Darkness to Light: Stewards of Children Abuse Prevention Training for Adults in the Cape Cod Area!10/22/2013 Tracy Lamperti, LMHC, BCETS
Please see www.tracylamperti.com for more information about family dynamics and helping your children to thrive. If you would like 1:1 assistance, please contact Tracy Lamperti for a consultation. Tracy Lamperti, LMHC, BCETSPsychotherapist, Educator, Consultant My Blog My Website lamperticc@gmail.com 774-722-5919
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 Call Tracy Lamperti 774-722-5919 to reserve one of the six additional Spots! Click here for testimonials from Cape Cod parents and professionals who took this training with Tracy Lamperti. Thursday, May 9th, 6-9pm $25 per person At The Children’s Center 115 Sisson Rd. Harwich Port, MA (Near the Harwich Police Department)
I urge every parent to take this training or call me directly for assistance. Between my services, other qualified professionals, Children’s Cove, Independence House, and others, every adult; parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle….should be trained, along with EVERY person providing any level of care to a minor. Our #1 defense and method to keep children safe in our community is to begin to talk about CSA and educate ourselves about CSA. It is an adult responsibility to protect children from sexual abuse! Please see www.tracylamperti.com for more information about working with children and families or specifically about sexual abuse.
If you would like 1:1 assistance, please contact Tracy Lamperti for a consultation. Tracy Lamperti, LMHC, BCETS Psychotherapist, Educator, Consultant My Blog My Website lamperticc@gmail.com 774-722-5919  When Actions Match Intentions (7th of 7 posts on child sexual abuse prevention) By: Tracy Lamperti, LMHC, BCETS The words that usually come up in the training when we brainstorm the qualities that we want our children to experience… HAPPY CAREFREE INNOCENT IN AWE OF THE WORLD TRUSTING SAFE In order to make this happy, our choices need to reflect these qualities. As a parent, you want to do everything in your power to keep your children safe! But the number one comment I hear from parents that I work with after it has been learned that their child has been sexually abused, is, “I didn’t know.” Didn’t know… The questions to ask…the signs to look for…(especially) didn’t know the tricks that offenders use to draw in children and their parents. Stewards of Children will equip you with this information. Click here for testimonials from Cape Cod parents and professionals who took this training with Tracy Lamperti.
I urge every parent to take this training or call me directly for assistance. Between my services, other qualified professionals, Children’s Cove, Independence House, and others, every adult; parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle….should be trained, along with EVERY person providing any level of care to a minor. Our #1 defense and method to keep children safe in our community is to begin to talk about CSA and educate ourselves about CSA. It is an adult responsibility to protect children from sexual abuse!By Tracy Lamperti,  By: Tracy Lamperti, LMHC, BCETS Why Doesn’t the Child Tell Someone? (4th of 7 posts on child sexual abuse prevention) 73% of child victims do not tell anyone about the abuse for at least a year. 45% of victims do not tell anyone for at least 5 years. Some never disclose (Smith et al., 2000; Broman-Fulks et al., 2007). WHY? Ø The child was “groomed” so well that they didn’t even know that they were being sexually abused. (see last week’s post about “grooming.”) Ø The boundaries are so loose in the child’s life that things were allowed to happen without the child realizing it wasn’t appropriate; showering together, witnessing adults having sex, being exposed to pornography or even milder sexual images. Ø More often, sexual abuse does not physically hurt the child. If the offender caused physical pain child would be more likely to have observable symptoms and the child would be less likely to come near the offender. Ø Parents are busy and even very good parents can leave their child with someone who gives them a “gut feeling” that something isn’t right, whether that is a relative or paid provider. Ø It is hard for parents to speak up about things that are wrong. How much harder can it be for a child? Ø As parents may fear that others will see their concerns as ridiculous, children fear that they might be wrong, get in trouble, or not be believed and even worry that the offender might get in trouble. Ø When abuse has occurred more than a few times, the child might feel guilty. Since they didn’t say something the first time, they must have wanted to do it and feel they have to keep the secret now. These are just some of the reasons that children do not tell. Remember, most offenders are “Tricky People.” Most offenders know that in order to get what they want, they need to play their cards right by choosing the right family, the right child, the right words, the right locations, the right times, the right tricks.  Next week I will address the epidemic of juvenile offenders. Please, if these informational posts are triggering you because sexual abuse has touched your life in a personal way, now is the time to seek assistance. “IT IS THE SILENCE THAT POISONS OUR FAMILIES” (Former Miss America, Marilyn van Derbur, Stewards of Children) I urge every parent to take this training or call me directly for assistance. Between my services, other qualified professionals, Children’s Cove, Independence House, and others, every adult; parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle….should be trained, along with EVERY person providing any level of care to a minor. This is an empowerment program, not a paranoia or scare based program. Even given the numbers of 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys being sexually abused before their 18th birthday, it is important to keep a sense of perspective. While we have to keep in mind that there are offenders in the local community, the vast majority of people do not sexually abuse children. Our #1 defense and method to keepchildren safe in our community is to begin to talk about CSA and educate ourselves about CSA. It is an adult responsibility to protect children from sexual abuse! Click here for testimonials from Cape Cod parents and professionals who took this training with Tracy Lamperti. Thursday, May 9th, 6-9pm $25 per person Location to be announced – central to Orleans
By Tracy Lamperti, (3rd of 7 posts on child sexual abuse prevention) There are a percentage of sexual offenders/perpetrators/criminals that snatch a child or make a sexual move on a child, all at once and without any precursory behaviors. Here, we are talking about the creepy guy sitting in the white van or the guy in the trench coat at the park. We most definitely need to safeguard against these very disastrous acts of crime. However, only 5% of sexual abuse is perpetrated by a stranger *(Snyder, 2000). 56% of those that sexually abuse a child are acquaintances of either the child or the family (Snyder, 2000). Gateways to the victim, also called “grooming” is the act of successive, thought out strategies used by a perpetrator with the victim and/or the family in order to facilitate their being able to carry out the acts of sexual abuse on the child with the highest probability of being able to do it without getting caught. While not all adults who tickle children are paving the way to sexually abuse them, tickling is a good example of the grooming process. When trust can be won over and defenses can be disarmed, the offender is then able to have their way with the child. With the example of tickling, the perpetrator is able to publicly and/or privately tickle just a little bit. The act is carried out cheerfully and playfully. In this “controlled experiment” the offender is able to see if anyone is going to set a limit, “Oh, Uncle John, we have a ‘no tickling rule’ in our family. Stop tickling Sam.” Some parents fear that others will see them as ridiculous. “Everyone is having fun…what is your problem??” When no one puts the brakes on the behavior, Uncle John then has a slip of the hand. He then observes whether the child says anything when their “private part” is rubbed, or if any adults notice. If so, he promptly apologizes and calls it an accident and he knows to be more careful next time, take another route or choose another child/family. If not, now that they are having loads of fun, Uncle John begins to pick the child up, play more hands on games and has successfully disarmed the child and the adults to the point that everyone is comfortable, or, a new norm has been set with Uncle John that people may not be comfortable with, but, “…it’s just Uncle John.” Uncle John is now able to take it to the next level. Sometimes the “grooming” process can go on for months before any act of reportable sexual abuse is committed. Often, the lines of what is appropriate and what is over the line become very blurred. Once a reportable act of sexual abuse HAS occurred, the child often feels responsible, in that they have never said anything before, so who would believe them now. There are many more examples of “grooming” and what you should know. Next week I will address the lies that a perpetrator actually tells the child about the abuse. Please, if these informational posts are triggering you because sexual abuse has touched your life in a personal way, now is the time to seek assistance. “IT IS THE SILENCE THAT POISONS OUR FAMILIES” (Former Miss America, Marilyn van Derbur, Stewards of Children) I urge every parent to take this training or call me directly for assistance. Between my services, other qualified professionals, Children’s Cove, Independence House, and others, every adult; parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle….should be trained, along with EVERY person providing any level of care to a minor. *Snyder, H. N. (2000). Sexual assault of young children as reported to law enforcement: Victim, incident, and offender characteristics. Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Bureau of Justice Statistics. This is an empowerment program, not a paranoia or scare based program. Even given the numbers of 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys being sexually abused before their 18th birthday, it is important to keep a sense of perspective. While we have to keep in mind that there are offenders in the local community, the vast majority of people do not sexually abuse children. Our #1 defense and method to keep children safe in our community is to begin to talk about CSA and educate ourselves about CSA. It is an adult responsibility to protect children from sexual abuse! Click here for testimonials from Cape Cod parents and professionals who took this training with Tracy Lamperti.
By Tracy Lamperti,
Psychotherapist, Educator, Consultant Please see www.tracylamperti.com for more information about working with children and families or specifically about sexual abuse. If you would like 1:1 assistance, please contact Tracy Lamperti for a consultation. Tracy Lamperti, LMHC, BCETS Psychotherapist, Educator, Consultant My Blog My Website lamperticc@gmail.com 774-722-5919 
By: Tracy Lamperti, LMHC, BCETS (2nd of 7 posts on child sexual abuse prevention) The Stewards of Children training offers SO much important information. About the MOST important thing you will learn in this training is about situations where children would potentially be exposed to One on One Situations. · A One on One situation is any situation where your child would be alone with an adult, older child, bigger child, or child that your child might perceive as more dominant, even if that child is younger or smaller. · Potential One on One situations might be as follows: o Your child has to use the bathroom and his whole class is on the playground; o Your child skins their knee and is taken for a bandaid; o Your child is acting out and needs to be removed from the group; o All of the other children have been picked up and your child is the last one, waiting with the last teacher; o Your child is taken out of the classroom for special help or a music lesson; These are just some examples. Challenge yourself to think of others. · What should you do about One on One situations? 1. First, you should attend the next Stewards of Training Workshop (see below); three of your valuable hours spent learning to protect your dear child. 2. You should ask anyone who provides care to your child, “What is the policy about ‘one on one situations’ in your program (school, music studio, recreation department…). § IF they respond right away with an explanation, you know you are on the right track. If they tilt their head, squint their eyes, ask what you mean, etc. EITHER THEY HAVEN’T BEEN TRAINED AND/OR THEY DON’T HAVE A POLICY. § At minimum, you are looking for knowledge in their response and you are looking for buzz words, about any one on one situation being “observable” and “interruptible.” § In these days, with all of the headlines, programs should be able to field questions like this without a pause. There are definite next steps to take in either scenario, but too lengthy for this blog post. I urge you to take the training or contact me for more information. This is an empowerment program, not a paranoia or scare based program. Even given the numbers of 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys being sexually abused before their 18th birthday, it is important to keep a sense of perspective. While we have to keep in mind that there are offenders in the local community, the vast majority of people do not sexually abuse children. Our #1 defense and method to keep children safe in our community is to begin to talk about CSA and educate ourselves about CSA. I double and triple urge every parent to take this training or call me directly for assistance. Between my services, other qualified professionals, Children’s Cove, Independence House, and others, every adult; parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle….should be trained, along with EVERY person providing any level of care to a minor. It is an adult responsibility to protect children from sexual abuse! Click here for testimonials from Cape Cod parents and professionals who took this training with Tracy Lamperti.
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