By: Amy E
I am so disgusted by some recent events I saw online pop up online on someone's Facebook page. What you will read today in my blog may shock you and it may not. Maybe it has become the norm and people are okay with this behavior. I know we have all seen this before online, some of us have been affected by it, been victims of it or have even been the aggressors of the situation. And we are all aware of the effects of “cyber bullying” and “slandering”. Adults and young people have killed themselves over things like this. To see what transpired yesterday, which has now been taken down by the admin, was heartbreaking. A group of fellow women and also mothers decided to make fun of another local mom. They made degrading comments about her looks, her business and her family including her children. In fact one of the comments was slightly ironic since they were conversing about a “selling” type page and made a comment about how she “can’t afford a bed for her son”, implying because she found a good deal online that she was poor or a bad mother.
To pick on someone in a public forum (Facebook is a large public forum regardless of privacy controls) that potentially could reach thousands of people all of whom are local was disgusting and horrifying. Why trash another mother like this publically? Why damage her reputation, her businesses integrity and her family by calling them “inbreds”. And not only did this group of women trash this mother, but they made themselves look like a bunch of crazed animals. What was also shocking was the stunning SILENCE that echoed on this Facebook page and how almost no one stood up to these ladies.
This behavior is nothing new, it just has grown as the digital age has grown. As the problem has grown and this online “gossiping” and “bullying” has grown, has our apathy to the situation also grown? Do we see it and choose not to get involved because it’s just drama and it is typical? Has the CONSTANT need for being connected finally broken down and changed the way we communicate and empathize with one another? Good communication is one of the reasons that humanity has been as successful as it is and now that it is breaking down, what does that mean for us?
We are all sisters, why are we fighting and picking on one another? We should be encouraging one another and supporting each other. Aren’t we all in this big job of “parenting” and being “moms” together? We have one of the toughest jobs on the planet my fellow sisters…. Raising the next generation, and we all know this is no easy task. Personally some days I feel like I am banging my head against the wall I’m so stressed and overwhelmed. But women are strong and we will persevere and fight to get the job done to the best of our ability even if it means sacrificing.
We are supposed to raise our children to be courageous, kind, gentle, and empathetic. We are supposed to teach them honesty and accountability. We are supposed to inspire them to be even BETTER people than we are! It worries me for the kids who may be learning this behavior in the home and who will someday “copy” it and try to hurt another human being. Our children are a reflection of us and they will reflect the qualities we model for them.
This really happened yesterday and it happened in OUR community. Now what are we going to do about it? Next time you see something like this happen, will you sit by and let it happen? Or will you put yourself on the line and say: “Enough, this is our community and this person is part of our community and we will NOT allow this to happen, we will NOT allow our children to learn this behavior.”
Remember, we are fellow sisters. Don't break each other down, support one another. Women of the past fought hard for us to be where we are. We are stronger together and together we can change the world.
12/13/2013 06:56:31 am
I honestly think this blog should be taken down and re-written. It has the potential to give a powerful message to adults and parents in our community. However, it gives a one-sided, emotional view of an incident that occurred. I question the validity of some of the "facts" mentioned in this blog. I did see the conversation mentioned in the blog pop up in my news feed. The conversation began on someone's personal Facebook page, not on one of the Cape Cod groups. I glanced at the conversation, but did not read all of the comments. From the few comments that I did read, there are some mis-qoutes in this blog. In a way, this blog is just fueling the fire between the "victim" and the participants in the conversation. It is not solving the problem or providing effective solutions on how to prevent or solve problems like this from happening in the future. I know of the "victim" and some of the participants in the conversation, but I do not truly know them. As in, I know there names, maybe a little about their family, jobs, etc. but I do not have a close bond with any of them, so, I feel my perspective shows no bias. If this situation happened to me, as a "victim", my first step would be to reach out to the participants in the conversation privately and tell them what they did hurt me and ask them why they did it. I would listen to their response and voice my opinions. Technology is becoming a helping hinderance. We have come so far with technological advances, yet people are losing the ability to communicate with each other face-to-face. Many times what is written on the internet can be interpreted differently. A miniscule conversation can quickly get blown out of proportion and spiral into an unnecessary mess leaving many people upset and agitated. As a parent, I encourage my children to communicate. We focus on spending time together free of distractions. I limit the exposure and time my children spend with electronics. In order for this to be effective, I limit the time I spend on electronics. My phone is not always with me. I am on my computer during nap-time or in the evenings when my children go to bed. I watch the news and maybe one or two other show series. My children know how to solve problems with each other and with peers by using their words. We, as adults and parents, need to lead by example. I am sorry this incident happened and I hope it can be resolved.
12/16/2013 12:54:06 am
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