extra treat, here's the ultimate sleep-inducing snack... Lullaby Muffins Makes 12 low-fat muffins Between the bananas, the whole wheat, and the honeyed touch of sweetness, these muffins are practically an edible lullaby. · 2 cups whole-wheat pastry flour · 1/2 teaspoon salt · 1 tablespoon baking powder · 2 large, very ripe bananas · 1/3 cup applesauce · 1/4 cup honey · 1/2 cup milk or soymilk Preheat oven to 350F. In a large bowl, combine the flour (make sure it's whole-wheat pastry flour or you'll produce golf balls, not muffins), salt, and baking powder. In a blender, puree the bananas; add the applesauce, honey, and milk. Blend well. Pour the banana mixture into the dry ingredients and stir until just moistened. Line muffin tins with paper muffin cups, pour in batter, and bake 30 minutes or until tops are lightly brown and slightly springy. Nutrition Facts Per serving: 119 calories; 1g fat; 2.5g protein; 27g carbohydrates; 10g sugars; 133mg sodium; 3g fiber; 35mg magnesium Look for my next blog post where we will talk more about Healthy Sleep Habits for your Children and I will answer more of your questions. If you have a question you would like me to answer please email me at gentlesleepcoach@gmail.com and I’ll include it in a future blog. Michelle is a Pediatric Sleep Consultant and Certified Gentle Sleep Coach who offers parents a gentle and loving approach to their sleep problems. Through her years as a therapist, a mother and a sleep coach, Michelle’s approach offers tired parents an alternative to the cry it out method. Her proven solutions are medically and developmentally appropriate and look at all aspects of your child to gently get them the sleep that is so important to the entire family. ![]() By: Michelle Donaghy, Pediatric Sleep Consultant – Certified Gentle Sleep Coach Sleep Myth #6 - every time my baby wakes overnight, s/he must be hungry. FALSE! Babies during the first 2 months are more likely waking from hunger, but older babies who wake frequently (every 1-2 hours), may not be waking from hunger. Ask yourself whether your baby can be soothed in other ways first. Also, ask yourself whether your baby is going to sleep from an awake state at bedtime (without being nursed or rocked). Sleep myth #7 - If your child wakes before 6:00 am, put him/her to bed later. FALSE! Often, putting your child to bed later makes them rise earlier. SLEEP MYTH #8: If you keep your child up all day, they will sleep better at night - FALSE!! As Dr. Marc Weissbluth explains in his book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, sleep breeds sleep. Children who nap well during the day at the right times actually fall asleep more easily and sleep better at night. Children who are over-tired are more likely to have difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep at night. So, if your child is having difficulties at bedtime, consider whether s/he needs MORE sleep during the day! SLEEP MYTH #9: TV before bed helps calm them down/get them sleepy. FALSE. According to the National Sleep Foundation, researchers caution that use of electronic devices within one hour of bedtime are harmful to the sleep-onset process because the artificial light can suppress our body’s natural release of melatonin, the hormone that helps signal our body to fall asleep. Sleep myth #10: My toddler won’t nap – s/he just doesn’t need it! - False! Many toddlers go through phases when they resist napping, or skip naps some days of the week. Most toddlers need a nap until they are at least 3 ½ years old. Consistency in enforcing nap time, ensuring that your toddler knows how to put himself/herself to sleep, and making sure you are putting your toddler down for his/her nap at the RIGHT time can help ensure successful nap practices. Sleep myth #11: Gifted children don’t need as much sleep as other children. FALSE! It is true that many gifted children have difficulty shutting down and getting enough sleep, but the studies actually show that children who get more sleep during their toddler years (and beyond) do better in school – they have higher grades and better math and language skills. Sleep myth #12: My toddler doesn’t seem sleepy or tired, so s/he must be well-rested. FACT: Children are different from adults, and may even seem energetic or hyper when they are over-tired. Many children who are over-tired exhibit attention and behavior problems, or may simply be difficult or cranky in the afternoons. Look for my next blog post where we will talk more about Healthy Sleep Habits for your Children and I will answer more of your questions. If you have a question you would like me to answer please email me at gentlesleepcoach@gmail.com ![]() By: Michelle Donaghy, Pediatric Sleep Consultant – Certified Gentle Sleep Coach Sleep Myth #1: Give your baby formula - s/he will sleep better - FALSE!! While formula does take longer to digest than breast milk, they have the same calories per ounce. When we feed our babies bybottle, there is a greater risk of over feeding as well, and sometimes that can make sleep worse for a baby accustomed to breastfeeding. Babies can sleep equally well on both breast milk and formula. Breastfeeding moms are more likely to fall into some habits that encourage more frequent wakings because it is such an easy way to soothe babies to sleep, while bottle feeding parents are often forced to look for a variety of techniques and teach babies to self-soothe younger. Sleep Myth #2: If your child is having difficulty going to sleep, keep them awake later - FALSE! Children who have difficulty falling asleep often need to go to bed EARLIER. It seems counter-intuitive...but when a child is over-tired, they catch a 'second wind' - and that burst of energy often makes them seem NOT tired or makes them unable to lay still and fall asleep. Instead, try to get your child to bed earlier - before that 'second wind' takes over. Sleep Myth #3: Don't worry if your child doesn't sleep through the night, they'll eventually outgrow it - FALSE! Studies actually show that children who never learn to sleep independently turn into adults who don't sleep well. Children do not sleep independently for many reasons - habit, medical reasons scheduling... finding out why your child doesn't sleep and address it. Sleep Myth #4 - children will scream when you teach them to sleep so you should delay until they are 6-12 months old- FALSE! Children are ready to sleep for longer stretches much younger than you might think. From birth, we can slowly teach our children skills that will help them seamlessly develop good sleep habits, without needing to scream hysterically. Even parents who cosleep and breastfeed can work on these life skills. Simple things like developing multiple ways (other than breastfeeding or a pacifier) to soothe your baby, developing a calming bedtime routine around 6-8 weeks, starting a nap routine (not schedule) around 1 month, and introducing a lovey by 4-6 months (even just during feedings and in a swing) all help. You can gradually teach your child to go to sleep at bedtime from an awake state and during night wakings/feedings, too Sleep Myth #5 - My toddler doesn’t fall asleep until 10 pm, and s/he wakes up every morning at 5:30 am…s/he clearly isn’t tired, and just doesn’t need a lot of sleep - FALSE! Many children who go to sleep late at night and do not nap during the day actually rise too early in the morning, NOT because they have gotten sufficient sleep, but because it is a symptom of sleep deprivation. Children are different from adults, and may even seem energetic or hyper when they are over-tired. Many children who are over-tired exhibit attention and behavior problems, or may simply be difficult or cranky in the afternoons. Some over-tired children will also fall asleep every time they get in the car, or crash much earlier than their bedtime some nights. Look for my next blog post where we will talk more about Healthy Sleep Habits for your Children and I will answer more of your questions. If you have a question you would like me to answer please email me at gentlesleepcoach@gmail.com and I’ll include it in a future blog. Michelle is a Pediatric Sleep Consultant and Certified Gentle Sleep Coach who offers parents a gentle and loving approach to their sleep problems. Through her years as a therapist, a mother and a sleep coach, Michelle’s approach offers tired parents an alternative to the cry it out method. Her proven solutions are medically and developmentally appropriate and look at all aspects of your child to gently get them the sleep that is so important to the entire family. Michelle Donaghy, Pediatric Sleep Consultant – Certified Gentle Sleep Coach Cell: 714 651 5116 ~ Fax: 267-382-2070 Making Sweet Dreams ~ Sleep Coaching for Children gentlesleepcoach@gmail.com ~ www.makingsweetdreams.com ![]() By: Michelle Donaghy, Pediatric Sleep Consultant – Certified Gentle Sleep Coach Daylight savings time is upon us once again. Sunday March 10th at 2am our clocks with move forward 1 hour. I enjoy the extra daylight but as a parent it means I need to adjust my children’s sleep schedule. To help your children adjust to the new schedule try these tips: · Start (3-5 days) the before the time change - adjust their bedtime and naptime gradually by moving it UP 15 minutes every few days until the new time is reached. · Adjust their nap times and wake times in synch with the earlier bedtime schedule you are following. · Make sure they are well napped while you are adjusting to the time change. · Have a relaxing bedtime routine with a specific set of steps to sign bedtime. It doesn’t have to be long, but it should be the same routine every night to sign sleep is coming. · Make sure they are going into their bed/crib drowsy but awake (bedtime is the easiest time to fall asleep independently). · Use lots of morning light to help reset their circadian rhythm or body clock. It will likely take a week to adjust to the new time. For kids that are having early rising problems this time change should actually help. Since we are moving time forward, that 5am riser will now be waking at 6am. But the trick is to not adjust their bedtime the full hour earlier, maybe only 1/2 hour - otherwise their lil bodies will likely move that wake up time toooo early again after a week or so. Again, make sure they are going to bed awake otherwise this problem will show itself in other ways. If you find this article after the time change and don’t have time to plan you can still use these tips. Don’t put your child to bed the full hour earlier but gradually instead. For example if she usually goes down at 8:00pm, for example, have her in bed by 7:45 the first few nights and 7:30 the next few nights until the new time is reached. I hope these tips help you and your children adjust to the new time so you can enjoy the extra day light with lots of fun! Look for my next blog post where we will talk more about Healthy Sleep Habits for your Children and I will answer more of your questions. If you have a question you would like me to answer please email me at gentlesleepcoach@gmail.com and I’ll include it in a future blog. ![]() By: Michelle Donaghy, Pediatric Sleep Consultant – Certified Gentle Sleep Coach Q: My 6 month old resists or refuses to nap. She sleeps great at night, but naps are a complete nightmare. It feels as if trying to get her to nap has taken over my life. What can I do to help the situation? A: I know from personal experience how incredibly frustrating it is to have a baby who doesn’t nap during the day – both of my children took catnaps until they were approximately 6 months old. You are lucky she sleeps through the night as most children who take short or skipped naps usually have nightwakings. I know it isn’t logical - but sleep, begets sleep! For babies who aren’t sleeping through the night, I would recommend you solve bedtime and nighttime issues first. It is critical that your child be able to fall asleep on her own at bedtime. If you put your child down already asleep she misses the opportunity to learn the skill of putting herself to sleep. Bedtime is the easiest time to learn this skill. If you rock your child to sleep at bedtime (or use any sleep crutch) and she sleeps through the night but doesn’t nap well during the day, you first need to make changes at bedtime. “What happens regarding sleep at night will definitely affect sleep at other times.” says Jodi A. Mindell, Ph.D. author of How Infants, Toddlers, and Their Parents Can Get a Good Night’s Sleep. Scheduling and Sleep Windows The first step is to look at your nap schedule. 6 month old babies need 3 ½ hours of day time sleep spread over two to three naps, says Dr. Ferber and author of Solve Your Child’s sleep Problems. The first two naps should be approximately 1½-2 hours each. The third catnap is optional if she sleeps well during the day, but it is a must if the earlier naps are less than 1 hour each and/or the sleep window is longer than 3 hours from the last nap until bedtime. Ensure you are watching her sleepy cues and don’t miss her sleep window. If you wait too long, she will get her second wind and will be overtired - making it more difficult for her to fall asleep. For a 6 month old (sleeping the recommended 11 hours at night) her sleep window is 1½-2 hours for morning nap and no more than 3 hours for afternoon nap(s). For younger babies, the sleep window is no more than 2 hours and no more than 1½ hours for newborns. Once she is about 9 to 12 months, she should nap around the same time every day to help set her internal clock. It is important to remember that the sleep windows are from the end of one sleep to the start of another asleep, so leave plenty of time for a short naptime routine. Wind-down time: Establish a good naptime routine to help her transition from playtime to sleeptime. It can be a shortened version of her bedtime routine, without the bath or pajamas of course. You can read a book, sing a song, and snuggle. Babies need a dark and quiet sleep environment, therefore I recommend to all my clients that they install room darkening shades and use a white noise machine for all sleep. Your child should be awake when you put her down, just like at bedtime. Drowsy but awake: After your baby’s naptime routine put her into her crib‘ drowsy but awake’ so she can learn to do that last part of falling asleep on her own. “Imagine a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being wide awake and 10 being a deep sleep,” says Kim West, LSCW-C and author of The Sleep Lady’s, Good Night Sleep Tight. You want to put her down for all sleep about 7 or 8, says West. You can stay nearby the crib and use soothing techniques such as your physical presence, your voice and your touch to encourage her to fall asleep. For some babies; anyone staying in the room gets them more upset - you may want to use timed checks or soothe from outside the door. The timing of the checks depends on your child’s temperament and your tolerance level for tears. At this age, try for 1 hour to get her to take a nap. For a younger baby, try for 30 minutes. If she doesn’t sleep, watch her sleep cues as she will be ready much earlier than her usual naptime. Catnaps: Sometimes your baby may take a 30-45 minute nap, don’t rush to take her out of her crib. Go to her and try to soothe her back to sleep. If she goes back to sleep (even for just 20 minutes), wonderful she did it! If she doesn’t go back to sleep, even after trying for 30-60 minutes (depending on her age), you will need to adjust her schedule and shorten the awake windows until she learns to sleep longer. The skill of falling asleep independently will likely help her to start to take longer naps on her own. Nap training is time-consuming, usually involves tears and is hard on everyone, but once it falls into place both baby and Mommy will enjoy a much needed rest during the day! Look for my next blog post where we will talk more about Healthy Sleep Habits for your Children and I will answer more of your questions. If you have a question you would like me to answer please email me at gentlesleepcoach@gmail.com and ![]() Q: Reasons 11 month old may seem "restless" for about an hour each night (either waking and wanting to play, or moving around a ton in their sleep). A: I would need to know a lot more about what is happening before bedtime ... what are the activities and food eaten. What is bedtime, when did last nap of the day end, what is the environment, etc. I always have more questions :). Here is some helpful information for an 11mo. They need approximately 11 1/4 hrs of sleep at night and 2 1/2 hours of day sleep across 2 naps. Bedtime should be between 7-8pm for the first 5 years of a child's life! The window of wakefulness between last nap and bedtime should be no more than 4hrs - he could be overtired and restless due to the cortisol rush in his body from being overtired. We always recommend no TV or stimulating activities 1hr before bedtime (that is for children and adults). The room environment should be dark. If they need a light no more than a 4watt light bulb. Alert kids have a harder time shutting down and unwinding so a nice relaxing bedtime routine or activities like yoga (Google: Itsy Bitsy Yoga) or a light massage may help. If none of those apply and you can check yes to every single item I listed then I would explore this with his doctor. It may be helpful to keep a log for a week to show and tell them exactly what is going on ... be sure to tell them it is not behavioral and list why it's not (hint: all those things I listed that you are doing right)! Best of luck! Look for my next blog post where we will talk more about Healthy Sleep Habits for your Children and I will answer more of your questions. If you have a question you would like me to answer please email me at gentlesleepcoach@gmail.com and I’ll include it in a future blog. Michelle is a Pediatric Sleep Consultant and Certified Gentle Sleep Coach who offers parents a gentle and loving approach to their sleep problems. Through her years as a therapist, a mother and a sleep coach, Michelle’s approach offers tired parents an alternative to the cry it out method. Her proven solutions are medically and developmentally appropriate and look at all aspects of your child to gently get them the sleep that is so important to the entire family. Michelle Donaghy, Pediatric Sleep Consultant – Certified Gentle Sleep Coach Cell: 714 651 5116 ~ Fax: 267-382-2070 Making Sweet Dreams ~ Sleep Coaching for Children gentlesleepcoach@gmail.com ~ www.makingsweetdreams.com ![]() Q: My daughter is 15 weeks old. My husband and I stopped swaddling her at about four weeks, but when we moved her out of her bassinet to her crib at eight weeks, we realized that she still needed to be swaddled to sleep. Without it, she doesn't stay asleep because she flails her arms and pulls her hair. I'm using a velcro swaddler so she doesn't kick it off, so it's safe. But, how long is it okay to swaddle her? Am I doing any harm to her development by continuing to swaddle? She has plenty of tummy time during the day and can already hold her head up well and roll over from her tummy to her back, but my mom keeps insisting that my daughter needs to figure out how to sleep without the swaddle. A: Dr. Harvey Karp recommends swaddling as it mimics “the snugness of the womb” and limits the Moro reflex (startle reflux). He recommends swaddling w/ flexion in the legs and abduction of the hips for safe development. Swaddling is safe until they roll from back to front - that can be as early as 4 months and some are later, but most are rolling by 6 months. As she is progressing in age, look to transition out of the swaddle - either by leaving one arm out and then once she handles this well, swaddle just the torso and legs. You may also use a sleep sack (sew the arms closed up to start with and then one by one leave an arm out). There is also a product called a "magic sleep suit" which can be used up to 9 months of age safely for those babies who need that input from swaddling. Tell your mom she has plenty of time to learn how to sleep without a swaddle. Right now your focus is on getting her to sleep well, develop those self-soothing skills and learning the skill of independent sleep! Congratulations on your lil one! Michelle is a Pediatric Sleep Consultant and Certified Gentle Sleep Coach who offers parents a gentle and loving approach to their sleep problems. Through her years as a therapist, a mother and a sleep coach, Michelle’s approach offers tired parents an alternative to the cry it out method. Her proven solutions are medically and developmentally appropriate and look at all aspects of your child to gently get them the sleep that is so important to the entire family. Michelle Donaghy, Pediatric Sleep Consultant – Certified Gentle Sleep Coach Cell: 714 651 5116 ~ Fax: 267-382-2070 Making Sweet Dreams ~ Sleep Coaching for Children gentlesleepcoach@gmail.com ~ www.makingsweetdreams.com |
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