Today we are featuring a Guest Post from Ashley of the blog: Memoirs of a Modern Day Wife! If you haven't checked out her blog yet, you are definitely missing out! After you read this fantastic post, head on over to read more!
There is a lot to be said for the woman who stays home, raises her children, and takes care of everything house related, but there is also a lot to be said for the working wife and mother.
There is always this internal struggle in the mind of a woman, between what is right and what is wrong in regards to how to raise happy children and how to keep her home in order. Whether she makes the choice to become a stay at home mother or a working mother-she is judged.
One night last week my school aged son did not have enough time to do his homework. He is a proud Cub Scout and had a Cub Scout awards ceremony to attend, in which he was the recipient of several awards. My son didn't arrive home until 9pm that night, and he was exhausted. I weighed the consequence of making him stay up late to do his homework, with the consequence of not doing his homework so he could go to bed. I figured it would be best to send him to bed so he wasn't sleep deprived the next morning (I wake him up to get ready for school every morning at the asinine hour of 6:15am). I then wrote to his teacher
telling her that he would make up his homework the next night.
A couple days later, I received a call from his teacher asking, if next time, we could squeeze his homework in before he attends any extracurricular events. I replied explaining that there is not enough time to squeeze in his homework from the time I get home from work in the afternoon, until the time he leaves for his activities. That I do not have the pleasure of going home after picking my son up from the bus stop because I have to go back to work-and he comes with me. That he cannot do his homework while I am at work, because i takes me standing over him to get his homework done-and I cannot stand over him because I'm working.
On top of all that, the after school program at my sons school is ridiculously overpriced. I could send him there, but I would have to work more hours just to afford it. I could hire a nanny for a few hours a day, and yet again work more hours to afford that service as well. More hours at work equals less time with my children, and I already feel that I'm robbed time with my kids because of my job.
You see, there is very little balance in a working woman's life-and this homework example is just one of many examples in which I'm not able to bend and mold my schedule to other people's expectations of me. A working wife and mother works because she has to, not because she wants to. Her decision to work and not stay home is driven by a financial force, not a selfish force.
What people don't know is that I would give my most prized possessionsto be able to stay home, but we need a roof over our head, food to eat, and heat to keep us warm. These things are not valuable possessions; they are the basic necessary needs of every family in the world-and it just so happens that I need to work to help provide them. When I am old and saggy, I'll be able to reflect on the past knowing I did my family right by working. Every wife and mother wants to know that she can look back in the past and be
People who judge working wives and mothers need to take a step back and think about it before judging. Sometimes what you think you see, and think you know, isn't a reality. I can proudly say my children are healthy, they are happy, and they want for nothing. Maybe a night of homework gets missed, but it will get made up the very next night. Maybe we don't eat dinner together every night, but we still have nutritious food to eat nonetheless. Maybe I am missing out on a lot of time during some of the best years with my kids, but they wouldn't be the best years if I didn't have money to provide my family with basic needs.
I give credit to both working mothers and stay at home mothers. Our jobs are totally different, but as equally challenging. A woman has so many more responsibilities then she did 50 years ago. Tread lightly, stop judging, and remember that every family is different, yet totally amazing in their uniqueness.
Check out Ashley's Blog: Memoirs of a Modern Day Wife!
Cape Cod Moms